This picture requires a bit of explanation. See, this year Wil Wheaton was one of the Guests of Honor at Penguicon, and there’s a little history there in that he’s been invited before but for various reasons was not able to make it. So I made a bet that this year, Wil would show, and if he didn’t, I would dress up like a pirate and allow Joe the Pirate King to visit all sorts of buccaneering humiliations upon me. Well, as it happens, Wil didn’t make it, and thus, I was made to dresss up in a pirate vest and hat apparently ganked from Long John Silvers, to say “arrrrrrrr” in a dejected and depressed manner, to walk the plank you see there behind me, and to suck on a lime. And so on. Hey, fair is fair.
And just in case you thought that was still not enough Pirate Humiliation, there’s this:
Yes, I was also soundly whipped by a hot woman in a pirate get-up. Oh, it was terrible. Terrible, do you hear me. You could hardly hear my screams over the sound of my wife pointing and laughing.
In all seriousness, Wil was unable to come because he was ill, and he feels awful about it, but, you know. When you’re sick, you’re sick. That his illness allowed me to indulge in some of my secret dirty S&M fantasies IN PUBLIC forced me to be whipped by hot women in pirate get-ups is neither here nor there. I think he’s feeling a little better now. And my back is almost healed! So there it is. Everybody wins.