The Neck Issue

Truth to tell, I don’t really mind getting older in a general sense, but I have to say I really hate what it’s doing to my neck. Middle age has decided to make its beachhead there, and slowly but surely (and not really all that slowly, alas) my neck is losing its concavity and is instead becoming something of a direct slope from my chin to my sternum. This pleases me not in the least.

Mind you, I’ve always had a thick neck in proportion to my size, which is I think one of the reasons why when people see me in pictures without me standing next to something for scale, they assume I’m some six foot dude. A side effect of this is even when I was (ahem) thinner than I am now, I often looked like I had a double chin, especially if the picture caught me snickering. Even so, now it’s definitely kinda drapey, which sucks.

What to do about it? Well, first I suppose I really should get around to dropping those fifteen pounds I’ve been planning to drop since the beginning of the year; that would be start. After that if it’s still a flat plane I suppose I’ll brush up on my charm, as I will not be impressing people with my devilishly strong neckline. I’ve mentioned casually to people that if I ever was going to get plastic surgery done, it would be to my neck — not in an attempt to look younger (which would be rather more work than I would want, and you end up with the Kenny Rogers permanently-standing-behind-a-jet-engine look anyway) but just avoid the inevitable wattle action — but in the end I’ll probably just have to live with it. Stupid neck.

(Picture credit: Tina Wassenaar Kambarian)

Slavering Hordes! I Command You to Take This Poll!

Inasmuch as it has been variously implied recently that the lot of you are slavering hordes what crouch for employment at my feet, a poll for you, my pretties.

Remember, this is for posterity, so please, be truthful.