OMG Totally The Best Hotel Room EVER!!!!

The room is called the “teen dream” room; it’s designed to approximate the dream room of a 14-year-old girl circa 1983 or so. The pictures on the wall include teenage Rob Lowe, C. Thomas Howell, Matt Dillon, Kristy MacNicholl… and unicorns. Athena thinks it’s just about the best thing ever. I have a slight headache.

59 Comments on “OMG Totally The Best Hotel Room EVER!!!!”

  1. Oh, and they fucked it up.

    The posters should not be in frames, but rather stuck to the wall with Scotch tape or thumbtacks. Also, it’s not nearly obsessive enough…all the posters need to feature the same guy/band/animal, or two different guys/bands/animals at the most.

    Finally, there’s no way a teenage girl circa 1983 would have a laptop with a color LCD in her bedroom.

  2. Oh, yes, I can totally see how thrilled Athena is by this room…

    I must say, though, having been a 14-year-old girl 20 year later, I find this room utterly repulsive. My room was painted blue. I called it Finding Nemo Blue, because it looked like I was in the ocean since I had stupidly asked to have the ceiling painted as well. (Wanna know what happens when you paint a room, including the ceiling, a dark color? It turns into a cave. Kind of cozy, actually.)

    Also? No celeb pictures. Wait, I take that back. I had the DVD inset from Troy of Brad Pitt looking all hot, but that was a bit later.

    You must tell us where this is. Even if it’s after you leave (you know, to avoid creepy stalker-folk), you must tell, so that I know where not to stay.

  3. The “consumed by bears” scenario is definitely out. “Consumed by unicorns”, however…

  4. Shawna (A Mediated Life) – The lovely PNW – Writer, singer, parent, fan, media maven, and general ne'er-do-well. Fierce protector of the rights of the disadvantaged and endless pontificator on subjects both ridiculous and sublime.

    Dear god. This IS my bedroom, circa 1983. I actually recognize many of those pinups, torn from Bop, 16 and Teen Beat.

    I had a huge crush on C. Thomas Howell. I must have watched The Outsiders about six dozen times.

  5. Horses. Oh, yes, horses. *MUST* have horses. Horses, boys, lilac walls…does it have a fluffy bedspread? It needs a fluffy bedspread.

  6. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me

    Sophia thinks our room at the Hilton is pretty frikking snazzy, too. Very posh, she said.

    Now the ride over to the Hilton with the racist Muslim cab driver who dropped the dime on all the Jews who got phonecalls to get the hell out of the Pentagon on 9/11? Yeah, that was not so cool.

    Will we see you for breakfast tomorrow at 8:30AM?

  7. Wow. When I was 13 (1991), my room was almost this exact color. As per Marko@7 though, my pinups were all NKOTB and not nearly so nicely organized. They did however leave very little of the pepto-bismol pink showing through.

  8. Hey, I was a five year old girl in 83 and I would have been all over the unicorns. Not so much the pink though.

    Is there any David Bowie?

  9. I was 14 in 1981 and my room looked nothing like that. I had Frazetta posters hanging on the wall. And the velvet flock panther poster with the eyes that glowed in the dark. All ordered out of a comic book, probably either House of Mystery or Wonder Woman. I also had the Beatrix Potter needlepoint mouse lady selling balloons that my mom sewed for me.

    But definitely nothing cut out of Tiger Beat. I’m pretty sure the only magazines I subscribed to at that time were Dr Who Monthly, National Geographic and The New Republic. And I’m positive The New Republic never had a Scott Baio centerfold.

  10. Is there a princess phone in the room? And what about Rick Springfield posters? There should be at least one copy of the cover of “Working Class Dog” up there…

  11. Of course, it’s been a long time since I listened to my Shaun Cassidy albums (whole days), and have thus forgotten (or blocked out) the fact that his name is spelled with a U, not a W…

  12. “OMG”?

    How anachronistic. Next thing you know they’ll be handing out a cell phone that weighs less than eight pounds.

  13. I was 13 in 1983, and I have to say it doesn’t look a thing like my bedroom.

    My walls were painted a shade halfway between neon and lime green. And although I had Garfield posters on the door, there were no posters on the walls. And definitely no pin-up magazine pictures.

    I was instead into hand sewing outfits for my Strawberry Shortcake dolls from leftover scraps of material and building furniture for them out of pieces of cardboard.

    And reading Agatha Christie. I was big into Agatha Christie in jr high and high school.

    And that about as much of those years as I care to remember.

  14. I was going to ask about Shaun Cassidy. My friend’s sister had plastered her walls with his pictures. She was a few years older, the girls around my age worshipped Rick Springfield a short time later.

    I was a ‘fan’ of Sheena Easton myself.

  15. Wow #27, we so would have been BFF! My mom saved all my SS dolls with their handmade clothes and furniture, and it’s currently in my closet waiting impatiently for my baby to grow up. I had a crib made of a green strawberry pint basket, and a bed and chairs made out of green plastic soda-pop bottles cut into cunning shapes (with cushons made out of strawberry print fabric).

  16. I’m with Michelle, it doesn’t look like my bedroom in 1983.

    I was 11 in 1983. 6th grade. No Tiger Beat for me, I had a big ol’ glow in the dark poster of the constellations on the ceiling. Maybe one unicorn or pegasus figurine. A teddy bear or two. No horses. EVER.

    Michelle, I think we we’re just nice girl geeks even back then.

  17. Obviously the reason the photo/posters are framed, and said frames screwed onto the walls, is to prevent people still living in that era from STEALING said decor as souvenirs…

  18. My first thought was — they’re definitely too straight and they’re all the same size. It needs that collage/layered look. Layered, like Kristy MacNicholl’s haircut? (grin)

    Dr. Phil

  19. ytimynona – FLORIDA – I'm a big wannabe. Wannabe a truck driver, PotUS, scientist, writer, and teacher. Well, I already am a teacher. :-)

    Ahhh, looks somewhat like my room now…
    Except that my biggest poster is the Periodic Table of the Elements. And my smaller pictures are all torn-off pages of my Harry Potter calendar. But still, close enough.

  20. Torn off calendar pictures? Heck no! The idea is to get a wall worth of calandars that have artists you like (Frazetta, Schimmel, Freas, etc.). That way you get a whole new wall each month that you still like.

  21. But… but where is the poster of the pink ballerina slippers? “Before the performance comes the practice” — and the one about letting entities go because they will come back to you, unless they hate your guts?

    I could be off by a few years…I think I was 14 in ’88. There would have been some incriminating Val-Kilmer-as-Madmartigan prints involved…

  22. John,

    I forwarded your post to my daughter, who was exactly 14 in 1983.

    Her reply – “1983 was all about DURAN DURAN…come on!!!”

    With best wishes,
    – Tom –

  23. I think I’d agree with the person who said ‘pictures should be bluetacked to the wall or pinned up’ — in one house I had an entire wall of cork tiles to facilitate this. I also think it might be a wee bit earlier than 1983. All these glossy-haired idols feel very 70s, and indeed, I was 14 in 1979. I was so proud of my collection of pictures of Slik etc, together with a small collection of rainbows and unicorns. But no photos ever got taken of my bedroom walls. We tend to take photos of the novel rather than the familiar.

    Where are the small gonk-like things and other trinkets on every flat surface?

    I’m continually surprised that my daughter doesn’t have her walls covered in tat. Don’t people do that any more? She does have my collection of Wade Whimsies prominently displayed, though.

  24. My eyeballs actually crouched back in their sockets looking at that. Really. I felt them squish in. It was like being at about five atmos pressure.


  25. Metro State Atheists – MSCD Atheists is an affiliate of The Center for Inquiry (CFI); Which is an international not-for-profit umbrella organization uniting freethinking, skeptic, secularist, atheist/agnostic, and humanist students and student organizations. Its purposes are: • To encourage freedom from superstition, irrationalism, and dogma. • To further the acceptance and application of science, reason, and critical thinking in all areas of human endeavor. • To challenge misrepresentations of non-religious convictions and lifestyles. • To create a campus community for freethinkers and skeptics. • To cultivate in ourselves — and others — a sense of responsibility to, and compassion for, humanity. • To counter all forms of religious political extremism. • To defend religious freedom and the separation of church and state. • To defend individual freedoms and civil liberties for all persons, regardless of race, sex, gender, class, creed, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and disability. • To unite freethinkers, skeptics, and humanists and consolidate campus resources to these ends. In fulfillment of its purposes, the CFI pursues various goals: • Advancing the public understanding and appreciation of science • Exposing pseudoscience • Upholding the separation of church and state in public education • Investigating claims of the paranormal • Safeguarding the freedom of expression and opposing censorship • Defending academic freedom • Challenging academic fads and orthodoxy • Debating the philosophy of science, skepticism, and theism • Stimulating meaningful dialogue among religious and nonreligious students • Exploring secular and humanist ethics • Fighting racism, sexism, ethnocentrism, and heterosexism • Constructing positive social networks for those who dissent and question <a href=""></a>
    Metro State Atheists

    Whenever someone tells me I have gigantic eyebrows I just think to myself “Rob Lowe use to be a sex symbol, so take that”. It usually makes me feel better.

  26. Where are the shelves filled with tchotchkes from Grandma, and the desk covered with books and schoolwork? Oh, over in the other corner? Okay.

    Too early for pinups of Wil Wheaton, I guess?

  27. Teen Queen room, yes?

    Anyhow, must stay there when I am in city of location with my wife and daughter. Something about ephemeral retro pop culture causes me to be twice as nostalgic.

  28. and what totally irritates me in that photo is that the photo montages are so *careful* on each wall and YET do not relate to each other at all and are instead shifted from aligning. It could have been a fun concept. But is poorly executed. The whole bed headboard wall could have been a photo montage wall. oy. Okay, gotta stop………… Hope you sleep…. lol.

  29. Ok, I’m a 14 year old girl NOW so I’m not so sure, but i have seen a movie (The Outsiders) with teenage rob Lowe (without a shirt on) and he is (was) prettty=]

  30. The room is amazing….I just wish when I went on trips as a kid with my dad the rooms we stayed in were half as interesting as that one.

    Have to agree that the pictures of multiple ‘hunks’ are a bit off as most teenage girls i’ve known obsess over only one or two guys.

    BTW I was only 5 in 83 my teenage bedroom had Robbie Williams and Tony Mortimer on its walls, mostly ripped from the pages of Smash Hits.

  31. Darn, late to the party. As a 13yo in 1983, my room was plastered in Duran Duran posters and cut-out pics from Bop and the like. As I recall, I also had a border near the ceiling of Rolling Stone covers. No unicorns though. That’s so 1980-81 (as were rainbow shirts where the rainbow ran from one arm across the chest and down the other arm).

    As another completely random 80’s aside, I’ve had “Stay gold Pony-boy. Stay gold” in my head the past few days.

  32. As it happens, I was a 14YO girl for most of 1983, and this was not how I decorated my room, or even the inside of my school locker.

    MY hot guys of 1983 were Kevin Bacon and Harrison Ford and Duncan Regehr. (Oh, Prince Blackpool…*swoon*) Geek girls always liked the older men!

    I did, however, have posters of unicorns.

  33. I was 11 in ’83 and I remember having that exact picture of Rob Lowe on the horse (not sure if it was 83 exactly). I also loved C. Thomas Howell …But my absolutely favourite boy was Ricky Schroeder. I actually wrote a fan letter to him and was giddy when his people sent back a form letter and signed (photocopied) picture.

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