Categories Uncategorized Our Long National Nightmare is Over Post author By John Scalzi Post date April 23, 2009 25 Comments on Our Long National Nightmare is Over My new DSL modem has arrived and works just fine. Share: By John Scalzi I enjoy pie. View Archive → ← DSL Outage Day Two: The Madness Continues → Why It Matters 25 replies on “Our Long National Nightmare is Over” You owe us several posts, we are waiting. Oh, good. Welcome back. ntsc: I owe you NOTHING! And pictures of animals! Oh and since you had all of that time off is your next series done yet? Huh!!??? (ducks for cover…) You did at least finish The High Castle during the down time, right? Technopeasant today! where is the free stuff!??? Free stuff???? And there was much rejoicing. We’re glad you’re back. A lot has happened with bacon while you were gone. Welcome back, Esteemed Feeder of Ghlaghghee. Regardless of whether or not you’ve achieved anything professionally, I do hope you did something useful/enjoyable/worthwhile with your day offline, rather than just huddling in a corner shivering, hoping that the magical series of tubes will come back soon. Say you’ll keep the plain clothes, straw hat and Lincoln beard for Anticipation. Oh, how the assembled will talk! We missed you! Glory, glory, hallelujah. You put all that unwired time into more wordcount to amuse the unwashed masses, right? I picture John coming back to the Internet like that scene in Star Trek when Odo walks back into the Great Link. It’s all emotional and sappy and we’re all rooting for him and stuff. But John’s not wearing a tuxedo like Odo, he’s wearing sweats and a stained Bigfoot T-shirt. And the Great Link isn’t all golden and serene like it was on Star Trek, it’s a viscous black mire of screaming trolls and n00bs whoring their Twitter feeds. For a second John thinks of leaving the Internets forever, but then a big oily arm yanks him back in (kinda like that TOS episode where Yarr dies). Btw, no knock on your wardrobe John, that’s just how I picture it. Welcome back. And a weary nation rejoices. *does the rejoicin’ boogie* Change in connection speed – YES WE CAN! Someone do a Bacon LOLCat, “I can haz broadband?” Congrats. The ironic thing is that this week is Turnoff Week ( http://www.tvturnoff.org/ ), which got expanded from turning off TVs to turning off ‘screens’. Turnoff Week will have to pry my PC from my cold dead hands. Jeff Hentosz @10: As someone who is both plain-dressed and a clogger of the ‘tubes, I can attest that the two are in no way mutually exclusive. I don’t have a Lincoln beard, though, and I don’t think any of my plain-dressed, ‘tubes-clogging friends do either, so I can’t speak to that. Except to say that I honestly cannot picture Scalzi with such a beard. Yay, Yay, the Bandwith’s Here Let’s pet the Cats and Drink more Beer Yay, Yay, the little light is Green Yay, Yay, the Courier Delivered parts to our Corner Yay, Yay, the little light is Green Yay, Yay, the ISP Say all is Well the link is Swell Yay, Yay, the little light is Green Hey, Hey, the light is Red Oh my god, the Spam’s downloaded Sigh, Sigh, the little light is Sad… John Scalzi is still alive? Thank The FSM! I was getting ready to call FEMA. 12. inkgrrl may be unwashed, but *I* took a BATH! Yay! So tell us John, did you spend the entire 7 hours near the Library hot-spot until your wife called to tell you that your daughter misses you, and oh, the DSL Modem arrived? Don’t be silly. It was just six and a half hours. Comments are closed.