A Mildly Risque But Entirely Accurate Assessment of Things in the Scalzi Household
SCENE OPENS on SCALZI HOUSEHOLD. Husband JOHN sets down his eyeglasses. Wife KRISTINE picks them up and puts them on her face.
They’re too small. Your head’s too big.
You’re actually saying that you don’t have the biggest head in the family.
Metaphorically, I do. But you’re taller and bigger than I am. Physically speaking, everything’s bigger on you. I have only one thing that’s bigger, because you don’t have one of them.
You’re talking about your penis there.
Well, sweetheart. Your penis may indeed be bigger. But I have the bigger set of balls.