Whatever X, Day II
Posted on September 2, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 14 Comments
What follows is proof Athena’s always been a primary component of Whatever:
AUGUST 4, 2000: The Unbearable Cuteness of Being Athena
This week’s entry into the insufferable “My Spawn Is Way Better Than Your Spawn” contest I currently have going on against every other parent on the entire planet:
Hey, Athena! Where’s your head? 
Now, where’s your elbow? 
How about your belly button? 
Can you show us your ear? 
What about your cute little nose? 
Finally, show us your toesies! 
I know, I know. And if it were anyone else’s child, I’d be retching, too. But I’ve said this before: Anything your kid does is normal human development. Anything my kid does is proof of supernatural intelligence. No offense to your totally normal in every way child. I’m sure that when both our children grow up, my child will undoubtedly provide your child with a cushy and not too terribly difficult job somewhere in her vast commercial and political empire. Cause she’s just giving that way.
If you think this is vomit-inducingly precious, you should see the videotape we made of her last night getting all excited about the Powerpuff Girls show coming on the TV. Lethally adorable, I tell you. You could just die.
All this cuteness is making me woozy. I better go lie down.
Well, I’m a pediatrician and I can give you my professional opinion…
Yes, practically pathologically cute. :)
Aww!!!
lol how’s Athena doing on her vast political and commercial empire???
Oh, thank you so much for this. Perfect way to wrap up the day. (I was feeling down because I couldn’t let go of some high-voltage stupid in the “Speaking of…” thread. I mean, my arms had grown cold and numb and my vision was getting all woobly.)
Elbow picture ftw! That one alone pulled me back from the abyss.
However, “toesies”? Really? I believe those are more accurately called “piggies.”
John,
You do know that sometime shortly after she turns sixteen (or so) she’s going to see this on the web and come after you with a dull spoon?
You do know that sometime shortly after she turns sixteen (or so) she’s going to see this on the web and come after you with a dull spoon?
Yes, this. My 15 year-old sees things online that I just *said* about him when he was younger and he sees red.
My nearly 12 year-old freaks about people calling him cute in response to pictures. :p
What a coincidence–I used to get terribly excited about The Powerpuff Girls show coming on the TV too.
There is, however, no visual evidence of this, which is good, since I was old enough to vote when it happened.
(You’ll note I avoided saying that I was an adult.)
*dies of Cuteness Toxicity*
I imagine that the responses would be totally different today if you with your camera asked Athena the same questions. Some of the gestures she might display would be rude and substantially less cute than all of these darling pictures.
Roald Dahl said it best, in the opening lines of Matilda:
It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius.
Well, there is nothing very wrong with all this. It’s the way of the world. It is only when the parents begin telling us about the brilliance of their own revolting offspring that we start shouting, “Bring us a basin! We’re going to be sick!”
I just had old 16mm film converted to DVD and the first reel is pure “kiddie porn”. OK, so it’s me at one month (filmed in 1942 by the way).
It’s just that … I don’t look familiar.
My nephew was a huge PowerPuff girls fan when he was 3-4.
When he got mad at me he’d say “You can’t save the day!”, and he frequently insisted he was buttercup.
ZOMFGBBQ!?!?! TEH CUTES!!!
I like how she seems to have a look of smirking toleration to the queries about her body parts culminating with the last photo in which she seems to say “Got it now, Daddy?”
My friend Bob said it best, of his daughter, then aged five months, “And she already has the intelligence of a six month old!”