26 Comments on “Can’t Play Today”

1. I guess it really will kill you to have that story in on time.

2. You could be science fiction first undead writer.

3. I suppose you want cake now?

4. Soon John will be a zombie and then all he’ll want to eat is

   BRAINS

5. is this a “publish or perish” thing?

6. Oooooooo this is so exciting! I can’t wait to see what happens!

7. Yeah, I don’t know that I would sign a FINISH OR DIE contract. I mean, penalties for being late are understandable, but….

8. Type monkey-boy, type.

9. When all zombie writer wants is BRAINS, will he at least remember to amuse the rest of us by taping some to the cat and creating BRAINCAT, please?

10. I think you need some inspirational singing:

    *starts singing*
    Dodge, dodge dogde that pesky death-thing
    Write, write, write and make it well

    *stops singing and runs, dodging the weapons that people throw*

    I was only trying to help!

11. Trying. Not, you know, succeeding.

12. Will keep eye on DDN. And hope not to see you.

    @adelheid: Cake fixes everything. So do lindt truffles.

13. The Night Ranger Army has their Sister Christian ninjas ready.

14. It’s surprising how much death can motivate someone…

15. Are you dead yet….how about now?

16. How about now?

17. Death is highly over rated anyway, so don’t worry, you’re not missing anything… yet.

18. I guess I should wait this out before sending you an unsolicited copy of my latest novel to read, huh?

    RB

19. Oh John Scalzi, your hapless procrastination in the face of oncoming doom gives me hope that even someone as lazy as me can become a best-selling author.

    Also, if this succeeds it may usher in a new and terrifying era of writer/publisher relations. Although they will need to tranquilize Neil Gaiman before they can fit him with the shock collar, he is a feisty one!

20. *inky, inky teabagprints all over the shop*

21. Christopher @15-16: He must be. He mentioned on Twitter about 9 hours ago that he was pulling his DSL line out of the wall. Everyone knows that humans can’t survive without DSL for more than 30 minutes (maybe 45 tops).

22. Pull the DSL cable?

    But that’s just crazy talk. You can’t just go cold turkey bacon like that, the withdrawal symptoms could kill you.

    Like methadone treatments for heroin, you should first shift to 56.6kbps dialup, gradually working your way down to 14.4kbps before pulling the plug – over a period of weeks is what I’m saying here.

    Anything other than a controlled weaning of the highspeed internet fix and step by step detox could lead to seriously unpleasant side effects – and with Scalzi who knows what that would manifest as? Good lord, he’s probably swallowed his tongue already!

23. Everyone knows that humans can’t survive without DSL for more than 30 minutes (maybe 45 tops).

    You must be a real treat on airplanes.

24. Skyphone FTW! :D

25. You must be a real treat on airplanes.

    Do they have wireless detectors in the lavatory?

26. Hurry up! I wanna know what happens.

    Probably involved bacon. Mwahaha.