How to Make Entrails

Mary Robinette Kowal shows you how. Because haven’t you always wanted to know?

There’s another way to make them, but it requires a willing partner plus nine months, and then there’s all this other stuff around the entrails called a “baby.” And, well. They don’t let you use those entrails. Because apparently the baby needs them. Stupid baby. Mary’s way is a heck of a lot easier.

17 Comments on “How to Make Entrails”

  1. I suppose it gives a very authentic effect, and I don’t really have a plausible substitute (except maybe Knox gelatin?), but man, that quantity of KY jelly must run into *money*.

  2. While baby farming entrails might be the second best way of making entrails, you’d also have a ready supply of braains to throw to the zombies. You have to look at the synergistic leveraging opportunities before throwing away your options.

  3. John if you keep stalking my LJ friends page before I’ve had my coffee, I’ll get so confused, I won’t know what tab I’m on for my morning read.

  4. Rather than K-Y at grocery-store prices (or even Costco prices), I bet you could get water-based lube from a vet supply store. I, uh, hear that powdered J-Lube is pretty darn cheap on a unit price basis.

  5. I’m sure any nearby Feline-Americans could provide a steady supply during the exercise of their predatory instincts.

    On the other hand, coming from rodents they’d be size XS at best, so you’d have to set up a Fresnel lens for anyone to see them, and then the Mouse Guard would show up and start asking questions…

  6. What do you care if the Mouse Guard shows up? You’ve got a Fresnel lens!

  7. allium, it is so refreshing to hear someone use the term “fresnel lens” — thank you. entrails, hmm. sounds like it might be a trail designation in a complex system (“take the N-trail to get to harlem”), or else a rapid transit option for ents…..

  8. Eh, just throw a bunch of new Trekkies into a room with a bunch of old Trekkies and lock the door. That should provide you with all the entrails you need before long.

  9. but man, that quantity of KY jelly must run into *money*.

    It’s much cheaper in industrial quantities. This from a man who was with Weta Workshops for LOTR:FOTR (at Weta Digital since T2Towers).

  10. Being from the bayou country, I think I can offer up a much easier solution. Just go out and buy some Boudan, doctor it with some bar-b-que sauce, and after the play all the actors can celebrate with some good eating and beer.

  11. Come to think of it… aren’t *entrails* cheaper in industrial quantities, too? I mean, not all of them can go into pet food.

    (But now I’m just imagining what the entrail delivery truck would look like, and that is just wrong)

  12. @Errol Now I’m intrigued. What did you guys need a bunch of KY jelly for in LotR:FotR?

    And the making of entrails makes me think of The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair. And that makes me go EWWWWW. And never want to eat meat ever again.

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