Whatever X, Day II

What follows is proof Athena’s always been a primary component of Whatever:

AUGUST 4, 2000: The Unbearable Cuteness of Being Athena

This week’s entry into the insufferable “My Spawn Is Way Better Than Your Spawn” contest I currently have going on against every other parent on the entire planet:

Hey, Athena! Where’s your head? 

Now, where’s your elbow? 

How about your belly button? 

Can you show us your ear? 

What about your cute little nose? 

Finally, show us your toesies! 

I know, I know. And if it were anyone else’s child, I’d be retching, too. But I’ve said this before: Anything your kid does is normal human development. Anything my kid does is proof of supernatural intelligence. No offense to your totally normal in every way child. I’m sure that when both our children grow up, my child will undoubtedly provide your child with a cushy and not too terribly difficult job somewhere in her vast commercial and political empire. Cause she’s just giving that way.

If you think this is vomit-inducingly precious, you should see the videotape we made of her last night getting all excited about the Powerpuff Girls show coming on the TV. Lethally adorable, I tell you. You could just die.

All this cuteness is making me woozy. I better go lie down.

14 Comments on “Whatever X, Day II”

  1. Aww!!!
    lol how’s Athena doing on her vast political and commercial empire???

  2. Oh, thank you so much for this. Perfect way to wrap up the day. (I was feeling down because I couldn’t let go of some high-voltage stupid in the “Speaking of…” thread. I mean, my arms had grown cold and numb and my vision was getting all woobly.)

    Elbow picture ftw! That one alone pulled me back from the abyss.

    However, “toesies”? Really? I believe those are more accurately called “piggies.”

  3. John,

    You do know that sometime shortly after she turns sixteen (or so) she’s going to see this on the web and come after you with a dull spoon?

  4. You do know that sometime shortly after she turns sixteen (or so) she’s going to see this on the web and come after you with a dull spoon?

    Yes, this. My 15 year-old sees things online that I just *said* about him when he was younger and he sees red.

    My nearly 12 year-old freaks about people calling him cute in response to pictures. :p

  5. What a coincidence–I used to get terribly excited about The Powerpuff Girls show coming on the TV too.

    There is, however, no visual evidence of this, which is good, since I was old enough to vote when it happened.

    (You’ll note I avoided saying that I was an adult.)

  6. I imagine that the responses would be totally different today if you with your camera asked Athena the same questions. Some of the gestures she might display would be rude and substantially less cute than all of these darling pictures.

  7. Jeanne – I'm a reader, a writer, a mother, a wife, an ailurophile, a Writing Center Director, and a PhD in English Literature (specializing in Rhetoric and Composition and literature of the Eighteenth Century).

    Roald Dahl said it best, in the opening lines of Matilda:

    It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
    Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius.
    Well, there is nothing very wrong with all this. It’s the way of the world. It is only when the parents begin telling us about the brilliance of their own revolting offspring that we start shouting, “Bring us a basin! We’re going to be sick!”

  8. I just had old 16mm film converted to DVD and the first reel is pure “kiddie porn”. OK, so it’s me at one month (filmed in 1942 by the way).
    It’s just that … I don’t look familiar.

  9. My nephew was a huge PowerPuff girls fan when he was 3-4.

    When he got mad at me he’d say “You can’t save the day!”, and he frequently insisted he was buttercup.

  10. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, actually...


  11. I like how she seems to have a look of smirking toleration to the queries about her body parts culminating with the last photo in which she seems to say “Got it now, Daddy?”

  12. My friend Bob said it best, of his daughter, then aged five months, “And she already has the intelligence of a six month old!”

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