Lopsided Cat Watches the World From the Porch

And tells those damn birds to get the hell off his lawn! Or he’ll eat them. And he will. Every single one of them. It’s that whole “predator” thing he’s got going. It’s not just a fashionable look for him. It’s a way of life.

36 Comments on “Lopsided Cat Watches the World From the Porch”

  1. Oh, please tell me that’s a little kiddie chair and not a full size adult chair. Otherwise, that cat’s going to eat Ohio.

  2. Yeah, that’s either a really small chair, or a gigantic cat.

    Do you have to use a chair and a whip to keep him in line?

  3. repeating the sentiment of those who came before me…that’s not a standard adult-sized chair is it?

    Though a normal scale chair is indeed possible; I live with a three-year old Maine Coon who’s over 25 pounds of solid muscle and fir (and quite likely part Siberian Tiger).

  4. Less of a chair and more of a throne. That’s one seriously haughty-looking cat. I pity the poor birds.

  5. Re the respective cat and chair’s size: notice the other chair partially visible at the right of the picture? I’d guess it’s an adult size chair and the white chair is a kid’s chair.

    Or maybe Scalzi’s porch has chairs for giants too?

  6. A cute pic of Lopsided Cat.

    My question for John: do you get up before 6 am every day? Because that is really early (at least from my point of view– my shift yesterday ended at 10 pm and I couldn’t get to sleep until about midnight).

  7. Gorgeous cat. It would be cool if it were a normal size chair, a giant cat to go with Kodi the bear-dog. I don’t think Chang/notChang will have any complaints about this picture. But his standards are higher than mine.

  8. O Great Scalzi, what a superb picture of Mighty Lopsided Cat.

    For a surprising and welcome change your blog post title accurately reflects reality. But naturally you proceed to screw it up by further speculating on His Motives.

    Why oh why don’t you just leave commentary up to the experts of the Executive Committee of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club?

    It is obvious to anyone with sufficient sensitivity and sophistication that He is keeping watch to prevent any disturbance of the Repose of the Beauteous Ghlaghghee. Birds are a worthless irrelevancy as is – from His Expression – the photographer.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club

  9. “Bargon wanchi kox paa Ghlaghgee!* Ho ho ho ho ho…”

    *”I will not give up my favorite decoration. I like Ghlaghgee where he is.”

  10. As an Ohio resident I can’t tell you people how secure we all feel with LC over there on the western frontier, eating birds and warning away encroaching Hoosiers.

  11. its almost as if lopsided cat went down the rabbit hole and now the cat is HUGE lol…

  12. Hey, Scalzi

    If TLC was a beer he’d be Guinness.


    The Lopsided Cat Fan Club

  13. That’s a very nice portrait, and I’m sure he tipped the photographer.

    “There is a very stupid and slow chimpunk living under the rock by the mailbox; gargle-cat is too busy plotting treason and murder to notice it, while I have been saving it for a special treat, but for such a fine photograph, please feel free to nosh on it. But if it’s still there tomorrow, all bets are off.”

    Meanwhile, why is this cat called Lopsided? It seems symmetrical from the front.

  14. @cphaurckker quoth on 17 Mar 2009 at 6:32 am: Not that the idea of a felis domesticus/Douglas Fir hybrid wouldn’t be interesting.

    Logsided Cat?

  15. Holy crap, what a huge cat! He looks like he could beat up my (overweight) 55 pound dog!

  16. I have that exact same chair! My parents got it for me when I was really little. It lived outside at my nana’s place for years, but recently she gave it back to me. Now it’s in my parents attic until I have a good place to put it.

    When it was at my place for a while, our cat loved it. Unfortunately, he also loved to scratch at it, so I suspect it wouldn’t last long if I kept it here.

  17. What I’m finding really weird about this picture is that I have a white, kid-sized wicker chair that looks exactly like that, and have pictures of my cat sitting in it. o_0

  18. That’s not a cat its a midget-lion. Seriously, you’ve got to think about the children with an animal that roaming the neighborhood.

  19. I’m sure that LC does think about the children- they’re quite delicious, you know.

  20. MasterThief @ 14 – I just love it when someone can quote Jabba the Hut in his native tongue AND translate for the groveling masses.

  21. Jeff @ 15
    I think with the appropriate poundage of bacon bribery, my fellow Hoosiers and I could cross the border with impunity. But seriously, why would we want to?

  22. Bronislaus@25 and Dave@34: Yeah, sorry about that crack. A few days ago a friend was sassing me, that he wished he could just Portal between Fort Wayne and Wheeling on his drive to New York, so I think I was just lashing out there.

  23. ohdeargodinheaven….I *have* to believe that that is a kiddie size chair, because a cat that’s almost bigger than my ass is a terrifying thing.