Escape From New York (Maybe)

Yesterday my flight out of NYC was cancelled due to high winds, which I believe is the cover story for UFO attacks or something. Nevertheless, I am about to try again to make my way out of the Big Apple. Wish me luck, and avoidance of inappropriate alien probings.

31 Comments on “Escape From New York (Maybe)”

  1. I’m sure that Snake, Cabbie, Brain, and Maggie have got your back.*

    You know, I can even kinda see you being portrayed by the late Donald Pleasence. Nothing personal…

    Travel safe and good luck.

    *I’ve had to watch that movie too many times…

  2. For some reason the RSS feed reports you saying this at 10:03AM (rather than the 5:03AM of your datestamp.)

    I find this sort of temporal dislocation highly amusing even though I know it’s actual cause. For a brief moment I envisioned you sitting at a hotel, preparing your departure announcement in advance, and it somehow escaping via some outlook-style glitch into the aether as you power down your laptop to pack it for easy escape in the morning.

  3. The winds in Boston last night were absolutely wicked.

    I’m watching the news now. A plane went down in New York state. They don’t know why. So, I’m guessing they’re just wanting to be really careful at the moment with sending out more flights.

  4. Why the “inappropriate” qualifier? Does this imply there are alien probings you class as appropriate, and as such, welcome?

  5. If you jumped into the air, held your coat out, the wind would probably take you home faster than the plane. And yes, that is going West to East (all the way around).

  6. Let me join the chorus of doubting that any alien probing should be considered appropriate. Oh sure, a few probing questions I can understand, but even sticking the tip of that mumetal probe in constitutes the height, breadth, and width of impropriety as far as I am concerned.

    And I am unanimous in this.


  7. Hope you’re not stuck in Newark. Ugh!

    JFK is pretty decent, though I was there when Terminal 1 was being rebuilt.

    Haven’t been through LaGuardia.

    Southwest will drop you off in Islip, which, despite the 30 mile train ride, I liked better than Newark or JFK. Was sort of like flying in and out of a high school with its own air hangar.

  8. Marooned in Manhattan? Are you trying to convince us this is a terrible fate? Go back downtown, eat at a fantastic restaurant and while away a few hours in a museum. Life could be much worse!

  9. I don’t see how what goes on between an alien and their human captive is any of our business to deem appropriate or not, as long as it is consensual.

  10. Y’know, considering how much trouble alien abductees have recalling their experiences, does that mean aliens use “date rape” drugs?

    That guy in the bar who acts like a “lounge lizard”? He IS a lounge lizard!

  11. I wonder at a culture that universally rejects the credibility of alien abductees as to whether their abduction actually occurred, but at the same time accepts their credibility when they say the probings were unpleasant.

  12. I dunno, I was once stranded in Tonopah, Nevada for a couple of days. I met a whole shitload of Alien Abductees – apparently Tonopah is where they hang out and wait for the mothership – and I’m pretty sure that alien anal probing is pretty much the only action most of those people are getting. And they seemed to like it.

    So, you know, John, maybe you should be open (heh, heh) to new (presumably) experiences.

    Of course, considering your itinerary, you’re much more likely to experience TSA Anal Probing… Which is a whole lot less pleasant. Or so I’m told.

  13. On the subject of alien probings, all I have to say is she was hot and didn’t mind being probed…

    Wait a minute. Did I just reveal an embarrassing moment from my days attending Star Trek conventions?


    Nothing to see here, folks. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along. Move along.

  14. No no no! The cover for UFO attacks is ‘training accident’. ‘High winds’ is the cover for extra-dimensional invasion. I hear the lobster-men of the 12th dimension managed to breach the super-dimensional electro-barrier in NYC yesterday. WHO WILL SAVE US?

  15. The probings aren’t so bad – with the anasthesia you hardly notice.

    It;s the missing time from work – unpaid – afterward that really sucks.

%d bloggers like this: