This Week’s List of Links That Don’t Need to Be Sent to Me Anymore

In no particular order:

1. Robert Heinlein’s form for fan mail

2. Bacon vodka

3. Bacon bourbon

4. Bacon candies of any sort

5. Anything detailing how Sarah Palin is crazy/unprepared/ignorant/going to be the death of us all

6. Anything detailing how John McCain is old/unprepared/a lying scumbag who will say anything to be president

Really, I’m on top of all of these now, thanks. Please feel free not to send me any more e-mails about any of them. My e-mail queue appreciates your consideration.

30 Comments on “This Week’s List of Links That Don’t Need to Be Sent to Me Anymore”

  1. The Bacon Vodka reminds me that when I worked at a bar in Denver we’d joke about serving *Bacon Schnapps* with brunch on Sundays.


  2. Wow! It took this long for Bacon Bourbon to hit your “no more email, thanks” list? I have to admit to being a tiny bit intrigued by the bacon bourbon and maple syrup cocktail mentioned in the article I read some weeks ago.

  3. The Heinlein form letter prompted me to send an e.mail to David Brin, asking a question about the writerly decision making that went into one aspect of one of his books.

    He responded within a couple of hours, and gave me a very complete, informative answer, about as far from a from letter as can be imagined. I was glad he took the time – it was the high point of my day.

  4. Boy, do I have a great link for you! It’s Robert Heinlein’s for for order bacon vodka, bourbon and candles from Palin’s and McCain’s crazy/unprepared/ignorant/going to be the death of us all new company! You’ll love it!

  5. You definitely need a form letter. With at least 2-3 bacon related response checkboxes.

    [ ] Thank you for the link to the bacon flavored ________. Unfortunately, my doctor has restricted me from all artificially flavored bacon substitutes.

    [ ] Please do not send me bacon, either cooked or uncooked.

    [ ] All bacon related business opportunities and endorsements are handled by my agent: C. Stross, Esq. Please contact him regarding such matters.

    [ ] If I were to include bacon, or any other pork products, in my conjugal relations it would not be appropriate for me to comment publicly on the practice.

  6. I don’t get bacon or Heinlein email, but I’m up to my eyeballs with the Palin stuff.

    My fault, of course, for having the bad sense to live in Alaska and write a couple of pieces on her. I stopped counting when the email queue went over a 1000 the day after I posted the first piece, fuck it, I just started hitting “delete all.”

    I’m curious, John, are you getting the crazies too? So far I’ve been called a conservative asshole, a liberal asshole, an elitist, a Bush Republican, a neocon, a libertarian curmudgeon, anti-femnist, and an ex-military gun nut survivalist. At first this amused me, since I’m actually none of those things – but it’s long since started to get on my nerves.

    Thank the gods for gmail’s sorting routine, if not for that I’d lose my damned mind.

  7. So, you don’t want the link to Sarah Palin’s new ‘BcCains’, a candy-coated bacon treats shaped like McCain she made using a recipe stolen from Heinlein?

  8. Jim Wright:

    No, most people at this point seem to be smart enough not to send me crazy mail. I don’t know how I lucked out.

  9. I had a feeling that the Heinlein thing got sent to you a few times (probably years ago), but it was so wonderful I couldn’t take the chance that you hadn’t seen it.

  10. I don’t know how I lucked out.

    They’re all emailing me apparently, I got accosted by a couple of CNN types (“Gossip” Division, I think) day before yesterday in front of the grocery store – wanting to know my thoughts on the whole “Trig is Palin’s grandkid” bit. My answer? It’s unprintable, even here. I doubt they’ll put me on the news. Bastards, they should have known better than to ask me dumbassed questions before my morning coffee.

    Glad to be taking the heat off you, big guy. Just don’t send any of those bacon emails my way, please.

  11. I would have thought that there would have only been one tick box on RAH’s form letter –
    Thank you for your correspondence – I appreciate your thoughts and suggestions, but I am unable to reply due to being dead.

  12. Damn. See, and here I thought I had a new bacon twist for you with that vodka thing I sent. Now I’m guiltily thinking that instead of being the first person to send it to you, I was probably #28,912 — *on the same day*.

    Right. I’ll never do that again!

  13. I won’t email it to you, but I’ll tell you here. There’s a cool little bar near the University of Minnesota campus that has a Bacon-Bucket night – – a dollar for a bucket of bacon – – and live music, good atmosphere, etc.

    If you ever come to the Twin Cities (for a convention or signing or whatnot) I’d be more than happy to take you over there for an hour or so. I have yet to partake, but in the interest of a field trip, sure.

  14. Brendan – My wife and I ran a small college con for a couple of years, which entailed sending much e-mail to many authors. By and large, they responded quickly and politely. Oddly enough, they tended to use proper grammar and full sentences. David Brin declined our invitation to attend, but I seem to recall that his reply was one of the better ones.

  15. I suspect your efforts to correct “E-Mail Apologia” has been hindered by emails containing one or more of the above six items.
    Reminds me of time I spent at the County Fair. My friend and I were in 4H and he had Goats. So he had to spend time in the barn. How does this relate? Well about one in ten people would ask us “What kind of goats are you?” Every one of them thought they were the first to think of this particular joke and everyone one of them thought they were hilarious.

  16. Glad you cleared that up. I thought of sending the Heinlein form letter, but figures one of your countless minions would send it.

    You have to admit it’s right up your alley.

  17. regarding the Heinlein fan letter, shouldn’t it kind of go without saying that if io9 has a post about it, it doesn’t need to be emailed to SF bloggers anymore? Or do I just have an inflated sense of how many people actually read io9?

  18. What about stuff detailing how Barack Obama is inexperienced/unprepared/a lying scumbag who will say anything to be president?

    Links to posts about weird Triassic marine reptiles?

    Francis Bacon’s form mail response for fan mail?

    Roger Bacon’s form mail response for fan mail?

    Six Degrees of Scalzi Bacon?

    Obama’s form apology for blog posts written in his support?

  19. Does that mean you don’t want my form mail response for fan mail either?

    Good, ‘cuz that would require me to come up with a form mail response for fan mail. I’m too durn lazy for that.

    Respectfully, with parts of me taped to myself (to avoid falling to pieces),
    Bill Bacon

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