Resting on Sunday
Posted on March 1, 2009 Posted by John Scalzi 22 Comments
Actually I’m not resting at all; I have tons of stuff to do. Just not here. Don’t tell God. See you all tomorrow.
Whatever
FURIOUSLY REASONABLE
WHATEVER
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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When you get back from hiding from God, riddle me this Oh Wise Scalzi, what do you think of Toyota’s i-REAL, the three-wheeled Personal Mobility vehicle? Is this the future of Blogging On Wheels? Do you want one?
Hmmm… are you sure God doesn’t read your blog?
HAHA. Proof Scalzi thinks we are all nuts and speak to imaginary spooky beings. Beings that will send you to a bad bad place if you don’t do what your told. So do as your told.
I’m spending the day communing with the powers that be by enjoying the rare SNOWFALL we’re having in Atlanta today.
The neighborhood, kids of all ages and many who have never seen snow in their lives, are all out having a (snow)ball!
More later, feel the need to go create snow critters.
SCALZI! SO, THERE YOU ARE. WORKING, EH? VERY NICE. TELL ME, MR. INDUSTRIOUS — WHAT PART OF NUMBER FOUR ON THE BIG STONE SCOREBOARD DON’T YOU “GROK?”
STAND DOWN AND HAVE SOME FUN, BOY. THAT’S AN ORDER. DON’T MAKE ME BREAK OUT THE INEFFABLE HAILFIRE OF INDISCRIMINATE SMITING.
THAT IS ALL. G OUT.
My imaginary friend is so pissed at you right now.
Time to stock up on green ink!
Hey John, Slate put up a piece yesterday saying that the bacon-trend is over. Actually, they said it “jumped the shark”, but I think the phrase “jumped the shark” has jumped the shark. People use that phrase now to mean that something has run its course, but really it meant that something got pushed too far in one specific instance (like the Fonze jumping a shark) that caused everyone to give up on it en masse. I don’t think anyone would point at any one specific thing that caused the bacon trend to end (certainly not the Bacon Explosion – I am dying to get a chance to eat one of those!). Just a general bacon weariness washing across the subconscious of society.
Anyway, I thought you would be pleased if that were true, as you have been none too subtle with your “enough with the bacon” rhetoric lately.
When you mentioned the “Scazli Rule” in your previous post, I initially assumed you meant the rule that anytime anyone posts anything on the internet about bacon, it is immediatley forwarded to John Scalzi.
Actually, the justaposition of “Scalzi” and “bacon” will never go out of style. Not if his loyal fans can help it.
Hmmm… are you sure God doesn’t read your blog?
Not on Sundays; He’s resting.
Technically, Saturday is the sabbath. What were you doing yesterday?
Re #2: You raise an interesting question in Cybertheology. The standard answers are:
Transcendant: God is outside of all cyberspace and time, before He created it, in an eternal present which is neither past nor present nor future, and reads all blogs ever made, contemplated, or imperfectly remembered.
Immanent: God is present within every blog. He sees every sparrow fall, and every blogger’s comment on that blog, being in the sparrow, the blogger, and the blog.
There are other positions on this, but these are the two main ones.
So I guess “Almighty G” up there isn’t a Roman Catholic?
Good to know.
In all seriousness, it is sort of funny that nobody can quite agree on exactly which commandments are distinct from which in the so-called set of Ten. I guess that’s the problem when you cram more than ten sentences in there…
And, to whoever “Almighty G” actually is, the above wasn’t intended as a swipe at you. You’re cool, OK?
Hey, no sweat. The ‘seventh day’ thing was really more of a suggestion than anything else. Seriously, guys… most of the stuff in that old book “I” wrote is nonsense. Stop using it as an excuse to discriminate and persecute others. Remember, I am love, not hate. Now get out there and LOVE EACH OTHER!
–God
@Mathew in Austin
I think the phrase “jumped the shark” has jumped the shark.
I believe the updated phraseology describing this tipping point of cultural relevance is now “nuked the fridge,” a la the latest installment of Indiana Jones and the Phoned-In Paycheck of Doom, Part Eleventy-Nine: Indie Owes Back Nanny-Tax.
@14: AMEN!!!
@11: God is *inside* us? Inside *me*? So *that’s* what the appendix is for …
… is appendicitis God’s punishment for sinners? Do people who’ve had their appendices removed no longer hear God?
@14: A friend of mine raised an interesting (and exceedingly blasphemous) question a while ago that I don’t have the theological chops to answer, and it’s been bugging me ever since. It is; what if Christ died not for *our* sins, but for His father’s? What if the sacrifice of His son was God’s attempt at trying to wipe clean the slate, to apologise for all the atrocities and genocides of the Old Testament?
@12: Yay, verily, it was through my hand that the Almighty G spake…eth.
Funny you should note that. I was, in fact, raised RC. But, true to type, I couldn’t remember which commandment that was. I looked it up on Wikipedia and found that Judaism, Protestantism (mostly) and Orthodox Christianity put the Sabbath clause at #4, with RC the odd man out. Since I no longer have a home team interest, I went with the majority. :-D
Ok, it’s Monday. Stop resting and dance like a monkey for our entertainment, Scalzi!
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I mean–
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Hey John, how was your weekend?
God is still miffed at you for the trip to the Creation Museum.
Tom Disch is still dead so I’m not taking this too seriously.
You’d think God would know it’s poor blog etiquette to type all caps, being omniscient and all.
still chuckling at ‘G out’.