Yes, I’ve Seen It

ThinkGeek’s April Fool’s Day product for the year: Squeez Bacon.

And yes, I received about ten e-mails about it in five minutes. You can stop sending the e-mail. More than one of the e-mail wrote something along the line of “clearly they were thinking about you.” Well, while in fact the folks at ThinkGeek and I have a bit of a mutual admiration society going on, contrary to popular opinion (here, at least) not everything involving the Internet and bacon revolves around me.

Also: Squeez Bacon is an idea simultaneously wrong, and awesome. I’m mildly surprised it doesn’t actually exist, and would not be surprised if after this, it does.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

31 replies on “Yes, I’ve Seen It”

It’s not that we think you love bacon, it’s that we want you to have a weakness. We’ve decided that bacon is a good weakness for you.

We want to stand there with a case of coke zero and a package of bacon and make you entertain us. Please let us think that it would work. :)

I just glanced at it before reading the label and said” Oh, bacon flavored ketchup” which doesn’t seem too farfetched to me. Squeeze bacon and squeeze cheese together, with or without crackers, would have been a healthy breakfast in my college days…8D

See, it would have been funnier if you had made this post a promotional plug for the amazing new product, Squeez Bacon. For example, say something like “I’ve beta tested this product, and its great!” You know, in keeping with the spirit of April Fools and all that.

Hmm… this sounds truely disgusting, too bad its not real.

On the other hand though, you can actually buy these:


Each one of these mints tastes like a delicious slice of crispy bacon with just a hint of mint flavor to give it that extra punch!

It may sound weird but once you taste it, you’ll see that mint and bacon is a match made in China. Each 2″ x 2″ tin contains one hundred mints.

The idea has been around a while. The 1991 movie The Dark Backward featured Blump’s Squeezable Bacon and Blump’s Pork Juice in a carton. That’s the only thing I remember about that movie.

How’s this for sad: my teenager (who is in full Adolescent Rebellion Mode and therefore eats pork) refused to believe that Squeez Bacon was fake when I told her it was a prank, and continued to insist right up until she put it in her ThinkGeek shopping cart and it gave her the April Fools message.

Clearly, there is an unmet consumer need. Corporate America, are you listening?

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