60 Comments on “Ow”

1. Okay, I’ll take the rap. It’s my fault, John. I used my psychic powers to crack your molar. I’m sorry, I didn’t really think it would work, and I was reading your blog when I decided to to test my ability.

2. So your motto is, “If the tooth hurts, share it”?

3. I think you should blame the tooth fairy. She is fairly repugnant, anyway.

4. Was I not supposed to hit your tooth with that hammer? Was that wrong?

5. I’m confident you could prove it was the government’s fault if you used some dodgy logic.

6. I suppose it says something about internet culture that when I read “cracked molar” I began imagining a comedic top-ten list.

7. Brach’s?

8. Remember when we could blame everything on El Niño? Those were the days…

9. I had one of those recently. Welcome to the Land of Root Canal

10. When in doubt blame society…

    rabid

11. I blame Jay Leno. The whole world’s gone to hell since he took Letterman’s Tonight Show gig out from under him.

    And get off my lawn!

12. We! Make! Holes in Teeth!

13. > So your motto is, “If the tooth hurts, share it”?

    You can’t handle the tooth!

14. i did it. I’m evil that way, nothing massive or hugely destructive. just that annoyance that is always there, similar to singing “it’s a small world” endlessly after the ride, or humming “Piano Man” by Billy Joel after the song has been played. You’re humming it now aren’t you..now back to the tooth. Small world. Piano Man. Tooth……see??

15. If the shoe hurts, crack it.

    Sorry about the tooth, John. You were supposed to find that large, pricy gem before chewing and swallowing.

    (If there’s anything worse than dentists, it has to be toothouch. Or maybe being forced to All My Exes Live in Texas on repeat, but probably toothouch.)

16. I also have a cracked molar. Going to get it fixed at the end of the month.

    You might be grinding your teeth in your sleep. That can do a lot of damage.

17. On a serious note, do you grind your teeth at night? Could that be how this happened? You might ask the dentist if this could be the case. You may need a nightguard.

18. I see that you made the dentist appointment. I hope you’re already on the way to the dental office.

    Ouch!

    I have room to accept the blame, if you need someone to step up to the plate. My teenager hasn’t yet told me this week that everything is my fault.

19. I think it’s only fair that *I* take the blame. Especially considering I blamed you for something on Twitter the other day…

20. I blame the terrorists…

21. “You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society.”

22. Blame Canada. Everyone else does.

23. Careful! Obama’s death courts might decide to put you down instead of fixing your tooth!

24. Mea culpa.

25. I suffered two cracked molars when I was 10, in a bike accident that was very definitely my fault. Since I’ve survived three decades since then, I’ll take the heat for yours as well. Just add it to the pile.

26. You had to know Coke “Zero” was too good to be true.

27. You know who to blame.

    THE MAN.

28. But… I’ve been assured that I’m the man!

29. Blame gay marriage. It’s convenient and no less responsible for the demise of your tooth than it is for the demise of heterosexual marriage as in institution.

30. Barack Obama, of course. This is how he gets you – he sneaks into your house, late at night and cracks your molar. That means you have to go to the dentist, which is part of his web of Nazi Communist Brainwashers, who will put you under anesthesia and hypnotize you into gay marrying an illegal immigrant.

    The man is ruthless, I tell you. Today Scalzi, tomorrow THE WORLD!

31. I blame all ailments (possibly including broken bones) on menopause. This may not work well for you.

32. At last, my voodoo doll gets results!

33. Maybe you turned into a werewolf, went out hunting, and bit a birther in the head. You might want to check your gums for shards of granite.

34. Sorry about that. Turns out the line of transmitters we were installing in the late 90’s was defective and had to be recalled. I thought we’d replaced them all, but clearly we missed one.

35. I swear I totally didn’t do it. The dental voodoo doll and the sample of your skin culture taken from Worldcon are just for show, man.

    Anyhow, that sucks. Hope you have a good dentist.

36. I refuse to take the blame.
    Go ahead and try to pin it on me.
    I have decided to join everyone else in our wasn’t my fault society.
    I am drawing the line here.
    Plus, I am sure that it is O.J.’s fault.

37. Don’t blame Canada, blame Stephen Harper (our Prime Minister); everything bad thing that happens is his fault.

    More so now that we are likely to go into an election in the fall.

    cheers
    andrew

38. I require a root canal, and because of my insurance carrier, i had to wait until 9/1 to even SEE the dentist. My root canal appointment is on Tuesday. Until then I’m on soft foods (chewing on one side of my mouth has caused TMJ) such as this room-temperature pudding I’m currently enjoying.

    I feel your pain. Oh no wait, that’s MY pain I’m feeling. Doh.

39. John, you may be The Man, but remember, it’s The Man who’s keeping you down, and you can’t really keep yourself down. Therefore, for the limited purpose of your cracked molar, somebody else is The Man.

40. I blame myself.

41. You can blame Drew’s Cancer for anything, so why not your molar: http://blamedrewscancer.com/

42. @39 mythago:

    Unless The Man who is keeping Scalzi down is a John Scalzi from the future, who cracked Scalzi’s molar today to prevent him from posting or tweeting something that would ultimately cause a chain reaction that would destroy life as we know it. (Think Marx’s Communist Manifesto meets Heinlein’s “By His Bootstraps.”)

43. I had a cracked molar two years ago. I never felt such pain my life. That’s when I discovered the awesomeness that is Vicodin.

44. Bueller? Bueller? Ferris Bueller?

45. Blame me for your cracked molar and I’ll blame you for my swollen salivary gland. We’re even.

46. It was all Jim Wright”s idea.

47. Blame Fluoride, the other communist plot.

48. It’s Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s fault. If they hadn’t gone on vacation for three weeks, this wouldn’t have happened. Everything bad happens when they’re on vacation.

49. I blame George W. Bush… but then again don’t we blame him for everything?

50. Not since January 20th at noon.

51. you no put up cute pictures of kitty
    i put curse on you

    i not chang chang

52. (Think Marx’s Communist Manifesto meets Heinlein’s “By His Bootstraps.”)

    No. And you can’t make me think of it, either.

53. actually, it was my fault. i’ve been having tooth issues the past week or so, woke up this morning and only have a bit of jaw pain; tooth pain is gone.

    i’m guessing i wasn’t a good candidate for such discomfort, and my pain looked for a better jaw…

    :)

54. Blame your Intelligent Designer — who apparently aced Nebulas and Mountains and Air in Their Macro-Existence classes, but struggled, pass-fail, through the Micro-Existence curriculum: Eyes, Lower Backs, Teeth.

55. Your Dentist’s kid’s tuition bill is due, and he has a car payment on the 15th.

    Blame him.

    My Dentist is married to my Hand Therapist, I have serious hand problems requiring periodic surgery, they compete to see who can hurt me the most.

56. Well, I’m about to get tooth 19 finally fixed, after a two-month saga. I don’t know if I can take responsibility for your problems, but if you do manage to get it fixed in short order, I will take the credit for getting your bad luck along with my own. Because I’m REALLY getting sick of this.

    I want ribs tomorrow for dinner. Real, chewy, grind-over-my-molars ribs. MMMMMM. I think a trip to Smokey Bones is in order….

57. My job is “designated scapegoat”.

58. It wasn’t the Illuminati. (they made me post this)

59. Well, you could blame me, if you’d showed up to that party at WorldCon and eaten some of my chocolates. But you didn’t, so this is Not My Fault.

    Please blame me anyway. It will help my rep.

60. Marybeth @56: Hey, my problem is with tooth 19, too! And I’ve had to wait months to get my tooth fixed, too!

    *Tooth 19 Fistbump*