That’s Dragon*Con For You
Posted on August 31, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 51 Comments
How is my Dragon*Con going? Oh, well, you know. Pretty standard stuff.
Well, except for that incident last night involving bacon-flavored jellybeans, a conga line and a room filled with sweaty gay men.
But I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that.
I will say this, though: Man, are my knees sore.
(Walks off, whistling)
To answer the immediate questions: Yes, there really was an incident involving bacon-flavored jellybeans, a conga line, and a room full of sweaty gay men. And yes, actually my knees are sore (and yes, the latter fact is somewhat related to the former incident). And, since I’m actually mentioning this publicly and for humorous effect, you may assume the whole event was not nearly as sordid as you might think, you imaginative, hopeful perverts, you.
I sat in my chair, reading your post and something snapped in my mind from the rush of jokes. You broke my brain, Scalzi.
All I could think of was the poor reader who, having recently finished one of the Scalzi novels, decided to go online and check out this Whatever website thing….. and this is the first post they read. Oh the humanity.
Depending on who they are, they might like me more!
Mr. Scalzi, you’ve certainly made me smile this morning!!!!
Not to sound dirty, but it sounds like fun (minus the bacon flavored jelly beans… eww!!!)!!!
Knee pads, Mr. Scalzi. Never forget your kneepads…
“John Scalzi: everything for the fans”
“John Scalzi: You wouldn’t believe what I’ll do for a Hugo”
I don’t know about the bacon jelly beans, but the room full of sweaty gay men could be nice, under the right circumstances.
I had about three responses to this, but they were all either too easy, or too obscure.
So, Happy Sunday!
Were the bacon-flavoured jellybeans being passed down the conga line of sweaty gay men, and if so, how?
How did you get into that situation?????
On second thought, I don’t want to know, I’m not so into bacon flavoured jellybeans, or sweaty gay men in a conga line, and I’m glad I have no imagination.
*sigh* as if I didn’t already have enough motivation to become a highly successful SF author…
Now I know what that strange thing was on your Hugo award. Does it vibrate?
I have been to Dragon*Con and this surprises me not.
I mean, when you hear some loud music from the ballroom and you walk in and GWAR are playing to a bunch of “large” male cosplayers dressed like Princess Amadala, and the “cuttlefish” is spraying the crowd in red food dye and other simulated bodily secretions, your “Surprise-o-Meter” gets pretty much pegged to the “0” side, like the broken speedometer on a rusted out 1953 Chevy Pickup.
I feel certain that John’s knees are sore either from dancing too much in the conga line, or from crawling on the floor to gather up jellybeans.
The roomful of sweaty gay men, however, makes me think Dragon*Con may be worth my while after all.
It must be awesome to be powered by such pure evil.
mmmm sweat flavoured bacon flavoured jelly beans
Just be grateful it’s only your knees that are sore.
Where can one get some of these bacon-flavored jellybeans?
Still laughing my ass off…and I’ve got a lot to laugh off! :) Well done Mr. S! :)
Hmm…bacon-flavored jelly beans and sore knees? An extreme test of the 5-second rule comes to mind.
You’re whistling? From where? Depending upon the location you might want to employ a strong unguent. My advice to you is take two jellybeans and call me in the morning.
You know how to whistle, don’t you?
Karen, in a room full of sweaty gay men that old quote takes on a whole different meaning. : )
Uh….I’m that new guy….head spinning in confusion … jelly beans and wha????
Heheheh. Glad you’re having fun. Dragoncon and Gencon are primarily roleplaying events, not sci-fi/fantasy per se, and if I ever went to any cons those would be the ones I’d go to. Probably Dragoncon moreso than Gencon at the moment since I live closer to Atlanta than Indianapolis.
Bacon-flavored jelly beans – hah! We laugh at bacon-flavored jelly beans up here in Minnesota. Much too pedestrian. The new delicacy for this year’s State Fair, where every food must be available impaled on a stick, was chocolate-covered bacon-on-a-stick.
Mmmmm, I’ve had bacon on a stock before (dipped in brown sugar, I believe), but *chocolate* covered bacon on a stick is a whole new level of goodness.
I want a picture of you with Phil “The Bad Astronomer” Plait.
I live in Decatur so I can tell you where to get good beer to go with those bacon flavored jelly beans AND the string of gay men. Not so unusual around these parts.
Basil – John rose to international fame by taping a slice of bacon to his cat and then posting the photo here. It was FARK’d and linked to/from everywhere, possibly as far off as Proxima Centauri. John even made a mock “Motivation” poster based on the prank. Ever since, anything bacon-themed is sort of an in-joke in these parts.
The rest of it – jellybeans, conga line, and sweaty gay men – are staples of science fiction conventions.
Sounds normal for Dragoncon and the other competing events in Atlanta every Labor Day weekend. And next year we get to add the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series, so we’ll get to add rabid race car fandom to the mix…
I was on my knees all day today and no one offered me bacon flavored jelly beans, boo! Oooh, a crawling Conga line, now that’s too interesting an image to conjure when my own knees hurt.
John, you can get bacon flavored jelly beans, bacon flavored floss, and a spinning wheel that answers the question “what would meat do?”, along with bacon looking band-aids all from Junkman’s Daughter…which is just a few miles away from Dragon*Con.
I hope to catch up with you tomorrow….are the autographs priced?
I’m not at Dragon*Con anymore, actually. However, the book stores in the dealer’s room have signed copies of books, since I signed stock before I left.
Aw! Darn! I thought I had my schedule down tight!
Dirty boy! Dirty, dirty boy!
I managed this time to go all 4 days of Dragoncon (3 of which I think Scalzi attended) without even spotting the elusive Scalzi. There’s just so damned much to do there! Shiny things! Shiny people! Shiny Joss Whedon musicals! Shiny 2-hour-long waits in line for panels!
I never did find the dealer’s room with the books in it, either. Where were they hiding it?
In the Marriott.
Hello. I was the fan in the waistcoat, white smock, and goggles at your reading and signing. I read this and wondered, first, why I hadn’t found these amazing treasures of the con before I had to leave. I just wanted to thank you for being a lovely person and a great surprise — I’d been disappointed that I had to leave for school and miss you at Joseph-Beth in Lexington, as I’m from a town nearby, but then you showed up at the convention. Hurrah!
If you missed getting the stock John signed at Dragon*Con, I’m certain that Glennis at http://www.themissingvolume.com will be glad to ship it to you (I met John when he was frantically signing her stock before leaving :-) ).
God, that was fun, wasn’t it?
Well, since you were there, Alethea, how could it not be?
I found my dealer’s room problem, I think. There were “Exhibitors” halls on either side of the Marriott. We went through one, not the other. We also went to the big dealer’s room in the back toward the Hilton. There were lots of comic books there but no actual BOOK books.
What I’d been looking for was Mike Resnick’s Kirinyaga stories because I’d been told both that it was out of print at the moment and that it could be found in the dealer’s room. But I have found it available on amazon, so all is well.
Howcum you didn’t give us a “this weekend is DragonCon, I’ll be here at this time, then here at this time, then here at this time” post?
Well hell, how did I miss that? Thanks for the retro-update!
Hmmm, bacon flavored jelly beans. You mean these beans, old bean?
And did (comment #30), consider your prayers answered.
I went to buy your book John, but all the book vendors where sold out!! WELL DONE!
And D*C was so much fun.
Well i was sold out of Zoe’s Tale but I did have other books by John available for sale. Still need to update the website with all the goodies left over from Dragoncon.
And I want to publicly say “Thanks!” for doing the signing. We were so busy my husband forgot to get his copy of the Rough Guide to the Universe signed. And I forgot to get my HC 2nd printing of Old Man’s War signed. Maybe the next time I see you I’ll have found a first.