You’re All Insane

For everyone in comments and e-mail who have plaintively asked if it’s okay if they like the Seven and the Ragged Tiger album, here’s a Duran Duran video for y’all:

It’s “New Moon on Monday,” in which Simon, John, Roger, Andy and Nick (God please strike me dead for being able to remember all their names without a Wikipedia check) foment a proletarian revolution against the lightsaber-wielding secret police through the cunning use of kites and fireworks. Who knew it could be that easy? Mind you, had I been the commisar of the secret police of Duranoslavia here, I could have stopped this incipient revolution simply by rounding up every man wearing a leather coat and eyeliner, and then throwing them into a room full of Saxon fans. Yes, that would have solved that problem very nicely.

Anyway: Enjoy your stinkin’ Duran Duran, you freaks.

68 Comments on “You’re All Insane”

  1. You DO realize that by mocking in general the music that played when you were in puberty, you are also claiming your spot on the front porch from which to shout “You darn kids! Stay offa my lawn!”

  2. Steve, you know, I did that a long time ago. And my front porch, she wraps around the house. So I can yell at the kids from more than one side!

  3. I like New Moon On Monday, The Reflex and Wild Boys, in that order. Union of the Snake would make the list if I could figure out at least a hint of what it is about.

  4. Bleh. The Taylors were nothing — nothing! — until Robert Palmer dragged them out of obscurity. XD

  5. Is forment a combination of foment and ferment? Because that neologism makes me think of an alcohol-fueled revolution (aren’t they all).

    They don’t age well, the Durans.

  6. Okay, I admit it. DD came to Seattle a couple years ago on tour, and I turned up along with thousands of other 40-somethings, all of us yelling and singing along and shaking our asses as much as we could before falling exhausted into our chairs (and boy, you can spot the old folks who work out versus the old folks who don’t at one of these events.)


    @punkrockhockeymom: John Taylor is still smokin’….

  7. Every now and then, one of these videos comes crawling out of my subconscious, and I have to ask myself, “Say, Adam. When you were a kid, did you see a video where five men beat a police state with fireworks, kites and finely coiffed hair?” I usually say, “No, dude, that’s just the lead paint chips coming to call.”

    And then you post this thing.

    I’m off to eat more paint chips.

  8. Bleah. Went to google video and searched Saxon. Also Bleah. Don’t get me wrong, I like me some eighties music but these two just ain’t doin it for me.

  9. I could have stopped this incipient revolution simply by rounding up every man wearing a leather coat and eyeliner…

    Yeah, I’m sure that’s going to work out really well in practice.

  10. “New Moon on Monday” is probably my favorite Duran Duran song and video. (The latter avoids the Russell Mulcahy “obligatory water splash”; that right there is worth some points.)

  11. John, just remember: Every little thing the reflex does leaves you answered with a question mark.

  12. I don’t have an opinion on *Seven and the Ragged Tiger*, but is it okay if I think “Dale Earnhardt commemorative Beanie Babies” are kind of cool?

    I feel compelled to add that I have a can of Dale Earnhardt commemorative Easy Cheese (“Sharp Cheddar” flavor) sitting next to my laptop as I type this.

  13. I thought the reflex was in charge of finding treasure in the dark? The child does that? That does leave me with a question mark.

  14. Patrick M: As if YOU never wore eyeliner and a leather coat, Scalzi!!!

    You realize, of course, that this would only take a few minutes of Photoshopping….

  15. They achieved apotheosis with Rio and did a slow slide into suck after that.

    I think the Power Station album shows what the rocking elements of the band thought of Seven…

    Yes, I dated a “Duranie” during the 80s, why do you ask?

  16. David B: I was about to post something apologetic about the video and it being prior to the fall of the Eastern Bloc, but I like your idea *much* better.

    I certainly have no better explanation for “Union of the Snake” than a desperate attempt to be on time to a circle jerk.

  17. Ok This post is finally worth my de-lurking. Not that the others weren’t, but I was shy. But OH MY GOD I must comment on the Duran Duran post.

    Ironically, although I have read your books and I work in a bookstore specializing in Sci-Fi, I did not find your blog until it was linked to on a feminist women of color’s website. An irony that I find most amusing.

    ANYWAY, I freakin LOVE Duran Duran. I am a 36 year old woman and I have seen them every time they have played a concert in my area. I still turn into a blathering, squealing 12 year old whenever I hear/see them. For you to link to my favorite song/video was just a little too much for me to keep quiet.

    It is always cool to like Duran Duran. They are pretty. They are talented. They were pioneer video artists.

    As we are naming favorites, I was a Nick girl when I was young but after the hormones kicked in I started digging Simon. But really… who can choose just one?

    Did I mention the tattoo? heh.

  18. Hey, welcome thisisendless. Which bookstore? And which feminist women of color’s website?

    I’m honestly curious as I read Feminist SF and Feministing.

    I will say that my wife has seen them three times recently and still for some odd reason chooses to stay with me.

  19. Duran Duran: The group that has been more unfairly maligned than any other in popular music history. I’m still waiting for critics in general to admit that they were completely wrong about them.

    Radio has also done them a disservice by constantly playing the same five songs over and over again, which just compounds the whole “80’s band” thing, when ‘Ordinary World’, for one example, was a hit well outside of that decade. (Why are bands classified according to the decade in which they achieve prominence, anyway?)

    This message is courtesy of someone who’s seen them 32 times, and implores you to check out their back catalogue; there are some real gems there that weren’t released as singles.

  20. The website is The Angry Black Woman. And I would say the bookstore but I don’t know if its prudent to do so for safety reasons (I am always wary of personal info online) and not wishing to use Mr. Scalzi’s blog for free publicity/advertisment, as I know this may be a breach of netiquette.

    Its in the SF bay area though.

  21. Cartoon Coyote:
    I will agree with you on all points. The second side of the Big Thing Album is one of my favorites. There is some really awesome stuff hidden on the B sides of singles too.

  22. My teenaged son went through a Duran Duran phase a couple of years ago. It’s harder to wear out MP3s than to wear out vinyl … this is probably not a good thing. We went to the concert; he was disconcerted by all of the women my age singing along with *his* band. Sorry, kid, that’s how it goes sometimes…..

  23. Hoopy special effects with that mylar kite and lightning bolts! I like the music but not the nonsensical videos.

  24. @32 CartoonCoyote opined:
    I’m still waiting for critics in general to admit that they were completely wrong about them.

    No, no, no, a thousand times no. Crickets in general or in specific must never, ever admit being wrong. Because otherwise they would be, well, just folks with opinions, rather than demigodly arbiters of Taste and What Shall Be Watched.

    [And we the groundlings would have to re-examine our own willingness to let others choose that which We the Sheeple will accept as Teh Best — rather than experiencing life first-hand and formulating our own private opinions, each unique in the way that snowflakes aren’t.]

    When the facts disagree with the opinion of a cricket, the cricket is compelled to explain why you don’t understand the subtler nuances of High Art.

  25. I just need to throw another 30-sumthun’ female voice into the John Taylor is so totally hot consensus forming here. I think he made me love (as in notice at all) the bass when I was in my prepubescence.

    And, you know, they really do have some good songs. Ordinary world, for one. Come Undone is a fabulous make-out song, ahem. And Falling Down ain’t bad either.

  26. Duran Duran: The group that has been more unfairly maligned than any other in popular music history. I’m still waiting for critics in general to admit that they were completely wrong about them.

    Radio has also done them a disservice by constantly playing the same five songs over and over again, which just compounds the whole “80’s band” thing, when ‘Ordinary World’, for one example, was a hit well outside of that decade.

    Funnily enough, the only Duran Duran song I ever hear on the radio is ‘Ordinary World’, and I keep seeing critics banging on about what a great pop band and how influential and significant to their era they were.

    Of course, they were never as good as Talk Talk, but it’s much easier to be famous pop stars when your singer doesn’t look like Gollum.

    On a tangentially related note, A-Ha have made some spiffing good albums in the last ten years. Almost every song on “Minor Earth Major Sky” (2000!) is way better than Take On Me.

  27. John, thank you for posting/linking to an interesting collection… er, collage? montage? gumbo? — sampler of Duran^2. While not personally among those who squee at hearing their name, IMHO you did select some of the better bits of their work.

    Your posting shows that even if you cite them in the same breath of a fine rant as Lenin, you are much more discriminating than the surface reader might choose to believe – you old softy, you!

    (As for remembering their names, chalk it up to a good memory and clean living. ;^)
    I don’t have a problem with insanity — I enjoy every minute of it.

  28. Strangely enough, I’ve been both a Duran Duran fan and a Saxon fan. Yes, sometimes I beat myself up.

    Seriously though, I’m a big fan of Union of the Snake as well. And no, I’m not really sure what it’s about either. But I think that’s cool.

  29. Clearly the fireworks, kites and large sparklers interfered with the emanations from the ethereal disembodied villainous Antlanteans tat were controlling the Evil Villains actions. Well done, fabulously haired four. Now I’m starting to wonder where my love of early Howard was born…

  30. I’m just astonished to learn that there’s anyone out there with an un-ironic appreciation of this particular album! With the overblown videos and the idiotic songwriting, I think this was actually the critical moment When Eighties New Wave Went Too Far. It was mere moments after this that hair bands swept new wave from MTV once and for all . . . or until it could come back as nostalgia, anyway.

  31. I absolutely frickin’ love this song. And, I admit, I was so besotted with this video when I was a teenager that I made my older sister translate the French bit at the beginning–the long piece from the extended video.

    Yet, she still talks to me. Amazing.

    Mr. Scalzi, it appears as if you have a wide Duranie contingent amongst your fans. I hope this informs your future works. Or, at least, your con karaoke appearances.

  32. I usually sing Modern English’s “Melt With You,” actually. Right in my vocal range, it is.

  33. The Duranies never surpassed “Planet Earth” or “Girls on Film” (and they’d set the bar quite low with those).

    Saxon though had the guy with the rotating guitar on Top of the Pops – just the thing to get your wheels of steel rolling.

  34. Oh, SQUEEEEEE! Yes, me lurvs some Duran Duran, back when metrosexual was some eyeliner maker’s dream.

    Their songs were made of Awesome Sauce. Thank you for posting the video ;-). Friday is going to be a good day now.

  35. Enough with the Duran Duran, we need to dwell on the room full of Saxon fans for a moment. “Denim and Leather/Brought us all together!”

  36. Anyone check out that old litho machine in the video? Remember, good typesetting will help bring about a bloodless revolution. And, fireworks. And, five incredibly INCREDIBLY handsome men…yay Friday!

  37. If Duran Duran fans are Durannies, does this provide a perhaps disturbing explanation for the incredible material properties of duranium?

    Sorry, I had to. :-D

  38. Brian @51 – Yes, obviously a derivative of heavy metal. I apologise if they were, in any way, my fault.

  39. D.Paul: I purchased the import vinyl version of “Seven and the Ragged Tigger” back in the day for $25. And I still have it! And it’s still playable.

  40. I am 14 again, writing “I *heart* John Taylor” in my notebooks, next to “I *heart* Adam Ant” and the lyrics to Howard Jones songs. Good times.

  41. Salome @55 – There’s more than one Howard Jones song? Cathie pines for Nik Kershaw, partly ‘cos she nursed his wife. Mind you, she also nursed Rick Parfitt’s wife, but that didn’t make her a Status Quo fan. At least, not that she’ll admit.

  42. I heard somewhere that “Union of the Snake” is about the Kundalini force, which is often described as a snake of energy which rises from the base of the spine to activate the chakras. I don’t know that the band would agree with me, though.

    It seems that most DD songs to which one’s first reaction is, “WTF is this supposed to mean??” are about sex, in some permutation or another. ;)

    I was at the same show that David B. @ #28 went to, and it totally rocked! “Falling Down” is much better live. My non-Duranie friends even thought it was a great show.

  43. “Duranium”? Ha! I’ve got to use that in my next book!

    And what about “Playing With (D)uranium” DD Fans?


    PS – Jennifer #57, were you the one holding up the “Will Trade Husband For John” sign?

  44. Nope, but I don’t need to trade. When my son (about 5 years old at the time) first saw the pictures on John’s “Trust the Process” website, he asked me if that was his dad! :0

    John is definitely my fave, though.

  45. Sorry about the smugness, there. My husband is not really as hot as John Taylor, (I’m not sure anyone is :) ); but he sure works for me!

  46. “Anyway: Enjoy your stinkin’ Duran Duran, you freaks.”

    You tell ’em, Journey-boy. Hey, do you know if there’s an emulator for the PC for the old “Journey Escape” Atari game? Nuthin’ beat spending a few hours after school trying to help Steve and the boys escape from thousands of screaming pixelated fans!

  47. Dave Bara on 25 Jul 2008 at 1:37 pm:

    ‘Playing With Uranium’ is THE great lost single; if anyone on this thread continues to scoff at them, I implore you to spend the 99 cents at iTunes for just this one track.

  48. All this talk of vinyl imports is making me want to go home, wrap myself in my Duran Duran sateen roadie jacket, and read my “All the Words” lyric book and concert programs from the Notorious tour.

    And yes, Red Carpet Massacre is covered in awesome sauce.

  49. Back in the early 80’s I preferred music with sharper teeth. Stuff like this, The Lords Of The New Church – Open Your Eyes. Closest I got to Duran Duran was a comic reference to them by Dweezil Zappa on his first record, well that & “Barbarella”. Wang Chung cured me of MTV & “hair metal”.

  50. Oh, man, NOW I’m going to have that song in my head all night! It is rather dismaying that I remembered all the words to “New Moon” – without having played the YouTube blurb.
    I wasn’t even a Duran Duran fan back then!

    You’re evil, just evil!

    I have to say, though, your remarks about men in eyeliner brought up visions of Capt. Jack Sparrow joining Duran Duran for a mashup. Can’t you see it? I mean, I remember Johnny Depp being able to sing as far back as Jump Street…Duran Duran would NOT be a stretch.

    Ick, time to find that Stephanie Meyer playlist I’m putting together for the Breaking Dawn party next week. Maybe the vampires will exorcise Duran Duran.


  51. This was called to my attention as evidence of why Duran Duran might not be so bad after all. Just sayin’ – kinda hard not to have more respect for them (or John at least) after reading that.

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