More Travel

Lopsided Cat thinks he will bar me from leaving the house by cleverly sitting on my carry-on! Foolish cat! As large as you are, I still have impressive lifting power! Which I will soon use to remove you from said carry-on. These are the trials of being a somewhat small mammal, in the grand scheme of things.

Traveling again, so try to carry on without me for the next several hours. I may be back later this afternoon, but then again, I may just blow you all off, because I’m capricious like that. You just never know. However, if you really feel you can’t live, if living is without me, there’s always my Twitter feed, which I will like update at regular intervals because, hell, I’m paying for an unlimited data package on my cell phone, I might as well use it.

Be well; see you later.

29 Comments on “More Travel”

  1. Travelling without prior permission of Lopsided Cats is an offence punishable by having a furball coughed up and deposited in a location you are sure to step during a late evening stroll. I suggest you ask for forgiveness.

  2. Assuming that is a fairly standard size piece of carry on luggage Lop really is an impressively sized cat.

  3. You misunderstand — LC is not trying to prevent your leaving the house, he’s wanting to know where you might be taking him…

  4. I figure LC stuck Zeus in the bag and was just sitting on him.

    Had to get rid of the stuff already inside but that was easy to do. Just asked Kodi to have a snack.

  5. My dog does that…but then he also will lie across a coat
    or other article of clothing I’m sure to need
    semi-immediately. Just to make the point that I’m not
    going ANYwhere without my 20 lb jack russell. Not no way,
    not no how.

    Then he gets grumpy when I remove him and don said
    article of clothing.

    I can tell I’m failing the well-trained-human test.

  6. LC’s clever backup plan was to shed many hairs in your carry-on. Said hairs will stick to your clothes, identifying you to all as owned by him.

  7. O Great Scalzi, what a wonderful thing to see Mighty Lopsided Cat after so long.

    However, you now need to move beyond acceptance of your bad photography skills to basic competence.

    While Mighty He is well-centered in the frame and adequately lit, you still fail to grasp the notion of depth of field and its importance.

    Please correct this fault immediately.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club


    Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary …

    8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary . . . .

    Day 983 of my captivity ….

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies’. I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

  9. One of my cats likes to lie down in the luggage during packing as well. He will also pee in said luggage when I return if I don’t empty it and put it away faster than he can register his displeasure at the length of my absence (he has only done it after vacations of a week or more).

  10. What IS it with cats and suitcases? I have to deal with this too every time I go out of town. I have no desire to travel with fur-covered clothes, kthx.

  11. At least, it’s not a momcat with her six little furballs squeezing into the bag at the last minutes – Don’t even think of travelling without us, human! You couldn’t be trusted to find your way back to us even with satellite tracking. Unlike us felines, of course, who navigate by mysterious ways…

  12. So, is your online entourage better or worse than the neediest, most attention-hungry, highest-maintenance girlfriend you ever had?

  13. Ah, yes, the luggage cat. My cat prefers my suitcase to any other sleeping place, scratching post, or other assorted hanging-out spot. In or on, empty or full. And yet I can never get it put away…

  14. At least he didn’t employ his innate feline mass-increasing power (the one cats employ when lying on your chest).

    You got off easy.

  15. My kids wanted me to email you to tell them they thought the cat story was hilarious, so I introduced them to the concept of the blog post comment area. Will wonders never cease?!

  16. Had a cat that used to imploy this trick to try to keep my husband from his frequent travels. When that didn’t work he started gnawing off the handles of the suitcase. It looks like something a dog the size of Kodi could do. No one who sees the damage can believe it was done by a simple house cat – they must think we own a lynx or something. Does make it extremely easy to pick out his black suitcase, though, without resorting to silly colored ribbons and straps. And no one else wants to grab onto the raggedy, slobbery-looking handle in the mistaken thought that it might be their bag.

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