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Can’t Play Today

Trying to avoid death. Will post again when done. If I haven’t been murdered already.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

26 replies on “Can’t Play Today”

I think you need some inspirational singing:

*starts singing*
Dodge, dodge dogde that pesky death-thing
Write, write, write and make it well

*stops singing and runs, dodging the weapons that people throw*

I was only trying to help!

Oh John Scalzi, your hapless procrastination in the face of oncoming doom gives me hope that even someone as lazy as me can become a best-selling author.

Also, if this succeeds it may usher in a new and terrifying era of writer/publisher relations. Although they will need to tranquilize Neil Gaiman before they can fit him with the shock collar, he is a feisty one!

Christopher @15-16: He must be. He mentioned on Twitter about 9 hours ago that he was pulling his DSL line out of the wall. Everyone knows that humans can’t survive without DSL for more than 30 minutes (maybe 45 tops).

Pull the DSL cable?

But that’s just crazy talk. You can’t just go cold turkey bacon like that, the withdrawal symptoms could kill you.

Like methadone treatments for heroin, you should first shift to 56.6kbps dialup, gradually working your way down to 14.4kbps before pulling the plug – over a period of weeks is what I’m saying here.

Anything other than a controlled weaning of the highspeed internet fix and step by step detox could lead to seriously unpleasant side effects – and with Scalzi who knows what that would manifest as? Good lord, he’s probably swallowed his tongue already!

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