Whatever X, Day VI
Posted on September 6, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 28 Comments
Let’s go back a couple of years and admire some artistry:
JANUARY 19, 2006: Selected Creatures from the Athena Collection, With Artist Commentary
“He’s just a mixed up monster. Because he has crab arms, and an oval body and he has two ears that are, like, from an animal, I think? Is that right? Yeah. Probably a dog sticking up its ear, only it’s not pointy. He’s a monster, he destroys towns so his ears are always up because he’s angry all the time. Well, he’s not really angry, he’s just really mean.”
“He’s two-headed, and they both have one leg to make two. The one on the left has really big eyes and is really freaky looking, and the one on the right side is really freaky too, but you can choose which one you like better. I think I like the first one better, because he’s cooler looking, but the one the right looks dumber, doesn’t he? There’s a little town in front of them, it’s so small that you can’t even see it, and they’re mostly just that kind of monster.”
“A boy thinks this little girl is cute, and you can see little hearts coming from him, and I made an arrow so you know who he’s in love with, and then he walks over (but I didn’t put that on the board), and she turns HUGE and has razor sharp teeth and eats him! It’s really cool in the picture. Because she’s a monster, she was just in disguise. She has a little button to push her big and small and to disguise her mean eyes and razor sharp teeth. The boy will just live in her stomach and then he’ll turn into poop. You can fall in love with this girl. Just don’t get near her.”
“Which one is your favorite in all of them?”
I remember when these first went live (gosh… I’ve been here that long?) — and like them as much the second time.
I remember searching for some deep meaning behind loving a girl and slowly turning into poop.
Given the last one, I’d say you don’t have to worry too much about Athena’s first dates, John. She’ll be just fine…
“You can fall in love with this girl. Just don’t get near her.”
I think there’s a book in that line.
Or at least a short story.
Obviously the last one is the best. Reminds me of my first serious girlfriend. Good repeat.
What kind of bedtime stories *was* John telling Athena back then?
“OK, honey. Tonight’s story is called ‘Daddy and the Psychotic Ex-Girlfriend From The Netherworld.'”
(first line as identified by DG Lewis above)
This is one of those posts that I keep thinking back to at random moments. It’s all good, but “…they’re mostly just that kind of monster” still cracks me up.
I like the one of the girl in the hat best. Oh wait. Ok, yeah, the Devouring Girl From Hell.
The girl devouring the boy because I think it indicates that kids (Athena especially, of course) are much more intuitive and observant than we give them credit for.
I like them all. The second set of monsters remind me of the space creatures from Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator. The ones that could turn themselves into letters. I can’t remember their names.
I also like the little town that you can’t see. That’s the kind of detail that elevates good art into great art.
My favorite is definitely the last one!!!
I’ve done this with my little brother and sister when they were growing up… I would just type what they said, and it always turned out memorably.
Hehe, they all are awesome – it would be fun to try to make them in the Spore Creature Creator!
I definitely dated the girl in the last picture. I still feel kinda pooply sometimes.
Georgiana: I believe you mean the Vermicious Knids.
Boy meets girl. Girl eats boy. Boy turns into poop.
I like it. It’s very post-modern.
Nate beat me to it. Sick and twisted minds think alike, apparently.
Ugh. I tried with the first one, but the creature creator has fixed sized eyes, and I can’t figure out any other structures which you can put eyes on top of which would be that round and big so far. Maybe another set of zero-length arms…
Picture 3, and I’m a girl – I feel I’m letting the side down, but it’s DEEP.
I like the first one because he’s complex and he doesn’t make sense. The best kind of characters are the ones with self-contradictions. What’s more self-contradictory than mammal ears and invertebrate arms?
Andrew @ 13
Dude, why didn’t you tell me about her when I started dating her. I mean you coulda warned me that it wasn’t just one button to push. Girl had at least 20, one of which was if you opened the door for her she would freak out about you being a MCP. I spent the next 6 weeks looking like the older brother in Weird Science. It’s been what, 30 years, and I would still cross the street if I saw her first.
Actually, I learned alot from the experience. My next girlfriend, now wife of 28 years, taught me I didn’t have to change everything to be a nice guy, I already was one in her eyes.
I’m such a lucky stiff.
John, first young beauteous she kitten pictures then Athena early art portfolio. Are we in a memory lane warp right now or what.
Noah, Andrew, Jeff:
Damn, I knew Devouring Girl was popular, but I didn’t know she dated, like, EVERYONE.
Have any of these turned up as aliens in the OMW books?
Bruce @ 20
Yah, it looks like she got around
devouring girl, devouring guy, I think we could spin off a whole thread on bad dates with less than optimal people.
Chris G. @ 21 Maybe not in OMW but I seem to remember a big thing called Takk in Androids Dream that would fit the bill. Turned out to be a nice guy after his religious experience…
Oh, and John
Never mind about my question in the earlier comment.
I looked at the title of the post again and went “Sheesh, so much for my paying attention to what’s really going on”
The fact that it’s day VI of this group just makes it more “head banging against the keyboard” lame.
The third one is my favorite…. reminiscent of so many women I’ve asked out… you haven’t been showing your daughter Don Hertzfeldt’s L’Amour, have you?
I just hope that Stefana will have the same ideas Athena has about dating when she grows up a bit :)
Andrew Hackard – yes! Thank you, that’s exactly right. I don’t know how I forgot such a great name.
Number two is my favorite. It looks really cool, and I love that each head has a leg.
Does the “boy eaten by monster disguised as cute girl” item remind anyone of anything?
Anyone else see the Vagina dentata trope in there?
Must just be me, then.