Me: Hey, it looks like the New York Times has discovered that straight men and gay men can actually be friends!
My Gay Friend™: Amazing.
Me: I know! But they do say that there might be some Harry-Met-Sally sexual worry that the gay friend might like the straight friend.
MGF: Uh-huh.
Me: You don’t see that.
MGF: Not really.
Me: So, no sexual tension between us.
MGF: No.
Me: Ever.
MGF: No.
Me: What about that one time —
MGF: No.
Me: When we were —
MGF: No.
Me: And that thing —
MGF: No.
Me: And I was naked then.
MGF: Please stop.
Me: Huh. I’m vaguely disappointed.
MGF: I’m not.
So remember, straight men: Just because your friend is gay, doesn’t mean there’s that OMG sexual tension there. New York Times hand-flappery about the same notwithstanding.