Categories Uncategorized Sonic Cruelty Creeps In On Little, Tinkly, Piano-Laden Feet Post author By John Scalzi Post date December 11, 2008 50 Comments on Sonic Cruelty Creeps In On Little, Tinkly, Piano-Laden Feet Click this link for mp3-encoded audio horror. IF YOU DARE. Share: By John Scalzi I enjoy pie. View Archive → ← You Have Been Thanked, By More Than One Person → Aw, Shucks 50 replies on “Sonic Cruelty Creeps In On Little, Tinkly, Piano-Laden Feet” I think you like this more than bacon – more than Chang likes Ghlaghghee even. Just think of the horror if this had been on the soundtrack of AVP Requiem. That reminds me, I forgot to puncture my eardrums this morning. Thanks for reminding me. Goddammit, now I’m going to have that stuck in my head all day… wait, I’ll just get rid of Final Countdown with Cyndi Lauper! @Ward: Did you really have to go there? @John H: I can think of few songs with the same amount of “Oh god! Why can’t I stop hearing this song in my head!” than ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’, that combined with my not so secret love of Cyndi Lauper made it an excellent place to go. I’m confused. Maybe this would bother me if I recognized this tune, or could make out the words that the drippy saccharine singer squeaks out in a tiny mouse-voice, barely audible over the heavy-handed arrangement. So, it’s cheese. Is there something worse than that going on? Why do you have this? Why, John … why? *sobs* Fortunately, my Nouvelle Vague CD is close at hand. Nothing can get through my bossa nova version of “Dancing With Myself!” I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard the words to that song before… though we played it in 8th grade band. I like it! Like it so much that I’m listening to it again :-D For those who are obviously too young to have ever heard the original version, the video is here… I think it’s the brass (is that a French horn?) that I like so much. It’s addictive. Gee, thanks. Yes, that is Europe — bad, big-hair band from the ’80s… “or could make out the words that the drippy saccharine singer squeaks out in a tiny mouse-voice, barely audible over the heavy-handed arrangement” Exactly. If your’re going to sing, SING! Belt it out like you mean it! Otherwise, stick with the hey, heys and la, las and the instrumentals so that the listener (that’s me) doesn’t have to make strained interpolations and mad guesses at words to figure out what they heck you are going on about! Unless, of course, you *want* me to concoct some absurd thing involving light-sails and cephalopods from your no doubt touching but poorly enunciated tale of romantic heartbreak. Ohh. Interesting and evocative, until the first refrain, at which point began the horripulation. @John H: thanks for the link. That version sounds a lot more familiar =) OMG that is so unbelievably awesome! My ringtone has been the original version of that song for well over a year, now, and I can’t help but grin whenever my phone rings! Mostly out of remembered humor whenever that song was used in the show “Arrested Development,” but still… Awesome, John. Awesome. Eh, the singing’s not great, but people’ve been doing slow covers of energetic songs for a while now: see Tori Amos’ “Smells like Teen Spirit” or Alanis Morrisette’s version of “My Humps,” as a couple of the more popular ones. (And then there’s the alternate, like Goodnight Nurse’s metal cover of Kelis’ Milkshake: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SCpmv37_g4&feature=related) You’re a cruel man Scalzi, The original version of the “The Final Countdown” is bad, this it horror. The unsuspecting fool that I am, I dared to go. Still laughing, darn you. Now my mascara is all smeary. That was great. I love cover songs that do fun interpretations. However, that Space Oddity cover on that car spot that is airing right now makes me want to claw my eyes out. I must be twisted. I like this, in the way I like Tim Burton’s poetry. I hear it as more of a creepy carnival version of the song. Retaliation or antedote You make the call. My daughter loves that video, mia. So you can imagine how many times I’ve seen it by now. So it falls under retaliation then… Or have you built up an immunity? To my unending horror, I think it’s awfully cute. Help me. Offered in return: John H 11: For those who are obviously too young to have ever heard the original version Hmm, I don’t ordinarily think I’m too young to have heard the original of anything except maybe “Sumer is Icumen In.” Still, thanks for the link; it’s nice to know that the mousy singer on Scalzi’s link wasn’t slaughtering a GOOD song. I can see this is all going to end well. Maybe some Laibach to wash it all away? Here’s another remake, this of Alice Cooper’s “Poison” It’s the upbeat lalalala…lalalalalalala after the emotive phrase, “it’s…the…final…countdown” that gets to me every time. I’m clicking back to listen again. @ Michael 27: That’s the prettiest man I’ve seen since Davey Havok. Dude, where do you GET this stuff? This is like Hayseed Dixie. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mU2lJKkQ04) Lauretta Ryan; so you like alternate versions of Teen Spirit do you? Try this one Wow. Not even _The Final Countdown_ deserves that. Eh. I MUCH preferred the ukelele/kazoo/ multi-instrument-thing version. Now that guy rocked! Hey, that’s Cat Power covering Space Oddity in that Lincoln commercial. I. Love. Her. So. Diss. Her. Not. And seriously, one reason I love the Milk commercial that’s been playing constantly here in Toronto is not just that it seems to be a really good movie, but because of the cuts, the shiny, textured blue and white text, Sean Penn’s chewy and delicious New York accent, and the presence of David freakin’ Bowie’s Queen Bitch on the soundtrack. Y’know, there are things about mixing different musical styles into one. Like Apopcalyptica using string quartet instruments to play heavy metal music. Or classical Japanese musicians performing “Smoke on the Water”. This? This, however, is terrifying. I’m sorry, but considering the aural torture chamber that is Europe, this version is actually quite pleasant in it’s way…I’m just happy you’ve never had a bad word about Jeff Lynne and E.L.O….then we’ds be fightin!!!! Thanks, Stephen. That is phenomenal! @Xopher: Believe it or not, this song made it number eight on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1986 (or so says Wikipedia). Here is another wacky version: This prompted me to show my daughter the original video on youtube. She is convinced the lead singer is a girl and is lip-synching. She says – Why would a guy wear hoop earings? This is crazy. I don’t believe it. May I submit for your listening pleasure, the podcast Coverville. It is free from iTunes, and easy to find elsewhere. It is well, covers! But not just any covers, wonderful covers! Many of the hip bands the above typers refer to like Nouvelle Vague were first introduced to me through Coverville. A must in your home! Trey Oh, and I have to be the one to post this? Dammit, fine. Here. Merry Christmas. Masterthief, okay, you win! Yeesh, did you have to? While I’m glad you enjoyed the song enough to share with your readers I would appreciate it if you attributed it to coverfreak.com and provided a link so your readers could check out the other covers on my site. As a writer I’m sure you appreciate the desire to receive credit for one’s creative efforts. Thanks, Steve McI My apologies, Steve. You are of course entirely correct. I appreciate the apology. When are you going to fix that post? I’m not. Giving you a credit in the entry doesn’t fix the post, it breaks it, since the entire point of the link is that it was a surprise. This is why I obfuscated the link with a tinyurl in the entry (see for yourself). So the post is fine as it is, and I think your comment here in the thread in itself is more than enough provenance. Bear in mind that in previous entries when I linked to you where surprise was not of the essence, I gave link credit as appropriate, and will of course do so in the future, when dealing with non-surprise-intending links. Bear in mind also, I think one could make the argument that the people I should primarily be noting for their creative efforts (aside from Europe) are The Social Services, who performed the song. All that said, Cover Freak is weekly full of tasty, tasty stuff, and I encourage everyone to go there, possibly right this second. Also: This. Ah, Hellsongs. Heard them first back in 2005 or so on the radio. Their cover of “Run to the Hills” is brilliant. Comments are closed.