The Most Terrifying Thing I’ve Seen Today

Really, there are no words.

Sent to me, apparently, by someone getting me back for the Ultravox video the other day. Yes, well. Talk about a disproportionate response.

76 Comments on “The Most Terrifying Thing I’ve Seen Today”

  1. You’ve obviously accrued some interest from the Ultravox thing and are being paid back… ooh boy are you being paid back

  2. ::smoke rolls across the stage::

    Ladies and gentlemen…

    ::lasers crisscross::

    …the one, the only, the amazing…


    Gob Bluth!

    ::flashpots explode::

  3. wha….

    heh heh…

    oh GOD…!!!!!

    as tears are running down my face….. and a manical laughter comes from my throat involuntarily… I CURSE YOU…

    MAy this song // act // performance slip into your mind while reading at a book signing…… or everytime you hear a kazoo…..

    oh no.. i have to watch it again…aaaauuuuggghhhhh…

    double curse you…heh heh heh….

  4. That is just what I need to see at 11:41 at night.

    The guy did put a lot of time in that. You have to give him some credit. On second thought, maybe you don’t.

  5. What’s appalling is that either the guy has worked very hard on this or he has some innate talent. He’s sort of on-beat and on-tune for most of it, and it can’t be easy to make that dorky instrument produce a recognizable tune.

    If he put his effort into playing a normal instrument, what could he manage?

  6. Now that has got to violate the Geneva Convention as well as several nuclear arms limitations treaties!

  7. That rocks! I’m still vacillating between horror and utter glee! Truly, one of the things that makes the Internet awesome.

  8. Now there’s a VP candidate with real potential – and useful too (could provide a real fanfare intro for POTUS).

  9. This is made that much funnier by the fact that someone sent me the link to that video just the other day. Now I can’t help but wonder if someone else on that email list reads your blog, and emails you stuff. Probably just a coincidence, but it makes me laugh.

  10. You know, once upon a time you had to wander the streets of a major city to find wacko street-performers doing things like that. Now you can watch them on YouTube in your jammies.

    What a fascinating modern age we live in.

  11. That is so totally awesome it belongs in Wil Wheaton’s pants.

    “I’ll see you’re Ultravox cover versions, and raise you ukelele/kazoo Europe.” And now you gotta ask yourself, “is he just bluffing, or does he really have the cards?” What’s your play, Scalzi?

  12. Not to long ago, this song came on the radio (on the all 80’s music station) and my wife asked what kind of racket was that. I then explained to her that it was a song that we had played during my years of junior high band. She then proceeded to make sure that I felt like a dinosaur. I’m not sure how she will respond to this.

  13. Wow. The guy’s giving a free gig in Edinburgh this week. That’s where I live. Do I dare attend?

  14. Jeff @ 12 (“Drunk, that’s not so bad.”): yeah, but sober it’s flat-out awesome.

    I think it’s the way he committed to it, seemingly without any self-consciousness whatsoever.

    “Venus (venus venus)”

  15. That was different. I think that a combination of autoharp and bagpipe might work better, though.

  16. Thank you for the warning. My coffee was moved FAR AWAY from the laptop before opening this.

    With the economic meltdown and the seemingly endless political season, this was just the laugh I needed.

    Next task—–email it to everyone in my address book.

  17. You know, I only listened to the first thirty or forty seconds of this song, I didn’t immediately recognize it, AND IT’S STILL STUCK IN MY HEAD.

  18. I love the tempo change at 0:32 in — having to leave the piano keyboard alone goes a long way to increasing speed. (sick grin)

    Dr. Phil

  19. That straight sucked and my brain is mad at my eyes and my eyes are mad at my click finger.

    Ultravox video should be rewarded not punished.
    This was cruel and unusual.
    God have mercy on our souls.

  20. I can only hope this leads to tribute bands comprised of Linus-like pianos, ukuleles and kazoos at Scalzi book-signing events the world over.

  21. Two blogs I keep an eye on are this and Antipope.

    There appears to be a congruent set here – and Charlie featured a certain cat/bacon incident on his blog not 2 days past. And lives in Edinburgh.

    I must stop looking for patterns………….

  22. I didn’t really think it was that bad. the kazoo / ukulele combo made for a pretty catchy sound, and the song itself has that wonderful property where no matter how horribly it’s butchered it still sounds all right.

    That probably says more about me than it does about the video, though.

  23. Terrifying? Terrifying?

    No. Tremendous. Stupendous, even.

    My only quibble: in my day he’d have had cymbals strapped to his knees and a bass drum thumping on his back. Maybe a trombone to go with the kazoo?

    But seriously: a home-built plinky/ukelele/kazoo combo is several colors of awesome.

  24. Anyone have a link to the original video? My 10 year old daughter looked over my shoulder while I was watching and wanted to know why it was funny.

  25. I was at a Bat Mitzvah yesterday and the DJ played an electro house dance remix of Don’t Stop Believing.

    John, you had to be there.

  26. John, with all of the people following your blog, you have a responsibility not to promote this kind of thing. Hundreds of thousands of people are now lying on their floors, clutching their bleeding ears, and crying to the heavens, “Why? Oh God, why? Why did JOHN SCALZI do this to me?”

  27. FU Scalzi!

    Why? Read your email! This annoyance was mine, I tell you….MINE! And not because of an Ultravox (who I adore!) payback, but because a few months ago you unblocked my memories of the *existence* of this song!

  28. Gah! This stupid song has been stuck in my head all DAY! I just caught myself whistling it, for crying out loud.

  29. Genius is a word that is thrown about too casually; yet, the real thing remains unmistakable. Rasputin was a genius, too. Let us be grateful that he is using his powers for music something other than evil blatant homicidal acts on a global scale.

    I wonder if he takes requests; love to hear his take on “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

    Note to self: Must move to Edinburgh before the property values skyrocket, about to become the coolest place on the planet…

  30. Easily the best version of Final Countdown ever. Which doesn’t commit me to liking this version, just noting its superiority to Europe’s original.

    But, okay, it is entertaining.

    I was laughing so hard watching this that people kept peeping over my cube to see if I’d finally gone completely bonkers.

  31. Where do people like that come from? Surely this guy could have gotten laid by at least 10 times if he put half the effort that he put into making this video into losing his virginity.

  32. Hit the random whatever button and got this….. Serves me right for wasting time when i gotta go to work…. Can i gouge my ears out? ROFL