Today’s Terrifying Idea Involving Me That I Didn’t Come Up With
Posted on October 30, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 62 Comments
Before you ask, the answer is “no.”
Seriously, no.
Stop asking.
Whatever
FURIOUSLY REASONABLE
WHATEVER
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, editor – AMS
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But, but, but…
Why not???
What would it take for this to happen?
Ward:
Longer days, weeks and months.
Aww, why not?
Scalzi:
Or perhaps a commission sufficient to send Athena to Harvard three times over…
But you could be the next Whedon!
Yeah, but I want to be the first Scalzi.
<Pictures an entire realm of Scalzis, of which our distinguished host is the benevolent yet occasionally cranky ruler>
Bah. You already have that…
Asimov never did it.
Heinlein never did it.
Do it for the kids!
But that would be amazing coolness, covered in awesome sauce. I stamp my tiny little fanboy foot and insist upon “John Scalzi Presents ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show 4: Magenta’s Lament'”. At your earliest convenience, of course.
Scalzi:
“Longer days, weeks and months.”
I’ll get started on slowing the rotation of Earth. Though it’s already doing that itself. Sooo…
My calculations show that today is about 4 nanoseconds longer than yesterday, so get cracking!
The reason he can’t do it is obviously that it would just be far too awesome; the world would implode from the awesomess, and that would be a dangerous thing, my friends.
Oooh, but it sounds like so much fun!!!
I was down with it until he said it was better than bacon taped to a cat. NOTHING is better than bacon taped to a cat.
@15 What if was about a bacon taped cat?
Bacon Cat: The Musical!
There must be fishnet stockings involved.
My kid will play the cello for the production. Just sayin’.
Hey, you have to do it. You owe me.
Your cousin shot my cousin
An audience participation musical would do much to settle old debts between our two families.
Well, for the last several years we’ve done Buff’ “Once More with Feeling” as a midnight sing-along.
But . . . but . . . I thought you said you loved us.
How about if someone rights a musical about all the reasons you should right a musical? Would that be incentive?
“John Scalzi Should Right a Musical: The Musical”
You must do it–and soon!
My grandmother loves musicals, and she loves your books, but she turns 91 in two weeks, so if you wait too much longer, she’ll miss it.
John, if you don’t write this, we will.
Which is more terrifying?
That is… astonishingly random. 0_0
Do it for that reason alone!!
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?
Okay, we (your loyal fans) give up.
Have John Scalvi write it. I hear you know him….
eviljwinter said:
“Hey, you have to do it. You owe me.
Your cousin shot my cousin
An audience participation musical would do much to settle old debts between our two families.”
Hello, my name is eviljwinter. You killed my distant cousin. Prepare to write a musical?
My god, this is a good idea. I am astounded that you did not START WRITING immediately. Perhaps my 6 month old daughter could offer up her delightful singing voice in support. We wanted to call her Zoe but felt it had been done. I will be ready for rehearsal at your beck.
That is all.
duquesne_pdx:
He wasn’t my cousin, anyway. He was my great-great-great-great-great (or thereabouts) uncle.
It was eviljwinter @#20 what called him yer cousin… I just riffed on it…
Oh, I know. Just clarifying.
Not a Western musical, a Bollywood musical. Hrithik Roshan can play John Scalzi.
If you weally weally wuved us you would. ::puppy dog eyes::
(Good grief, I turned into a 6 year old.)
And an irritating one at that.
This musical you are writing, what sort of musical will it be? When will it be complete?
I’m in the midst of a collaborative writing of a musical parody right now. I’m more or less just the typist with occasional opportunities to contribute.
I’d love it if Scalzi did a musical that we could perform at http://www.parsec-sff.org/confluence .
If King can do Brothers of Darkland, or whatever it’s called with Mellencamp….
Of course, it could turn out to as good as Carrie: The Musical.
And let’s not forget that TRHPS was not _written_ to be audience participation: it just happened. Attempts to make it happen on purpose since have been miserable.
I thought this was going to be about slashfic.
John Scalvi would have said yes.
You are not John Scalvi.
Omigod yes. I’ll contribute.. ummm… I’ve got five bucks and some pennies.
So I can assume there will be no “The Bacon Horror Dog and Cat Show” in the near future?
How about Burma Shave jingles or limericks?
@44
Burma Shave limericks, hhmmmmmmm……
“He wasn’t my cousin, anyway. He was my great-great-great-great-great (or thereabouts) uncle.”
OK, OK! Your relative shot my relative.
Happy?
Yes! Yes! Scalzi musical for Confluence!
We in Australia have hero dogs that resuce (and indeed rescue) kittens –> http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27381659/
We have bird eating spiders –> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/earth/2008/10/22/easpider122.xml
What we don’t have is enough musicals.
What the hell (we take a robust view of the language when we dont get what we want)…. Musical ? You ?
I laugh. They laugh. The ENTIRE planet laughs at the thought of YOU writing a musical. That noise you hear is the entire planet shaking with laughter. At least, those bits of it between Australia and where-ever non musical people named Scalzi live.
I bet you couldn’t write a musical if you tried.
You don’t want to do a musical. You want to do a rock opera!
You’re probably tone deaf anyway
C’mon, John, you know you want to. All it would take would be an exclamation point. From
Old Man’s War
to
Old Man’s War!
and you’d be off and running. To a beat. I can hear the overture starting now, with an extended drum solo.
John @#3: Then I shall go posthuman, harness the power of nanotech and I shall build a gigantic Dyson Magnet around the planet and slow that bitch down.
I can’t think of a better reason to, y’know, upload myself, subvert every piece of computing equipment on the planet and horribly, horribly fuck with the planet.
I NEED THAT MUSICAL. NOW.
If by any chance you do end up writing a musical, can I sing in it? ;)
Not saying that you should, but you know, if you do, which you said you won’t, but just in case.
Err….
I gotta cover all mah bases!
OMW, the Musical!
Yes, yes, yes! Combat, after all, is a form of dance. The mundanes would know you for something other than dead porcine strips adhered to a live feline!
Your lips and fingers say no, baby, but your eyes say…ok, maybe your eyes say ‘no’ too. But I think this could be a real boost to tourism in Ohio. I mean, what else does Ohio have going for it? Don’t you owe it to your (adopted?) state?? Think of the children!
I want the chorus of dancing Brainpals(tm)!
Oh my. Note to self – do NOT read Whatever over lunch. Serious choking hazard. Oh, this will prompt random snickering all day…..
Oh, boy. He got you GOOD, dude.
Sigh, and I just watched Rocky Horror last night, wondering just how Tim Curry managed to be so believable. And Meat Loaf – I forgot Meat was in that.
Lauretta
PS Somehow this reminds me of “Springtime for Hitler”
I was thinking of Ma Ma Mia; the troopers leaping out of the sea, dancing down the dock, all greenness, and then jumping back into the sea. Or flying away, if there was a larger wire-fu budget.
Personally, I was hoping for a combat scene a la West Side Story’s classic Jets versus Sharks battle!
“I mean, what else does Ohio have going for it?”
Other than the whole Wright Brothers thing, not much that i can think of.
Can’t you use the interpretive dance and aria from your live appearances as starting places?
I heard that you would write anything, for enough money.
Name your price. How much would the internet have to collect to make you write this?