“Hate Mail” Winners
Posted on September 1, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 24 Comments
There are four winners of the “Send Me Hate Mail” contest, three of whom will have their hate mail entries included inside the book, and one of whom will have theirs on the back cover. The winners are, in no particular order:
For the winners, what you need to do is send an e-mail to Bill Schafer at email@example.com with your contact information, so we can get you set up with your fabulous, fabulous prizes. Congratulations to all of you, and thanks everyone for playing!
Congratulations to the very worthy winners.
We had to wait for this?
Seriously though, kudos to the winners. Special mention to Alternative Eric S., a LOL moment for sure.
I was most impressed by CBs, who got in a direct hit on the readers as well, and whose brevity was still impressive.
But winners (losers?) all!
I’m so excited for Nicole. I plan to slip into her living room, shout “Look, it’s Superman” and put her prize into my purse and sneak it away while she isn’t looking.
She’s practically family, I can do that! (My kid calls her the Big Sister He Never Wanted.)
Actually, she promised to autograph her hate mail when my copy arrives. She’s humble that way!
Hooray for all the winners!
“Chew on someone else’s hemorrhoids”? What a sick puppy! That one needs to go on the cover of the book.
You’ll pay for this, Scalzi.
(Insert maniacal laughter…)
Oh, man, I have never felt like such a rock star in my own mind.
I rule, yes I do. Tomorrow, it’s back to being an anonymous and somewhat useless engineer… but tonight, I’d like to thank the Academy…
I didn’t win, so now Scalzi gets a hate mail FOR REALZ!!!!
Congratulations to the winners.
Congratulations to all the winners!I just re-read them, and I think C. Rader was channeling Spider Jerusalem when s/he wrote that little gem.
Your hate mail sucks.
Gah. Have got to practice being more hateful.
“Chewing someone else’s hemorrhoids” is so beautifully hateful, though. I bow.
Congrats to the winners!
in other news – Subterranean Press is taking preorders for limited edition of Last Colony
John Scalvi and the Masticating Coprophages would be an awesome band name.
Dang! Mega congrats to the winners!
For my part, when I purchase a copy of Hate Mail from the remainder bins of the rat infested second hand book store in my town, I shall rip out all pages written by scalzi and keep only those pages upon which the winners’ hate mail resides, thus make that sucky, banal, pile of bilious orangutang droppings and asparagus-scented piddlings worthy of reading again.
Mine was better. (sniff)
Join me, Dr. Phil, and together we can plot our hideous revenge!
Does this mean I can stop pretending I’m not here now? Unsurprisingly my “clueless noob” hatemail was apparently too banal to make the cut. Ah well.
If I accept the award will I have to give up my amateur status?
Thank you @9 AntonGarou for that beautiful comparison. It’s such an honor… I especially liked Alternative Eric S. For the record, I be a he. Trouble is, whenever I show the piece to people I work with, they spit up a little, then look at me oddly, and move away. Sigh.
Congratulations, all. I enjoyed those.
I still enjoy mine, where I invoke Godwin in a limerick.
Hey, the winners are in a particular order! They’re ordered by decreasing word count!
Well goddam. So that’s how it’s done. No fair! They made up all that shit. That’s not HATE. At least not the way *I* would have done it. Dahyum.
Wow. C. Rader’s is stunningly imaginative. And the rest are no slouches either. Wow. Bravo, guys and gals. Well deserved reward for your vitriol.