Things That Are Generally a Young Person’s Game
Posted on October 11, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 49 Comments
They are:
1. Gymnastics
2. Higher order mathematics
3. Consuming an entire funnel cake from the local fair without going into a complete grease overdose.
Guess which one of these I just tried to do.
Did you have Krissy take pix of you on the parallel bars?
I don’t think anyone really wants to see that, do you?
I’d pay to see that.
Well, you’re still blogging. You haven’t, at least, succumbed to grease overdose. So there’s that.
Although to be honest, parallel bars aren’t my favorite. How about high bar, Meester Scalzi?
Methinks funnel cake, like cotton candy, is meant to be shared.
Are you stuck between dimensions? Again?
Oh, wait, it was the balance beam, wasn’t it?
At least the last funnel cake I consumed solo…and lived to tell about it…was during the American Cancer Society’s all nighter Relay for Life event.
Needed the sugar and calories to stay awake!
1. Gymnastics — it is to laugh. At your age, and in your physical condition, you would break at least 4 major bones in the first attempt. That isn’t only a young person’s game, but limited to a very fit young person who has been training since age 5.
2. Higher order mathematics. I don’t agree that it is only a young man’s game, but it just doesn’t seem like you.
3. Funnel cake — ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! That’s got to be it. Did they serve bacon with it? Ihop used to do that.
Not trapped between dimensions so much as between _sizes._
mmm, funnel cake.
Try all three at once – c’mon, you know you want to
Next time, come to Marin County. I am pretty sure all our funnel cakes are made from organic whole grains that were harvested by fair-trade wheat collectives, and are misted with non-GMO olive oils before being baked in a wood-fired oven, so they’re not as leaden on the tummy. On the downside I suspect they cost $35 a pop.
Nice job on that alternate and more elegant solution of Fermat’s Last Theorem :-)
Thank god I am allergic to gluten. It has saved me from myself so many times!
Put.the.calculus.down.
You did gymnastics? wow!
Actually, I did. When I was, like, ten.
There’s the xkcd version of higher math from Friday. . .
http://xkcd.com/487/
Of course, that might count as gymnastics.
Epic Fail!
If you cannot eat one whole funnel cake.
Only time you generally find those treats is at the fairs so you have to eat it all. Sharing???? Bah! Let Krissy share w/ Athena.
I know when I can score one of those. One for me and one for the wife.
Now I want one. Damn you!
Oops gotta run.. Fajitas almost done cooking
Obviously, it must have been eating a funnel cake while doing a gymnastic routine that laid out a fundamental theory of mathematics that will revolutionize the entire field.
Congrats, John!
-kat
Go ahead, John. Do a calculus post here. Dean does SQL code all the time.
I know I forgot all my calculus from college (not that I ever knew it.) I think I pulled something when I tried to see if I could do a somersault about two weeks ago. And all I can say is, man, makes me glad the line at the zoo for funnel cake was way too long to stay in earlier.
You also left off any MTV “Reality” programming. Or pretty much just MTV.
/miss music videos
//feels old for saying it.
Well if you were drunk at the time, possibly all three at once? I would pay to make kcarlile watch that.
You’re on, Bozo.
Stick with the $5 ice cream cups next time.
So did Athena finish all of hers by herself?
So did Athena finish all of hers by herself?
Higher order mathematics can really mess with your head… and your GPA, if you’re me =)
Friends don’t let friends eat funnel cakes all by themselves.
Wuss.
Grease – it’s not just for musicals/movies anymore.
I think I’ll head over to In-n-Out
You mean like this?
I know funnel cakes are made with dough squeezed out of a funnel, rather than funnel-shaped, but I still had a brief mental image of you combining the funnel cake and one variety of high-order mathematics (topology)….and then turning into a Klein Bottle.
Oh yum! Now I want funnel cake!
Oooh, Klein Cakes. Can’t hold their grease inside, ’cause there’s no insides!
Dr. Phil
I hope you stretched first.
I’m sure there’s a higher level mathematical equation for determining the most efficient gymnastic routine that recreates the intricately random form of a delectable funnel cake. Mind you, I have no idea why such a thing would be necessary, but I’m sure someone could do it. Just not me!
“As a young mathematician, your main advantage is
that you have plenty of time for research. You may not
realize it, but it is very unlikely that you will ever again
have as much time as you do at the beginning of your
career. Everybody feels that there is not enough time to
do mathematics, but as the years pass this feeling gets
more and more acute, and more and more justified.
Turning to reading, young people are at a disadvantage
when it comes to the amount of mathematics they
have read, so to compensate for this, read as much as
you can, both in your general area and in mathematics
as a whole. In your own research area, make sure
that you read many papers written by the best people.”
Excerpt from
http://press.princeton.edu/chapters/gowers/gowers_VIII_6.pdf
VIII.6 Advice to a Young Mathematician
The most important thing that a young mathematician
needs to learn is of course mathematics. However, it
can also be very valuable to learn from the experiences
of other mathematicians. The five contributors to this
article were asked to draw on their experiences of mathematical life and research, and to offer advice that they might have liked to receive when they were just setting out on their careers. (The title of this entry is a nod to Sir Peter Medawar’s well-known book, Advice to a
Young Scientist.) The resulting contributions were every
bit as interesting as we had expected; what was more
surprising was that there was remarkably little overlap
between the contributions. So here they are, five gems
intended for young mathematicians but surely destined
to be read and enjoyed by mathematicians of all ages.
As you grow older you’re supposed to progress through the sciences. You start with Advanced Mathematics and then go through Physics and Chemistry. Once you reach your dotage, you’re expected to take up Biology/Botany.
So what’s the progression with junk food? Where does the entire funnel cake fit on the age scale?
What’s worse than trying to eat a whole funnel cake? Eating a big apple fritter FIRST and THEN trying to eat funnel cake.
For your stomach’s sake, don’t do this I speak from experience.
All of the above?
Ooh! I didn’t know you guys had jalebi in America!
Now I know what to ask for when I’m feeling hypoglycaemic.
I prefer elephant ears. Although the elephants hate it when they’re really popular at fair-time.
But the grease-and-sugar load is similar, and the queasy reflux result about the same.
I sympathize.
Higher order mathematics?
To quote Haldeman (speaking of himself), “I didn’t think you wrote that kind of science fiction.”
So John, tell me, what is the area under the curve of your waist line after falling off the pommel horse?
Was looking for anyone else to say ‘jalebi’…turned out to be Charlie Stross – should have known…
Come around to India sometime, John, I’ll get you half a dozen variations on the Indian Funnel Cakes – all of them interesting. And I don’t intend to stop eating them at any age. :)
Mmmm…funnnnnnel caaaaake.
We’re takin’ the day off this Friday to go to the Texas State Fair, and that always involves an afternoon stop for a funnel cake with cold milk ;)
Oh, and the newest fried food craze at the fair this year ?
Chicken Fried Bacon. Seriously… (I think I just died and went to heaven ;)