To Staunch The Flood of E-Mail

Yes, I know about Sarah Palin’s private e-mail being hacked. You don’t have to send it to me anymore. Thanks, though. I also know about that e-mail from that lady from her hometown. God forbid there should ever be anything involving Sarah Palin and bacon, I might max out my GMail account in a single day.

34 Comments on “To Staunch The Flood of E-Mail”

  1. I heard somewhere that someone saw Sarah Palin reading Old Man’s War while eating bacon on the PLANET of Pluto. And I think she had a cat with her.

  2. I am saddened to see someone hack into anyone’s e-mail and post the results, including e-mails and addresses, on the webs. But… given that there has been some discussion of using private e-mail addresses to do public business, thus skirting some of the documentation laws, I suppose it was inevitable that someone would try.

    Dr. Phil

  3. I also know about that e-mail from that lady from her hometown.

    Yeah, let’s just stop passing that Anne Killkenny letter around, shall we? I happen to know the woman (nothing unique here, Wasilla is a small town, everybody knows her) and she’s a spitefully vindictive busybody. I doubt she’s missed a town council, PTA, school board, PAC, or any other meeting of any kind for the last fifteen years. You need to be careful having a conversation in the supermarket, least she stand behind you and take notes. She’s the kind of person who keeps records of who comes and goes and who’s sleeping with who – and she’s convinced the whole world is out to get her personally.

    So, the letter. She’s entitled to her opinion – and that’s all the letter is – but seriously, folks consider the source and stop passing the thing around. Her head is big enough without the sudden viral fame and she’s certainly nobody’s “Patriotic American Hero for saying it like it is.”

    Thanks for the platform, John.

  4. I am suddenly, maliciously, inclined to see if I can get to where Sarah Palin is and ask her to hold up a slab of bacon for a picture.

    I won’t, and I wouldn’t, but the urge was there.

  5. God forbid there should ever be anything involving Sarah Palin and bacon


    BakeSpace had originally posted a recipe for Sarah Palin’s Alaska Crab Wrap which included bacon, but it appears to be down at the moment. Another coverup?

    Endless Summer comments: “On the slightly more believable front, Cakespace is running with “Sarah Palin’s Alaskan Crab Wrap,” which I must declare sounds delicious, but then again, so do most things that combine crab and bacon. But ripe, diced brie? Could this red-blooded conservative really be a lover of such a lefty, Francophile, elitist ingredient? Now I don’t know what to believe.”

    Finally, Sarah Palin brings home the bacon.

  6. man, you have work to do. The Whatever isn’t even on the top page of ‘Sarah Palin Bacon’ google searches.

  7. I’m sure Sarah Palin enjoys bacon and cheese on her mooseburgers. After all, the bacon cheeseburger is America’s holy food. Uncle Sam should hand them out to converts to democracy, the way the Pope hands out communion wafers.

    Damn it, now I’m hungry. :-)

  8. I think we would all have better luck emailing Tina Fey and asking her to please dress up as Palin again and talk about the wonders of MooseBacon. She just might do it…

  9. Hey now, I eat moose burger and moose stew. And caribou steak too. And I make Irish stew with Dall Sheep meat. And fresh wild salmon on the grill.

    Just because you lower 48ers have a pre-packaged supermarket menu doesn’t mean we Alaskans have to have one as well. Trust me, when you have to fight for your dinner, it just tastes that much better.

    Besides, try to imagine the expressions around the state dinner table if Palin makes it into the VP char – Kodiak Brown bear chili and yukon gold potatoes in tinfoil done on an alderwood campfire in the Rose Garden. And the formal ball afterwards, with Palin in her good waders…

    Biden? He’ll probably just pick up Chicken in a bucket for everybody.


  10. jim @ 17

    Biden? He’s a Pennsylvania working-class fella, so it might be scrapple, watermelon pickle, apple butter, and shoofly pie. Or maybe he’s adopted Maryland cuisine and we’ll all get crabcakes and beer. Either way, I’m happy.

    Your irish stew sounds pretty good.

  11. If someone has the low morality to hack someone else’s e-mail account, they also have the low morality to change it. Nothing “demonstrated” by the hacker can be trusted as authentic.

  12. Ah but what will you do to staunch the flow of email from pedants who insist that it’s stanch, not staunch?

  13. Jim, you guys HAVE to eat a lot of moose and caribou. Last time I was up in Alaska visiting my in-laws, lettuce was $7 a head. Your elite wealthy class probably shows off its money by going to frou-frou restaurants and ordering a side of steamed fresh veggies.

  14. [carelessly scanning teh Interweb stuff while computing and reading the E-mails on my McainBerry…]

    OMG, John Scalzi is taping bacon to a naked Sarah Palin while she reads e-mail, and will be publishing pictures of it on Whatever to boost his GMail account activity! The bacon-bra picture is really the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate?

    Yeah. Right.

    Jack Tingle

  15. This could be fun – I’m sure the Secret Service is going to be very interested in the IP logs that Yahoo keeps. If the guys doing the hacking weren’t very careful they could be looking at a stay in Federal pound me in the @$$ prison.

  16. @22: Well, I live in the MatSu, land of hundred pound cabbages, so produce is pretty good here in the summer. Winter, well, yeah $7 lettuce.

    @25: I have eaten seal, when I lived in Iceland. And muktak (whale blubber) here in Alaska.

    For what it’s worth, I’ve also eaten raw rabbit and frozen grubs (like frozen mandarin orange slices, yeah, now it’s in your brain) in winter survival school, pigeon pie and goat stew in Morocco, and monkey brain in Tunisia, and some weird unidentifiable meat on a stick in France which may or may not have been domestic house cat.

    All of which are preferable to MRE’s :)

  17. @ 26 Jim Wright wrote many vile things

    All of which are preferable to MRE’s :)

    As a hurricane evacuee, I must agree.

    An MRE is sufficient, but is only such. Asking me to complain about MRE is like asking me to speak ill of the dead.

  18. Say, Mr. Scalzi, where’s your extended and eloquent rant about the latest example of blatant and malicious disregard for the truth by one of the candidates in the presidential race? Does it seem to you that an ad like that “sees the American voter as deserving lies, lots of lies, repeated as often as necessary to win”?

  19. Quite obviously, I want all the candidates to tell the truth about their and the other candidate’s positions.

  20. @21: “stanch” may be more MLA, but “staunch” is more Middle English. It’s a style thing, mainly. I like the latter mostly because of how I pronounce it.

  21. The Boss #30 – but you’ll be very surprised if they do.

    Of course, I expect Gov Palin wants to make the missionary position compulsory.

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