Monthly Archives: October 2008
Election List X: Some of The Horrible Things That Will Happen To You If You Don’t Vote
Posted on October 31, 2008 100 Comments
This is all true. Election List X: Some of The Horrible Things That Will Happen To You If You Don’t Vote 1. Your penis will fall off. If you are a woman, you will grow a penis, which will then fall off. 2. Your peers will point and laugh at you more than they already […]
Election List IX: The Rationales Each Party Will Give If They Lose The Election
Posted on October 31, 2008 31 Comments
Because it’s important to have an excuse. Election List IX: The Rationales Each Party Will Give If They Lose The Election Republicans: 1. The black vote 2. Also, the youth vote 3. And the elderly 4. And the hispanics 5. And the gays and lesbians 6. And the women 7. And the early voters 8. […]
Election List VIII: Instances of “[Name] the [Occupation]” That Have Yet to Be Used By McCain or Palin
Posted on October 31, 2008 52 Comments
This goes out to all the plumbers named Joe out there. I love you, man. Election List VIII: Instances of “[Name] the [Occupation]” That Have Yet to Be Used By McCain or Palin 1. Brad the Milkman 2. Sid the Deli Owner 3. Bryan the Surly Indie Music Store Clerk 4. Kim the Overnight Wal-Mart […]
Election List VII: Bombshells the McCain Campaign Has Yet to Drop About Barack Obama
Posted on October 31, 2008 38 Comments
Once these get out, the electoral map will run red! Election List VII: Bombshells the McCain Campaign Has Yet to Drop About Barack Obama 1. Obama actually 63% black, not 50/50 as previously reported 2. Has not only started measuring the White House drapes, but has already sent them out to be dry cleaned (“to […]
Election List VI: The Contents of the Republican Poll-Watching Kit
Posted on October 31, 2008 12 Comments
It’s more compact than the Democrat one. Election List VI: The Contents of the Republican Poll-Watching Kit 1. A fifth of gin 2. Ambien 3. Sleep mask
Election List V: The Contents of the Democratic Poll-Watching Kit
Posted on October 31, 2008 23 Comments
For when the Democrats freak out as the polls inevitably tighten. Election List V: The Contents of the Democratic Poll-Watching Kit 1. Mr. Snuggles, the cuddly Democrat plush bear 2. A dime bag of skunkweed 3. An iPod Nano preloaded with Coltrane, James Taylor and Will.i.am’s “Yes We Can” video; also, Peggle 4. John McCain […]
Election List IV: The Things I Think About As I Stare At This Picture of Joe Biden
Posted on October 31, 2008 31 Comments
Because I guess I have to write something about him, too. Election List IV: The Things I Think About As I Stare At This Picture of Joe Biden 1. It looks like doll hair. 2. Men shouldn’t botox. 3. I bet Hillary’s still really pissed. 4. I think I drove through Delaware once. 5. Yeah, […]
Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter
Posted on October 31, 2008 25 Comments
It’s quite a list. Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter 1. Wolves 2. Coyotes 3. Arctic foxes 4. Deer 5. Giraffes 6. Tortoises 7. Dolphins 8. Salmon 9. Katie Couric 10. That son of a bitch that divorced her sister 11. Kittens 12. Whoever made that Photoshopped […]
Election List II: The Verified Miracles of St. Obama
Posted on October 31, 2008 22 Comments
Because he’s not just a presidential candidate! Election List II: The Verified Miracles of St. Obama 1. Restored Joe Biden’s hairline 2. Not only heals the sick but springs for their co-pay 3. Loaves and fishes for every family making less than $200,000 4. Smells intensely and deliciously of butterscotch 5. Offers hope, and also, […]
Election List I: People/Things I Would Vote For President Before I Would Vote For John McCain
Posted on October 31, 2008 73 Comments
You know, for the last two weeks I’ve been trying to write a long, cogent piece about who I’m voting for and why, but every time I try I am filled with inchoate rage and just want to kick a puppy or someone who voted for Nader in 2000. So instead I’m going to write […]
Today’s Terrifying Idea Involving Me That I Didn’t Come Up With
Posted on October 30, 2008 62 Comments
It awaits you here. Before you ask, the answer is “no.” Seriously, no. Stop asking.
And Now, A Discussion of Constitutional Import
Posted on October 30, 2008 66 Comments
Today’s discussions on state constitutional amendments reminds me that one of the things that frustrates me is that so many state constitutions — i.e., so many foundational documents of state legal systems — are so easily amended. One of the great strengths of the US Constitution to my mind is that it’s so difficult to […]
Something Worth Noting, Re: People Who Vote For Prop 8
Posted on October 30, 2008 194 Comments
In the comment thread to the previous post, I said the following: Bear in mind that while I think Prop 8 is hateful, bigoted and wrong, I believe that lots of people who don’t see themselves as hateful and bigoted can see themselves voting for it because they think it’s the right thing to do. […]
What? Prop 8 Threatens Existing Marriages? You Don’t Say
Posted on October 30, 2008 232 Comments
The Los Angeles Times catches up with a something I’ve been noting, like, oh, forever: That if California’s Proposition 8 passes, the thousands of already-married same sex couples will find their marriages thrown into legal limbo, because Prop 8 outlaws California’s recognition of same-sex marriages, and doesn’t make provision for already-existing marriages. Here’s one little […]
Me in Other Places
Posted on October 30, 2008 19 Comments
Because I know you love following links to other places online where I’m talking about stuff, here’s two, from yesterday: * Over at SF Signal, I am one of many responding to the question “Is Science Fiction Responsible for the Lack of Public Interest in Space Exploration?” Because Buzz Aldrin says we are. And Buzz […]
Vote! For, Uh, B-Movies
Posted on October 30, 2008
A couple of weeks ago on the AMC site, I asked people to nominate some of their favorite science fiction b-movies for an SF B-Movie Hall of Fame. I got over 100 comments, and from those comments I’ve selected 10 finalists. Now it’s your turn to vote which two of the finalists go on to […]
Passing on a Note From Justine Larbalestier
Posted on October 29, 2008 22 Comments
Since I know there’s some overlap between readers here and readers of Justine Larbalestier’s blog, a quick note on her behalf: Her site is currently down because of a dispute she’s having with her ISP. You don’t need to send her e-mail about the site being down; she knows. Also, she’s open to suggestion for […]
Why You Need an Agent, Foreign Edition
Posted on October 29, 2008 27 Comments
What you see before you, in no particular order, are the UK contract for Zoe’s Tale, the German contract for Zoe, the Portuguese contract for Old Man’s War, and the Japanese contract for The Last Colony. Combined, these contracts have a value worth slightly more than what I made working at a newspaper the first […]
The Very Definition of “All Hat, No Cattle”
Posted on October 28, 2008 43 Comments
It’s here: I could explain why it was I was wearing such a hat, but, honestly, now, would the truth actually be more interesting than the various reasons you might imagine? I say no. Suffice to say, it’s not my usual attire. Neither is the suit, come to think of it. The lovely lady in […]
Athena Trying Very Hard Not to Be Impressed By Niagara Falls
Posted on October 28, 2008 31 Comments
“Hey, I spilled some water from a great height just yesterday! Why should this impress me?” It was actually the first time I’d been to the falls as well. Personally, I thought they were fairly impressive. Also, am in no great rush to go over them, in a barrel or otherwise.
Whatever Everyone Else is Saying