Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter

It’s quite a list.

Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter

1. Wolves

2. Coyotes

3. Arctic foxes

4. Deer

5. Giraffes

6. Tortoises

7. Dolphins

8. Salmon

9. Katie Couric

10. That son of a bitch that divorced her sister

11. Kittens

12. Whoever made that Photoshopped picture of her in a bikini, holding a rifle

13. Owls

14. Baby seals

15. Tina Fey

16. Andrew Sullivan

17. Levi (note to self: Only wound)

18. Donkeys

19. Elephants

20. John McCain

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

25 replies on “Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter”

Hey, you left out some of the really obvious Alaska ones (beyond Levi and McCain)

Musk Oxen
Ted Stevens
Randy Ruedrich
Lyda Green
Rachel Maddow
Andrew Halcro

I was at a dinner tonight where a lifelong Republican called our governor a lightweight and said she wanted to vote for Nader, because she won’t vote for a McCain/Palin ticket and can’t bring herself to vote for Obama. Ouch…

— You guys oughtta make me vice president!
— Why should we make you vice president?
— ‘Cause I’m so goddamn awesome. I got over a hundred and fifty confirmed kills. That ain’t no shit, either.
— Any women? Or children?
— Yeah, some.
— How can you shoot women and children?
— Simple! You just don’t lead ’em as much! Ain’t war hell? You betcha!

Only thing I’d subtract from the list is Tina Fey. Palin apparently offered to have her daughter Bristol babysit for Tina Fey, so if Palin shot Tina Fey, then Bristol is going to have to babysit for about 18 years.

Oh, and you have to add Don Young.

The idea of Palin shooting a kitten makes me frown, but for some reason the idea of her shooting an owl makes me want to burst into tears.

They can FLIP THEIR HEADS NEARLY UPSIDE-DOWN! Why would you want to shoot one? Come on, Sarah, think of the owlets!

Palin’s a good looking woman, but I think looks alone aren’t really enough to qualify you as the leader of the free world. An a non-american, I’m glad that the republicans got beat, I have no real issue with McCain, but god forbid something should happen to him and Palin ends up the most powerful person on the planet!

Comments are closed.

Exit mobile version