Daily Archives: October 31, 2008

Election List VII: Bombshells the McCain Campaign Has Yet to Drop About Barack Obama

Once these get out, the electoral map will run red! Election List VII: Bombshells the McCain Campaign Has Yet to Drop About Barack Obama 1. Obama actually 63% black, not 50/50 as previously reported 2. Has not only started measuring the White House drapes, but has already sent them out to be dry cleaned (“to […]

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Election List V: The Contents of the Democratic Poll-Watching Kit

For when the Democrats freak out as the polls inevitably tighten. Election List V: The Contents of the Democratic Poll-Watching Kit 1. Mr. Snuggles, the cuddly Democrat plush bear 2. A dime bag of skunkweed 3. An iPod Nano preloaded with Coltrane, James Taylor and Will.i.am’s “Yes We Can” video; also, Peggle 4. John McCain […]

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Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter

It’s quite a list. Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter 1. Wolves 2. Coyotes 3. Arctic foxes 4. Deer 5. Giraffes 6. Tortoises 7. Dolphins 8. Salmon 9. Katie Couric 10. That son of a bitch that divorced her sister 11. Kittens 12. Whoever made that Photoshopped […]

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Election List II: The Verified Miracles of St. Obama

Because he’s not just a presidential candidate! Election List II: The Verified Miracles of St. Obama 1. Restored Joe Biden’s hairline 2. Not only heals the sick but springs for their co-pay 3. Loaves and fishes for every family making less than $200,000 4. Smells intensely and deliciously of butterscotch 5. Offers hope, and also, […]

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