Too Late He Realized His Wife Had Been Bitten By That Zombie After All

You’d think she would have said something.

23 Comments on “Too Late He Realized His Wife Had Been Bitten By That Zombie After All”

  1. Adam J. Whitlatch – Bonaparte, Iowa – Adam J. Whitlatch is the author of over sixty works of speculative short fiction and poetry, as well as the young adult science fiction novel E.R.A. - Earth Realm Army and the urban fantasy novella Retribution: Book I of the Blood Raven Saga. His work has appeared in Six Sentences, Northern Haunts: 100 Terrifying New England Tales, Dead Science, Shroud, Crossed Genres, The Drabbler, and Vicious Verses & Reanimated Rhymes just to name a few. Adam lives in southeastern Iowa with his wife and two sons. He is currently studying to become an English teacher.
    Adam J. Whitlatch

    She did. She said, “BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!!”

  2. Didn`t you ever see “Shaun of the Dead“? Zombies are happy so long as you keep them chained up in your tool shed playing video games.

  3. ruzkin – I was born in Hong Kong in '85 and knew by the age of six that I wanted to be a writer. People spent the next fifteen years telling me it was impossible. Fifteen years too late, I've told them to shove it. I live in Melbourne, study Industrial Design, work in a bookshop and write every day. One day I'll crack the market. You're welcome to wait and watch for as many years as that takes.

    Maybe she was in one of those moods.

  4. You’re very creative. Your brains must be quite tasty. Alas, you should have know better than to adopt a creative lifestyle.

  5. @3 : I think you are confusing Teenagers/CompSci majors with Zombies, here. I should know; I was the former/am the latter.

    That said, it is an easy mistake to make. If in doubt, just listen. If they are saying “braiiiins….”, rather than “baandwiiiiidth….”, you can assume it is a Zombie.

  6. Ellie Story – Voracious reader of books. Food lover. Great lover of photography and pretty shiny things.

    good thing he doesn’t have access to a cricket bat.

  7. I recently discovered a cool solitaire game called Zombie in My Pocket by Jeremiah Lee. At the BoardGamesGeek site, you can download the free Print-n-Play PDF.

    Cos you need the practice. Just saying…

  8. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me

    Yeah, generally they don’t stop and inform you of their zombinance. They just go for brains. Nothing but brains.

  9. Ooo! Ooo! My “Big Idea” for a universe crossover novel: How much worse would a zombie horde be if some or all of the zombies had BrainPals?

    Now that sounds like an interesting story……

  10. So an old friend drops in on the Scalzis. John, facing a deadline, just pops his head out to say hello, and invites friend to stay for dinner.

    An hour later, he emerges to find friend sitting at the kitchen table babbling incoherently while Krissy is frying pieces of brain in the wok.

    She turns to John, blood dripping from her mouth and says, “Dinner’s almost ready. Something wrong, honey?”

    From behind, Athena hisses “Run!”

    Coming up next: What John snuck onto the plane on his last trip.

  11. Aren’t the important questions as follows?
    1) Is that a cat at the left side of the image?
    2) If so, is it Ghlaghghee?
    3) If so, why is it out of focus, and not centered?
    4) And why isn’t chang, or perhaps chang, asking these questions? After all, this is the only picture on the front page of Whatever that even might feature Ghghlaghghee …

  12. Why would you expect her to tell you? Isn’t the whole “one of the defenders will get a bitten by a zombie, and not tell anyone, putting everyone at risk” pretty much a trope at this point?

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