Fiddling, Part II
Posted on September 17, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 24 Comments
Okay, after trying WP-Supercache and not actually having it appear to cache much of anything (and after studiously following installation directions, thanks), I’ve reinstalled WP-Cache and have set the cache to be twice as long as it was previously. Also, I have sacrificed a goat. And a Mountain Dew. Hopefully this will placate the server gods. We’ll see.
Which was sacrificed first, and were you wearing the fresh steaming entrails of the goat as a necklace while you sacrificed the beverage?
This would change the outcome of the offerings.
pray to the Patron Saint of the Internet
Either one. Personally, I’d go with the Dew
Goats are for scsi chains.
Rams are for cache.
Why didn’t you sacrifice bacon?
Also, did you consult with your household deities (your cats) to secure their blessings for this venture?
The server gods are capricious. They are also not bought as cheaply as that.
No No No, when we’re talking about Net Gods, it’s Mountain Dew and CHEETOS.
Only neon orange artificial cheese-like flavoring can truly appease the server lords.
puts So Mote It Be!
I, for one, welcome our goat sacrificing, Mountain Dew drinking overlords…err, never-mind!
So, who got the goat entrails — Ghlaghghlee, Lopsided Cat or Zeus? And are there pictures?
O Thrashing Foolishly About Scalzi, you have done everything but beg enlightenment from Magnificent She, Source Of All That Is, Her Shimmering Glorious Radiant Perfection.
So maybe you should just ask Her what to do. And perhaps a nice photoessay or two describing in detail how the Beauteous Ghlaghghee spent Her day.
It would be a good thing to do – actually, it’s what you should do all the time, but we realize your limitations – especially after all of the irrelevant verbiage that has cluttered up the Whatever in recent days.
The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club
Goat sacrifice. Eeeeexcellent. Curry all around!
(Methinks I should have had lunch today…)
John, goats and mountain dews will get you nowhere. You need taquitos and white russians
At some risk of sounding “helpy” I’d note that WP-Supercache requires you to use “fancy” permalinks (essentially, enabling the mod_rewrite rules). You appear to have opted to *not* do custom permalinks, and so may not have mod_rewrite enabled, ergo no static files created, etc.
If you haven’t looked into custom permalinks, you’ll find them under Settings / Permalinks in the section, Custom Permalink Structure. (I run three WordPress blogs, and find the “Month and name” URL format is a pretty good way to go.)
What?!? Why is it that it’s the goats that always get sacrificed? What ever happened to nubile virgins?
Nubile virgins are much more expensive to buy.
I had like 10 people visit my myspace page the same day once – I didn’t need any caching. You need to step up to the big leagues- someday you might get 10 people in one day too.
For a fee I’ll come over and teach you my secretes to being 1337.
Though if you don’t get some flashing gifs and midi files on this beotch – I don’t think you ever need to worry about coming anywhere close to that kind of traffic like I can draw.
Well, blah. I’m sorry WP-Supercache was no worky for you. Any idea what might have changed in the last week or so that’s made the site draggy?
@ #2 Seth
One of the cleverest quips I’ve seen in a comments area. “Rams are for cache.” Too rich. (Okay. I didn’t get the first part ’cause I’m not that technical-savvy, but who cares?)
For once I am with Chang, Who Is Not Chang… John, you just showed us pictures of the kitten goddess debugging USB cables. Put the Magnificent She on the case and your problems will be solved. Geesh, does the Whatever Hive Mind have to solve all your problems? We came here to be entertained.
Everyone knows that the moon phase was totally wrong for a sacrifice. Just call the dwarves who manage your server and have them add a couple extra bogon absorbers to the server farm.
No, no, no. You sacrifice the goat and drink the Dew, sprinkling an offering of it around the server as you chant your incantation.
Although once when I had a particularly recalcitrant server, I fed a two-liter bottle of Dew to the goat.
JimR is partly right about the Cheetos. I made the mistake of sharing a jumbo bag of them with my goat and later learned it’s only well-aged vending machine Cheetos that do the trick.
I shouldn’t have to warn you, but Diet/Caffiene Free Mountain Dew is feckless. Don’t offend the gods.
Come on, everyone knows you have to tie the installation CDs to an inverted cross in your back yard under a full moon and dance around them naked until they gain the ability to…cache things. Or something. It’s in the README.TXT file.
I think you need to sacrifice something that *means* something to you.
Pour out a case of Coke Zero.
That should do it.
When I tried to open this post I got an Internal Server Error.
I think this is what you hi-falutin literary types call “irony”.
Also, you can’t use Mountain Dew. You must use Code Red.
Both WP-cache and WP-supercache will invalidate the cache file for a particular page when it’s updated by comments (also updated by the author).
A site with a high number of comments isn’t going to be caching very often with either.