Things That Are Generally a Young Person’s Game

They are:

1. Gymnastics

2. Higher order mathematics

3. Consuming an entire funnel cake from the local fair without going into a complete grease overdose.

Guess which one of these I just tried to do.

49 Comments on “Things That Are Generally a Young Person’s Game”

  1. Although to be honest, parallel bars aren’t my favorite. How about high bar, Meester Scalzi?

  2. Oh, wait, it was the balance beam, wasn’t it?

    At least the last funnel cake I consumed solo…and lived to tell about it…was during the American Cancer Society’s all nighter Relay for Life event.

    Needed the sugar and calories to stay awake!

  3. 1. Gymnastics — it is to laugh. At your age, and in your physical condition, you would break at least 4 major bones in the first attempt. That isn’t only a young person’s game, but limited to a very fit young person who has been training since age 5.

    2. Higher order mathematics. I don’t agree that it is only a young man’s game, but it just doesn’t seem like you.

    3. Funnel cake — ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! That’s got to be it. Did they serve bacon with it? Ihop used to do that.

  4. Next time, come to Marin County. I am pretty sure all our funnel cakes are made from organic whole grains that were harvested by fair-trade wheat collectives, and are misted with non-GMO olive oils before being baked in a wood-fired oven, so they’re not as leaden on the tummy. On the downside I suspect they cost $35 a pop.

  5. Epic Fail!

    If you cannot eat one whole funnel cake.

    Only time you generally find those treats is at the fairs so you have to eat it all. Sharing???? Bah! Let Krissy share w/ Athena.

    I know when I can score one of those. One for me and one for the wife.

    Now I want one. Damn you!

    Oops gotta run.. Fajitas almost done cooking

  6. Obviously, it must have been eating a funnel cake while doing a gymnastic routine that laid out a fundamental theory of mathematics that will revolutionize the entire field.

    Congrats, John!


  7. I know I forgot all my calculus from college (not that I ever knew it.) I think I pulled something when I tried to see if I could do a somersault about two weeks ago. And all I can say is, man, makes me glad the line at the zoo for funnel cake was way too long to stay in earlier.

    You also left off any MTV “Reality” programming. Or pretty much just MTV.

    /miss music videos
    //feels old for saying it.

  8. Higher order mathematics can really mess with your head… and your GPA, if you’re me =)

  9. I know funnel cakes are made with dough squeezed out of a funnel, rather than funnel-shaped, but I still had a brief mental image of you combining the funnel cake and one variety of high-order mathematics (topology)….and then turning into a Klein Bottle.

  10. I’m sure there’s a higher level mathematical equation for determining the most efficient gymnastic routine that recreates the intricately random form of a delectable funnel cake. Mind you, I have no idea why such a thing would be necessary, but I’m sure someone could do it. Just not me!

  11. “As a young mathematician, your main advantage is
    that you have plenty of time for research. You may not
    realize it, but it is very unlikely that you will ever again
    have as much time as you do at the beginning of your
    career. Everybody feels that there is not enough time to
    do mathematics, but as the years pass this feeling gets
    more and more acute, and more and more justified.
    Turning to reading, young people are at a disadvantage
    when it comes to the amount of mathematics they
    have read, so to compensate for this, read as much as
    you can, both in your general area and in mathematics
    as a whole. In your own research area, make sure
    that you read many papers written by the best people.”

    Excerpt from

    VIII.6 Advice to a Young Mathematician

    The most important thing that a young mathematician
    needs to learn is of course mathematics. However, it
    can also be very valuable to learn from the experiences
    of other mathematicians. The five contributors to this
    article were asked to draw on their experiences of mathematical life and research, and to offer advice that they might have liked to receive when they were just setting out on their careers. (The title of this entry is a nod to Sir Peter Medawar’s well-known book, Advice to a
    Young Scientist.) The resulting contributions were every
    bit as interesting as we had expected; what was more
    surprising was that there was remarkably little overlap
    between the contributions. So here they are, five gems
    intended for young mathematicians but surely destined
    to be read and enjoyed by mathematicians of all ages.

  12. As you grow older you’re supposed to progress through the sciences. You start with Advanced Mathematics and then go through Physics and Chemistry. Once you reach your dotage, you’re expected to take up Biology/Botany.

    So what’s the progression with junk food? Where does the entire funnel cake fit on the age scale?

  13. What’s worse than trying to eat a whole funnel cake? Eating a big apple fritter FIRST and THEN trying to eat funnel cake.

    For your stomach’s sake, don’t do this I speak from experience.

  14. I prefer elephant ears. Although the elephants hate it when they’re really popular at fair-time.

    But the grease-and-sugar load is similar, and the queasy reflux result about the same.

    I sympathize.

  15. Higher order mathematics?

    To quote Haldeman (speaking of himself), “I didn’t think you wrote that kind of science fiction.”

  16. So John, tell me, what is the area under the curve of your waist line after falling off the pommel horse?

  17. Was looking for anyone else to say ‘jalebi’…turned out to be Charlie Stross – should have known…

    Come around to India sometime, John, I’ll get you half a dozen variations on the Indian Funnel Cakes – all of them interesting. And I don’t intend to stop eating them at any age. :)

  18. Mmmm…funnnnnnel caaaaake.

    We’re takin’ the day off this Friday to go to the Texas State Fair, and that always involves an afternoon stop for a funnel cake with cold milk ;)

    Oh, and the newest fried food craze at the fair this year ?

    Chicken Fried Bacon. Seriously… (I think I just died and went to heaven ;)

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