As you all know, I’m the guest of honor at this year’s Millennicon science fiction convention, in Cincinnati. This weekend! Where where I be and how will I be embarrassing myself while I am there? Here’s my official schedule (via the handy-dandy online pocket program):
Friday, 7pm: Opening Ceremonies. Your chance to pledge eternal fidelity! Or, well, fidelity for the following 48 hours or so. And maybe fidelity is too strong a word. It’s okay if you want to see other authors. We can have an open relationship that way. Because, you know, I’m going to be seeing other fans. I kinda have to.
Friday, 8pm: GoH Reception. Let’s make awkward, halting conversation together! Do you like cheese? I like cheese. It’s, like, cheesy. Um, okay. I understand if you have to go talk to some other people now.
Friday, 9pm: GoH Q&A. You have questions. I have answers. Let’s see if we can get them to match up.
Friday, 10pm: 9pm Cookie Party. No, I don’t know why it’s called the “9pm Cookie Party” when it takes place at 10pm. I’m just going by what they tell me in the pocket program. Also, the cookies will actually be cake. I just made that last part up. Either way, come watch me get fatter as I shove cookies and/or cake down my piehole.
Saturday, 11am: Autographing. Come get everything you want autographed autographed. By me, even.
Saturday, 2pm: Autographing. Everyone who wanted to get something autographed will have done it at the 11am autographing session. I will be sitting at this session, alone, contemplating my mortality.
Saturday, 7pm: Mixed Marriages. It’s true I’m in a mixed marriage, as my wife is HAWT, and I am distinctly of the non-hawt species. She loves me anyway. However, the “mixed marriage” in this case is the one where one of the partners is a science fiction geekwad, and the other is not. How do you make it work between a geek and a non-geek? The answer: Puppets! But I figure we’ll stretch out the answer a bit more than that, because we have an hour to fill.
Sunday, 11am: Build Your Own World. All you need is some modeling clay, some glitter, and a DNA sequencer. I’ll be bringing two out of three to the panel. Which two? You may be surprised.
Sunday, 2pm: Closing Ceremonies. Thank you so much for coming. Now leave.
When I’m not doing these things, I will be, in no particular order, hanging out in the lobby, going to a panel here and there, eating food, despairing over the inevitable heat death of the universe and my part in increasing its overall entropy, and maybe karaoke. Seriously, they have karaoke. Dude, it’s Saturday night, starts at 11, goes to 2, and I’m going to go in there and sing all I want because I’m the Guest of Honor, and who’s gonna stop me, right? So get ready for six different and increasingly maudlin versions of “Purple Rain.” It’s gonna be magic.
See you there.