No Matter How Much You Ask

I will not tell you details about the dance-off between Neil Gaiman and me at the Tor party last night. So don’t ask.

Now I bet you wish you’d come to Worldcon this year, don’t you.

Update: Kyle Cassidy’s pictures from Worldcon & the Tor party here.

29 Comments on “No Matter How Much You Ask”

  1. Was it a dance-off… to the death?

    And that depends if the Tor party was open (as it was at World Fantasy where I snuck in a drank a few of their beers).

  2. What, you mean lowly little ol’ common fans could’ve gotten IN to the Tor party to see you and Neil dance?

  3. kirbycrow – USA – Kirby Crow worked as an entertainment editor and ghostwriter for several years before happily giving it up to bake brownies, read yaoi, play video games, and write her own novels. Whenever she isn't slaying Orcs or flying a battleship for the glory of the Amarr Empire, she can be found in the kitchen, her vegetable garden, or at the keyboard, tapping away at her next book. Kirby is a winner of the EPIC Award and the Rainbow Award. She is the author of the bestselling "Scarlet and the White Wolf" series of fantasy novels. Her published novels are: Prisoner of the Raven (historical gay romance) Scarlet and the White Wolf: The Pedlar and the Bandit King (fantasy/romance, m/m) Scarlet and the White Wolf: Mariner's Luck Scarlet and the White Wolf: The Land of Night Angels of the Deep (paranormal/horror) Circuit Theory (scifi, speculative, m/m) Hammer and Bone (mixed genre, horror, dark paranormal, queer lit) Poison Apples (queer lit) Scarlet and the White Wolf: The King of Forever (fantasy/romance) Malachite: Book 1 of the Paladin Cycle (speculative fantasy - m/m - 2015) Coming Soon Scarlet and the White Wolf: The Temple Road (fantasy/romance - 2015) For upcoming news of her future novels, visit
    Kirby Crow

    Details? I want VIDEO.

  4. anotherdamnedmedievalist – I'm a medievalist. I teach. I try to research. I write about academia, life, and cats. I'm starting to believe I might fit in with the smart, cool medievalists, but I have a hard time not feeling like a fangirl when I'm with them. Contact me at: another_damned_medievalistATSIGNhotmailDOTcom

    man… I really should have gone into more debt for this one.

  5. Gaiman has that natural British pranciness, but I’ve seen our man do a lovely grand jeté. My money’s on Scalzi on this one.

  6. In answer to the several comments, in fact, the Tor party was open to anyone who showed up. And judging how crowded things were, most of the convention apparently showed up.

  7. I have no idea why but:

    I’m picturing Scalzi and Gaiman playing chess on the rhythm of In the Hall of the Mountain King by Grieg (I think – I hope – I should ggle this maybe).

    It looks delicate, elegant, and compelling. That is, if you look from above. Where, apparently, I am (was?).

    Maybe I shouldn’t post this. But I keep wondering, what if it was like that? And if it was, who won?

  8. To any of the bystanders who might have been injured in these events, I apologize for my role in instigating said dance-off.

    …actually, I take that back, it was totally awesome, and I’ll totally try to encourage Hugo nominee dance offs in the future.

  9. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, who wishes summer would come and warm his ass up.


    There. I said it. Happy?

    Damn you.

  10. csdaley – C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

    Don’t try to fool us into thinking you might have one the dance with the king of cool. I have seen Gaiman’s hair, it could beat you in a dance off.

  11. The great advantage of not having any details is that we get to make them up…

    I got nothin’… Any visual of JS dancing makes my mind shut down.

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