Two Photos of Interest from LosCon

Both once again courtesy of Tom Suter:

Look! It’s Bacon Cat! In anthropomorphic form! You can’t see it well here, but this young lady’s nametag actually says “Fluffy.” I was deepy amused.

And here is Wil Wheaton and me, posing with the infamous “Velvet Wesley,” which as you’ll recall I had commissioned. It was quite literally the centerpiece of our Wil & Scalzi Happy Fun Time Hour, which, I assure you, you are very sad to have missed.

Yes, we are having fun at LosCon. Why do you ask?

Also: When I get back to Ohio, I’m going on a friggin’ diet, because this middle aged pear-shape crap has got to stop. That said, I have at least two more Double-Doubles to get through before that happens. But after that comes the diet. I swear.


In Case You Were Wondering if That In-N-Out Caddy Thing is Real

I mentioned that LosCon was committed to providing me In-N-Out Double-Doubles on demand, and look! Here’s the nerve center of the “Feed John Scalzi Tasty Burgers” effort. And look! There’s me with a Double-Double! It works! Bwa ha ha hah ha! Life is good.

Having a fine time at LosCon so far, as you can see. Hope your weekend is similarly good.

(Photo courtesy of Tom Suter)


Off to Work

LosCon is about to start, so now posting will be even more sporadic than it was earlier this week. But, you know. You could always come here and catch the live show.


The Obligatory Black Friday Commerce Message, or A Reminder About Getting Signed Books

Remember, folks, a signed, personalized book from John Scalzi is just the thing to bring happiness to all the people on whom you wish to spend money this holiday season. I mean, they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Here’s how to get them. Ordering early (like, now) will make sure your signed books arrive to the right people on time. So don’t wait! Spend mad amounts of money! NOW!

We return now to our regularly scheduled programming.



So, I casually mentioned yesterday that the hotel LosCon is at doesn’t stock Coke Zero. In response, the LosCon convention runners have presented me with three twelve packs and 4 20-ounce bottles. Because they rock. This is going to be a fun convention. Or at least a heavily caffeinated one.

That said, I can’t help but notice that the hotel LosCon is at has a dearth of Ford Mustang V8s…

(Walks off, whistling)


Give Toby Some Love (and Sales)

Toby Buckell, who was recently in the hospital for heart related problems, is now back in the hospital, this time for a pulmonary embolism. Which sucks.

You know what would make him feel better? Besides not having a pulmonary embolism? You picking up his latest book, The Cole Protocol, which came out on Tuesday. Heck, buy two, they’re small.

Also drop by that link and let him know he’s in your thoughts. That would be nice, too.


A Well-Timed Class Exercise For Y’all

Because on Thanksgiving, I find it is useful to reflect on such things, you see:

What are you thankful for, this year?


A Science Fictional Thanksgiving

Yes, even on Thanksgiving Day, I have a column up on AMC — and this one, appropriately enough, is about the things I’m thankful for when it comes to science fiction movies. And yes, Darth Vader is one of those things. How could he not be? Go over and see what else I’m thankful for, and feel free to leave a comment about the things about SF that make you say “thanks,” too.


Netbooks and Google Docs

I’ve gotten a couple of questions in the last couple of days of how I’m liking my netbook and whether I am, as I suggested I would, using Google Docs as my primary word processing program. Rather than giving them each their own entry, let me bundle them up here.

The netbook: So far, I really like it. I think the size netbook I have (8.9-inch screen, a something like 80%-sized keyboard) really is about as small as I could go and actually have it usable for me on a daily basis, but in fact it is actually usable — more so than my 15-inch Toshiba, actually, since it’s a lot lighter to carry and easier to open up and get to business on. I’m not sure I would want to write a novel on it, but I have written articles (and obviously, blog posts) without any real problem at all. For what I use it for during travel (e-mail, browsing, light word processing) and at home use (basically the same thing), it does great.

The only real disadvantage to the netbook at this point is that the screen is small enough that I spend more time than usual craning my neck downward to look at it; I suspect this is a computer where I will need to take a slightly greater number of breaks to avoid neck/wrist/etc strain. This is not a bad thing. Also, I do strongly suspect that people much larger than I am at 5’8″ and of average proportions therein might find a computer of this size a little too small to be useful. But then again I’ve seen really tall people whacking away at Blackberrys, so what do I know.

Google Docs: Actually, I do use it quite a bit… for some things. Google Docs works great for when I’m doing short things that don’t require much in the way of formatting — so for example, it’s perfect for writing short short fiction or Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader pieces or my AMC column. But for things that do require formatting, like novel or novella manuscripts, it’s sort of a bust because, in fact, Google Docs don’t allow you to do anything more than rudimentary formatting (or if it does, does not allow it in a obvious fashion, which amounts to the same thing). Also, Google currently puts a cap on the size of the Google Doc files, which is less than what I need for a whole novel, so again that’s something of an issue. So, basically, I use Google Docs for short stuff, and I end up using Word or Open Office for longer, formatted stuff. It’s not a bad division of labor, especially since I write the longer pieces at my desk anyway, and so don’t need to have those documents be portable. I do occasionally post chapters of longer works into Google Docs for archival purposes, just in case my computer implodes, but that’s just one way I archive work in progress. It’s not for actual writing in that case.

And that’s where I am with portable technology today.


In Which I Reveal a Terrifying Secret

I actually prefer the taste of Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke.

Of course, I prefer Coke Zero to either, but at the moment I’m at a hotel which does not include that particular beverage among its offerings (at least not in the concierge lounge, where such carbonated beverages are provided at will — I do not say “free of charge” because their cost is included in the room charge). So when confronted with these choices, I’ve been choosing the Diet Pepsi.

I mention this so that those of you who come to LosCon this weekend will not feel shocked and dismayed when you see me wandering around with a Pepsi product and/or declare that I am not really John Scalzi at all, but instead some clever facsimile that has replaced the original, pod-like, whilst the real John Scalzi is trapped in a dank cell or is being slowly digested by alien plants, or whatever it is you may imagine in your fevered heads. Fear not; it’s really me.

Thank you for your attention.


The Horror, The Horror

Apparently a large chunk of LA’s power grid went down last night (because it rained), and the internet connectivity in my hotel is down. So I’m in the lobby of the hotel right across the street, sucking down their free lobby wifi instead. Here’s a thought — when hotels right next door have reconnected to the InterTubes, you can’t blame a momentary overnight power outage for your lack of Internet.

Anyway, can’t hide out in this lobby for too long. If I’m hard to find online today, you know the reason. Well, that and the fact I’m, you know. On vacation.



At the moment I am writing this, there are exactly 120,000 comments on Whatever.

Quick! Be 120,001! Hurry!

Big Idea

The Big Idea: Kelsey Timmerman

And now, the second part of today’s “Big Idea” two-fer, and it’s somewhat special for me, because Kelsey Timmerman, the author, is a fellow citizen of Darke County, the small agricultural Ohio county in which I live. Yes, that’s right, Darke County now has two published authors! We’re all very proud. But while I write about other worlds from Darke County, Timmerman had to leave Darke County to visit the rest of the word in order to write his book. Why? Because his clothes were made in other places all over the word — and as you might guess with a title like Where am I Wearing?, Timmerman had a curiosity about where his threads were fabricated. But the original impetus for the journey was, perhaps, a little unusual, with an emphasis on the word “little.” Here’s Timmerman to tell you more.


Herve Villechaize, or more specifically Herve Villechaize’s face, gave me my big idea.

His devilish mug, which he lent to the character Tattoo on the 70s hit Fantasy Island, was emblazoned on my favorite T-shirt. His eyes sparkled with mischief. His smile was too wide, his comb-over too perfect. “COME WITH ME TO MY,” hung over his head and “TROPICAL PARADISE,” sat just beneath his dimpled chin. I was curious where Tattoo’s tropical paradise was. I looked at the tag; it read Made in Honduras.

What if I went to the countries where my clothes were made and met the people who made them? Where was I wearing?

As someone who has never needed much of an excuse to travel anywhere, this sounded like fun, an exercise in experimental travel that would take me around the world. It was the garment equivalent of tossing a dart over my shoulder at a map and going to wherever it landed.

Off I went.

An Idea is abandoned

In Honduras, I did a lot of things that had nothing to do with my Tattoo T-shirt. I explored the jungle on the Mosquito Coast with my brother, who later contracted malaria. For a very brief moment I shared a dugout canoe with a deadly fer-de-lance. (The snake stayed in the canoe; I jumped into the river.) I taught an island-village to play baseball. I went SCUBA diving. On my very last day in Honduras I tracked down the factory that made my shirt and came face-to-face with a worker named Amilcar. I had been telling myself that this was the reason I was in Honduras, but once I had the opportunity to ask Amilcar about his life, I couldn’t do it. Part of me wanted to know what his life was like, but the other part was quite content not knowing, maybe even a little scared about what I would learn.

I left Honduras knowing very little about my Tattoo T-shirt or the workers who made it, and abandoned the idea of meeting the people who made the rest of my clothes.

An idea becomes an obsession

Events changed me. I got engaged. I bought a home. I started to become a normal American-a consumer with a mortgage, a refrigerator, and a flat-screen television. I began to settle into my American Dream, and comfortably so, I might add. But then, a pile of my favorite clothes appeared once more. My Jingle These Christmas boxers were made in Bangladesh. My all-American blue jeans were made in Cambodia. My flip-flops were made in China, and, believe it or not, my favorite pair of shorts were made right here in the USA.

I couldn’t put on a T-shirt without thinking about Amilcar and the questions I failed to ask him. I became obsessed with where my stuff was made.

I started to read books about globalization and the history of the garment industry, but they missed something. More than the forces, processes, economics, and politics of globalization, I had to know about the producers who anchored the opposite end of the chain. The lives, personalities, hopes, and dreams of the people who make our clothes were lost among the statistics.

I decided to resume my quest to meet these people. To finance it, I did perhaps the most American thing I’ve ever done-I took out a second mortgage. You see, my big idea was really expensive.

Off I went…again.

An idea is resurrected

In Bangladesh, I went undercover as an underwear buyer and spent the day with a single mom who hoped she didn’t have to send another son to Saudi Arabia to work. In Cambodia, I toured a Levi’s factory, and befriended a small dorm room where four girls slept on a wooden bed and the other four slept on the concrete floor. In China, I was berated by an American corporation’s vice president, and visited the village of a husband and wife who hadn’t seen their son in three years.

Before you start thinking that my big idea led to nothing but depressing revelations, it wasn’t like that. I made a point of not focusing on just the challenges the workers faced. We went bowling, rode a rollercoaster, played Frisbee, and just hung out with family and friends. We spent more time laughing than we did talking seriously.

Together we bridged the gap between producer and consumer.

Writing an idea

In the particular case of my book Where am I Wearing?, living the idea was as difficult and as important as writing about it. Still, tackling weighty and controversial issues such as globalization, outsourcing, labor rights, and child labor was more than a little daunting at times. I think that when people hear about the book they often think I’ll be standing on my soapbox preaching at them for 272 pages. But I didn’t want to write a book like that.

So, like my travels, I focused on the workers. Each day I sat at my desk, flipped on my digital picture frame with photos of Arifa, Nari, Ai, Mr. Li, Zhu Chun, and all of the rest, and wrote their stories. In an effort to make sense of our world, our economy, and to answer the question at the heart of my book – “Where Am I Wearing?” – I took my perspective as a consumer and melded it with theirs as a producer. The result is a story that is every bit theirs as it is mine.

What started as a random excuse to travel inspired by a 70’s pop icon on my T-shirt, became so much more.


Where Am I Wearing? Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Powell’s

Visit the book’s Web site here.

Big Idea

The Big Idea: Christopher Barzak

Perspective is a hard thing to come by, even for a writer, whose job description, if one thinks about it for a minute, is all about perspective. And so when Christopher Barzak was almost randomly offered a chance to change his perspective, he jumped at the chance — and had a series of experiences which have lead to his latest novel, The Love We Share Without Knowing. “Barzak’s perceptive writing evinces the fragile and overwhelming desire for meaning and love,” Publishers Weekly notes in its review, which suggests that Barzak indeed has gotten a new view of the world, and has succeeded in sharing it.

What was this change in perspective? Here’s Barzak to tell you all about it.


In 2004 I moved to Japan to take a job teaching English in a Japanese elementary and junior high school system. Friends from grad school had gone over several months before, and through e-mail had asked me, “Hey, what are you doing back in the States?”

I replied, “I just finished writing a novel. Other than that, not much.”

“Why don’t you come over here, then?” my friends asked.

I had always wanted to live in another culture, just to know what that would feel like, since I was a teenager. I grew up in a rural small town in Ohio, where the quality of sameness was so prevalent that my imagination became my strongest faculty; the means by which I could encounter difference. So when my friends invited me over, saying they could get me a job, after deliberating for a few days, I wrote back, “Okay, sure, why not?” After all those years of imagining a life for myself elsewhere, I figured I had better seize the chance to make that a reality.

Japan, however, had never been on my map of places I wanted to visit, let alone places I wanted to live. So I agreed with some reluctance. The fact that I had graduated with an MA in English/Creative Writing and was living in the Rustbelt City of Youngstown, Ohio where there were very few opportunities for a person with a graduate degree in English, though, aided me in making a decision to leave my home and live in a country to which I had no strong connection or desire to visit. Times were hard. Bush was president (I already speak of this in the past tense, probably unwisely). The tenor of America was harsh, unkind, divided by our own ideas of ourselves. Why not live elsewhere for a while, I figured?

So I arrived in Japan without much expectation, other than I was about to enter a strange land. What I discovered, though, on the other side, was a place where I was suddenly free of all the cultural conflicts of America. Japan certainly has its own problems, but I was now a free agent. Being a foreigner comes with many benefits. One of those benefits is a sort of freedom from participating in both one’s host culture as well as being free of the rules and regulations of one’s home culture. If you have never experienced this before, I highly recommend it.

Early on in what came to be my two-year stay in the Land of the Rising Sun, I began writing stories. At first I thought they were short stories. After the first two, though, I realized there were character overlaps, and by the time I wrote a third one, it was clear that the people I was writing about were all connected to one another, even though they themselves did not realize their own connections, the way they were influencing and affecting one another’s lives without knowing.

Soon I found myself halfway through the first draft of a novel in which I was trying to make sense of being a racial minority for the first time in my life, a foreigner in a country that had military bases full of my own country’s people living on them, how growing up with a foreign military in your own back yard must feel. I found myself writing a novel about Americans who have chosen to leave their country because of their great disappointment with it, a novel about Japanese characters who felt alienated in their own homeland for its own cultural limitations, a novel about how easy it is to feel alone in the world, whatever part of the world you may live in, for any number of reasons, but how our aloneness is the common thread that binds us together.

I found myself in Japanese art museums, staring at long folding screens, the panels of which Japanese artists have been painting with epic imagery for centuries, depicting movements in their cultural history, and wondering if a novel might not be made to emulate that visual structure. I found myself learning a new language, becoming friends with children for the first time in ages, learning how to care for young people, how to befriend someone even though we did not share a common language, how to be grateful for the amazing kindnesses perfect strangers gave to me throughout my time there, helping a foreigner in ways that I could not imagine many people in my own country, Land of Learn the Language!, performing so honorably and with such ease as the Japanese.

I found myself remembering what it is like to live in a true community. It had been a long time since I’d felt that. Because of the loss of an economic foundation in the Rustbelt, in places like Youngstown, Ohio, I’d grown up in a place where people did their best but were wary of each other, afraid that kindness would only lead to someone taking advantage of them-the curse of capitalism, to capitalize, to take advantage. Because I’d left a country behind that was so divided by our differences from one another, I found myself able to begin making a relationship with the world again, rather than trying to run away from it. I found myself smiling and happy when a Japanese person who spoke little English trying to anyway-famously saying, “Please! Enjoy!” Two words that indicate a welcoming, and a wish for a guest to make themselves at home. If you know no other words in another language, those are two of the loveliest to know.

That’s the Big Idea of my novel, The Love We Share Without Knowing. A novel is never just one big idea, though. A novel is a constellation of ideas. There are more ideas, big and small, in this book. Please! Enjoy! Please enjoy them all.


The Love We Share Without Knowing: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Powell’s

Read an excerpt of the novel here. Visit Barzak’s blog here.


My LosCon Schedule

Just a reminder that it’s not too late for you to spend your Thanksgiving weekend with me at LosCon, Los Angeles’ foremost science fiction convention, at which I am guest of honor this year. Hey, I’m more exciting than all that leftover turkey you’ll have.

For those of you who are coming, here is my schedule of panels and stuff, taken mostly from the descriptions sent along to me:

Friday 11/28, 12:00pm OPENING CEREMONIES
The Official Opening & Welcoming to the convention.  Come and hope for surprises.

There’s a time and place for everything. Or is there? Does humor have a place in modern fiction? Can there ever be too much?


Everyone talks about what has been filmed. Here is a discussion of works that haven’t been filmed but should be. What should you look for to make a good film? What won’t translate from the printed word to the visual media? Why haven’t these works been made?

Saturday 11/29, 1:45pm STYLE VS. SUBSTANCE

Is science fiction becoming too concerned about literary style at the expense of storytelling?

Saturday, 3:00pm FILMS 2008
Not for the squeamish. That describes a number of the science fiction and fantasy films that have come out this year. It also describes the reviews a number of films have received. Come hear our experts’ opinions and see how they differ from yours.

Saturday, 4:15pm Guest of Honor John Scalzi
Loscon‘s Writer Guest of Honor John Scalzi hops onto the stage for a free-wheeling Q&A session about everything and (most) anything, from his Hugo-nominated works of science fiction to his having been an in-house writer for AOLand, perhaps, even about taping bacon to a cat.

Wil Wheaton and I take to the stage and do… what? Hell if we know. We’re making this up as we go along. But we might take audience questions and suggestions.

Sunday 11/30, 12:30pm RELIGION IN SF BOOKS & MOVIES
Religion is frequently ignored in science fiction and fantasy. But sometimes it isn’t. How is it treated? Do we see standard Earth religions or all-new ones? Or ones that just think they’re all new? Some authors seem to think that, come the future, all people will just abandon their religious beliefs. Does that seem likely?

Sunday, 1:45pm AUTOGRAPHING
Need a book signed? That’s what Scalzi’s here for.

See? That’s a jam-packed schedule of wackiness. And naturally when I’m not on panels, I’ll generally be hanging about, so feel free to come up and say hello and stuff. And when you’re sick of me, there’s tons of other stuff to do, too. You can’t beat that.

See you there?


And Just Where Have I Been All Day?

Well, here’s a two word hint for you:



Away For Most of The Day

Try to find a way to carry on. I know it will be hard. But I believe in you.


Yearly on the Vigil I Will Feast My Neighbors, Strip My Sleeves and Say “These Wounds I Had on St. Yogurt’s Day”

By request, the Yogurt Wound:

Fortunately, the wound is not on my pointing hand. I could have been out of commission for weeks.


Newly Added to My List of “Things I Have Done That You Probably Haven’t”

Here it is:

“Cut myself on yogurt.”

Yes, yogurt. Not the container, the actual yogurt.

And not just cut myself. Made myself bleed.

It takes a special kind of person to cut themselves on a thixotropic food product; apparently, I am that kind of person. I don’t know how I feel about that. It’s not exactly the most manly thing I’ve ever done. On the other hand, how many others can claim such a distinction? I’m thinking not very many. Ever. So I have that going for me.


Status Stuff

A couple of things:

* This is my now obligatory “I’ve caught with all my e-mail for the last couple of weeks so if you sent me something and wanted a response but didn’t get one, send it again” notice.

* This next week is likely to see Whatever on an abbreviated schedule of some sort, on account that I have some work to catch up with, there’s a major holiday at some point in the week (I think near the end of it; I’ll have to double-check) and because at some point I am traveling to Los Angeles to do the Loscon thing. Which is to say, hey, I’ll be busy in the real world. I expect you might be too. But to help make up for it, I’m posting a Big Idea two-fer this Tuesday. Yes! Two Big Idea pieces for the price of one! And now you have a reason to live, at least through Tuesday.

Thank you for your attention. You are now free to go on with your lives.

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