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Meanwhile, On LASER Twitter

Me: Everything is better with LASER in front of it: LASER pizza. LASER gerbil. LASER toothbrush. LASER sigmoidoscopy. Okay, maybe not that.

ElectricPaladin: But everything is also better with KUNG FU. KUNG FU pizza. KUNG FU gerbil. KUNG FU toothbrush. Does this mean that LASER = KUNG FU!?

Me: LASER does not equal KUNG FU, but put them together and it’s even better: KUNG FU LASER Pizza. Who WOULDN’T want that?

Tzinski: adding -tron to the end improves things too. Pizzatron! Gerbiltron!

Me: If you add -tron to the end, you also have to add a number. “Gerbiltron”: Meh. “Gerbiltron 3000”: LASER AWESOME.

Tewha: OMG, I don’t even know what it is but I want a Laser Gerbiltron 3000! With, you know, the preferred options. Whatever they are.

Me: Everyone wants a Gerbiltron 3000. Except the Mac people, who want the iGerbil. Which is prettier but less functional and $500 more.

Tbridge: We really want the MacGerbil Pro.

Me: Yeah, but who can afford the MacGerbil Pro in this economy? Especially with the optional LASERS?

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

51 replies on “Meanwhile, On LASER Twitter”

I resent the iGerbil reference. Not because it’s at the expense of my shiny Mac toys but because, right or wrong, it makes me think of Richard Gere. That’s just plain rwong.

Shayera- we don’t have sharks with laserbeams attached to their foreheads, but we DO have Ill-temper, Mutated Seabass with Laserbeams attached to their frickin’ foreheads with optional Kung-Fu abilities…

Will my Gerbiltron 3000 come with an optional Kung Fu Laser toothbrush?

Oh gosh. I was so excited about the KUNG FU LAZER PIZZATRON 5000 that I totally butchered my grammar in that last post. When you read it, add the word “when” inbetween “week” and “I”. [Slinks away in embarrassment]

Dan,

That’s good information, as long as you’re not trying to install Linux on your Kungfu Laser Badgertron 3000.

(Has anyone else noticed that 3000 is much cooler than 2000 or 4000?)

Also, adding an X (with or without another letter).

I remember how this silliness all started: when Ban antiperspirant became (seriously) “Ultra Ban 5000” in 1971. It had a plastichrome hemispherical cap and was heavily advertised, as well it should have been…

Sheila @37: So, who here is geek enough to know that LASER is, in fact, an acronym and what it stands for?

Large Appetite for Spun Edible Roundels. Because SERs include such cool things as pizza.

Like, duh.

Waitwaitwait…Kodi defeats the Maccabeans? With LASERS?

Sounds like a pretty weird time-travel novel.

BTW, I’ve known what LASER stood for since I was a child. In fact I think it was a fifth-grade report…back when lasers (the kids today don’t even know it was an acronym, and also they should get offa my lawn) were strictly a research-lab piece of equipment that took up a whole room.

Now…who else is geek enough to remember what ZIP stands for? As in ZIP code?

I would like to know where I can get my dog enhanced with those nifty lasers as well. I’m sure she’ll find a use for them.

“Fetch the stick? We don’t need no stinkin’ sticks!”

You’re right about the “tron”. My favorite planet name in the old Master of Orion game was Klystron…”NO Tommy! Do not put the gerbil in the klystron!”

Should’ve equipped Kodi with dual eye-beam lasers for failover capability.

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