Today I Am a Man

Hey, look: I finally have an IMDB entry. I feel so, you know. Hollywood.

Have your people call my people, babe. We’ll do lunch.


The God Engines ARC Contest

First off, let me just say that you are not prepared for the staggering 1970s fantasy art Gor-gasm you’re about to have looking at the cover to my upcoming novella The God Engines. So take a moment to prepare.

Ready? Here you go:

See? Told you. The artwork is from Tomislav Tikulin, who has clearly studied up on his John Norman.

And you ask: does this cover match what’s between the covers? The answer: This is in fact a reasonably accurate representation of a character in the story. Hey, when I told you guys this novella was unlike anything else I’d ever written, I wasn’t kidding. Truth in advertising, folks. Now, you’ll have to read it to find out who this character is, why he’s in chains, and why he’s so damn angry. You may be pleasantly surprised!

And if you would like to read it — early, before everyone else reads it in December — here’s your chance: Subterranean Press is running a contest, the winner of which will be sent an ARC of The God Engines, which are slated to arrive at the SubPress HQ in the next couple of weeks. When they get it, they’ll ship one off to you. All you have to do is come up with the winning answer to this question:

If this was not the cover to The God Engines, what would be the title of the book it was the cover to?

Which is to say: imagine a different book that this would be the appropriate artwork for, and think of the title. You will be graded on cleverness, quite obviously.


1. Post your titles in the comment thread to this entry. All entries must be in by 11:59pm Eastern, Tuesday, June 2nd.

2. No more than two titles per entrant.

3. Using “of Gor” in your title is probably not as clever as you think it is, since we already went there.

4. Titles with the word “bacon” in them are also not nearly as clever as you think, and will be disqualified. Come on, people, get over it.

5. Per points 3 and 4 above, if you type in “Bacon Slaves of Gor,” or some such, we will have you killed.

6. Bill Schafer and I are final arbiters of who wins.

There it is. Think of something good, or we’ll let this guy out of his chains to come after you. Trust me, you won’t like that.

So: Book titles! What have you got for us?

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