Posted on March 31, 2009
Posted by John Scalzi
It’s like a Snuggie and a chestburster from Alien all in one:
Gizmodo has all the disturbing details here.
Oh man, that is so wrong.
My daughter always hated being swaddled. For kids like her, this would be a torture device as well as a disturbing piece of fashion.
“Quaid… Quaid…. Start the reactor… Free Mars!”
In truth, not necessarily a bad idea. I swear by the Baby Bjorn, which I used extensively when my daughter was 0 – 2 years old. This doesn’t seem too different, though the imagery is decidedly… Wrong.
Put in sleeves for the baby’s arms and you’ll have a perfect Kuato!
It’s like they never left the womb!
And it looks like the kid is riding a bit low for Mom’s comfort over any sort of distance.
I think I’m going to barf.
Oh man, I laughed out loud in English class.
Well, that’s going to haunt my nightmares…
I have nothing else to say.
I like a garment that breathes.
That fabric is full of so many chemicals. I can just tell by looking at it.
“Nuke it from space its the only way to make sure.” Or something like that from the Aliens movie.
Nobody show my wife this thing. I’m already floating in a mountain of onesies….
O___________________O Is all I got right now. Going to flee and hope I can get that image out of my head.
tudza – HA!
Get in touch with your inner marsupial.
“Get in my Belly!”
Wow. My little guy hated being swaddled. He even hated wraps. This…would be torture for him. And me! That looks very uncomfortable!
There are some things that, once seen, can never be unseen.
I’d damn you, Scalzi, but I think that image has enough damnation to go around.
On a tangential note: the image, combined with the name, immediately made me think of the Pokemon / Bakugan naming conventions. As in: “Peekaru! Thunderstrike!”
This is what happens when you have an 8-year-old son.
(Even more tangentially: Chrome’s built-in spell-check happily accepts “Pokemon”, but does not like “Bakugan”. I don’t know what this means, but surely it’s nothing good.)
I wanna know what happens when mom has breasts? does the poor kid get a broke neck? :P
That’s just not right…
That’s just…wrong…..so wrong….
(and jp, glad I’m not the only one who had a pokemon moment!LOL!)
(At Marvel.com; click on the cover art for a larger image)
I’m so getting this thing for my nephew. He’s going to be a new dad next month, and he’s a power lifter. Which will only make sense if you look at the link.
That is about fourteen shades of awesome! (And, yet, still a bit creepy.)
Someone needs to dissect that and see how it works–I can’t tell how the baby’s head stays in that hole without hanging itself.
This is probably because I have no children of my own, and therefore no insight into the machinations of infant transportation devices.
Kaytie, I assume there’s a Baby-Bjorn-like apparatus underneath, with this…covering on top.
Kaytie@27: Nope, it’s just what it looks like. Baby jaws are incredibly strong and weaken only as they approach school age. This is why new parents are advised to wrap furniture legs in neoprene. If you’re lucky enough to have a baby in the house during the holidays, you never want for neatly opened Walnuts or Brazils.
What scares me is that somebody at Corporate thought this was a good idea.
I wonder if the “Mom” model got combat pay for that shot?
Yup, that’s Kuato reborn.
@7 David Hill — LOL what are you doing surfing the Net in English class, you whippersnapper?
All it needs now is some bacon taped to it.
i think i saw something like this on Doctor Who.
Wow, they’ve even created a pseudo-ethnicity called “babywearer.” I actually just gagged a little typing that.
I never met a baby who would like that contraption. That must be a fake.
Persia@28 – your explanation and Google helped me visualize it. Thanks.
Jeff@29 – So with babies, I’m assuming that Apple Bitter stuff doesn’t work to protect furniture, huh?
Where’s the photo shoot of the Octo-mom version??
Kaytie@37: You’re thinking of those … whadyacallems … puppies. Babies certainly don’t prefer Bitter Apple, but will tolerate it spritzed over their Grape Nuts. Babies hate soaked Grape Nuts.
OH GAWD! That’s pretty bizarre. Cool, but bizarre. Suddenly, I’m struck by the inexplicable urge to seek one out and wear it, haha.
I was convinced this was an April Fool’s day joke, but I see it was posted the day before, so now I’m just bewildered
That is the scariest thing I have ever seen. Plus, it almost looks like child abuse. Maybe that is how we reduce the population. Anyone who buys one of those shows their lack of proper genetic material and is not allowed to have any more kids.
Wow. That looks fake and awful all wrapped up in one.
Looks like the mystic from “Total Recall”
Elsewhere in the mobile blanketing catalog, I just stumbled across this winner:
Two words: Parasitic. Twin.
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, editor/writer -AMS
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