Topping Today’s List of Things That Probably Shouldn’t Make Me As Happy As They Do

A Coke Zero tallboy.

Now all I need to see is a Coke Zero 40 ounce and I can die happy.

34 Comments on “Topping Today’s List of Things That Probably Shouldn’t Make Me As Happy As They Do”

  1. Meh, Coke Zero is ok. Nowhere near as good as the four great tastes of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper, but at least it’s not the abomination known as Diet Pepsi.

  2. You know, I think you’re a fabulous guy and all, but I’ll never understand your preference for Coke Zero when you could be drinking delicious Pepsi One instead.

    The only logical explanation I have is that your local Stop-N-Rob doesn’t carry the superior diet cola.

  3. I used to drink Coke Zero. Then I became allergic to aspartame. Now I drink Pepsi One and I must say, it’s awesome.

  4. I think a 40 of coke zero would be the ultimate expression of the essence of Ohio, in beverage form, as well as one of the seals of the apocalypse. Lo, it was foretold.

    Thanks, John, for using your blog to alert me to when I should start stockpiling canned goods and potable water. And Pepsi Max.

  5. Maarken @#6,

    that’s a negative. Coke Zero is sweetened with aspartame, and Pepsi One is sweetened with Splenda (sucralose).

  6. There is a Splenda-sweetened (sucralose) Diet Coke. For those of us who hate aspartame. And it doesn’t taste like cough syrup when mixed with dark rum, which Coke Zero does. Not that Scalzi cares about that.

    But they don’t make it in tallboys.

  7. Daniel Ross – Hi, I'm Daniel Ross, and I'm a nerd. My big joys in life are learning about new things, figuring out how things work, and making things work better. One of the things I spend a lot of time on in the "making better" column is life in general. I've got political opinions ohboy. I probably won't talk about 'em that much here, though. On my own time, I spend a lot of time exploring and having new experiences. That might be as planned as taking a vacation out into the woods to hike a new trail I read about. It might be as simple as hopping a Muni bus and riding until I don't know where I am, or eating somewhere different every time I go out. I also have a shifting collection of other hobbies. I'm an avid reader, and Someday I Will Write a Novel(™); I make chainmail jewelry; and when all else fails, there's always taking your day job home with you by hobby coding.
    Nentuaby

    Hmmm. Call me an eco-nerd, but I’m wondering now whether (given you recycle both) an aluminum tallboy or a plastic (PET, I think?) bottle is lower footprint…

  8. Martyn Taylor – Northumberland – A writer exploring what lies beyond our peripheral vision. Published by various small presses and now considered to be nearly a Proper Author. Can be found lurking around the frozen North of England, happily herding a small family of recalcitrant adults who may once have been children and a woman who may very well be the fulcrum upon which the universe turns. Available for hire for very reasonable prices.
    martyn

    The sadness of this is awe-inspiring. But I’m a Diet Coke addict, so what do I know?

  9. No, coke zero has aspartame in it. I’m looking at my daughter’s can of coke zero right now.

  10. When I was in Germany last month, I bought a Coke (regular old sugar sweetened Coke, none of that aspartame for me, thanks) in a hard plastic bottle a little bigger than a 40. 1 Euro. :)

  11. What, they have sugar-sweetened Coke in other countries? Geez, we’re stuck with that high fructose corn syrup crap. Except at Passover, when you can get Coke with sugar here in the US. I have got to remember to stock up next year.

    As someone who early on discovered the hard way about aspartame allergies (migraine trigger), I can’t even touch most diet products. Several of the other artificial sweetener products also have consequences if I use them. Even Splenda, which is supposed to be a sugar-based product, tends to make me cranky. Worse, aspartame is so commonly used, I have to read product labels very carefully before I buy things like no-fat yogurt and even chewing gum and breath mints!

  12. 24 – if you have any Hispanic-oriented supermarkets in your area they probably carry Mexican Coke and/or Pepsi. Glass bottle, cane sugar, it’s 1985 all over again! And if you do find such a store, may I recommend trying out the Jarritos and Sangria Señorial brands as well? If (non-alcoholic) wine flavored soda is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

    But then again I like liver and onions, Vegemite and Brussels sprouts, so my judgment is pretty suspect already.

  13. #20
    I probably missed out on that (*sigh*) — somewhere around here I have a Gift Certificate for Coca-Cola addressed to the parents of “Baby Fitch” (they had problems agreeing on a name for me) and dated 1928. They were thrifty people, and presumably would’ve used it if they’d accepted the advertising idea that Coca-Cola (containing a bit of cocaine) was good medicine for babies. (Mind you, I now have a mild preference for Classic Coke, especially for the form of it that doesn’t use corn syrup.)

  14. Die happy? If you keep drinking that toxic waste you’ll certainly die early, but I dunno how happy about it you’ll be.

  15. Those of you hoping for sugar sweetened soda, there is Pepsi Throwback which has made its way to our shelves at least (though i’m on board with the Coke Zero crew – though bottled, not canned, as I don’t like the can taste and/or mix) and has real sugar in it. I think Coke was doing something similar but not sure if it ever made it out of the concept/testing stage.

  16. I’ve been buying Mountain Dew tallboys for the last couple of weeks and just bought the last one at the store I go to every morning. That makes me sad.

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