18 Comments on “Not Dead or Abducted or Transformed Into a Newt”

1. Hey, I figure you only actually owe us posts five days a week – weekend posts are bonus. But then, I might ask you read my manuscript someday, too.

2. What it like? :)

3. Sssshhhhhh……Be vewy vewy quiet he’s hunting muses.

4. What? A day…without a computer? Huh? I don’t get it…you mean you do everything on your cell phone?

5. First Lawrence Watt-Evans, now you. It must be “Return to Pluto to report back to our overlords” week.

6. What? a post?

   I thought you were dead.

   Crap, we’d already started dividing up your stuff…

   Are you sure you’re not dead?

7. No John, I hate to break it to you but a day without computer isn’t allowed. You must amuse us! I order it! Dance monkey, dance!

8. zombie scalzi! zombie scalzi!
   quick, somebody do something. i’m going back to bed. the interwebs are boring and scalzi is busy terrifying children at a skating rink of all places.

9. Y’know, I don’t think that Scalzi actually wrote this posting. I think it’s his computer pretending to be John and forging this “Please excuse John from today’s participation…” note.[1] The bit about having a “non-computer-centric day” is a deliberate ploy to mislead us — it sounds awfully stilted and out of character, doesn’t it?

   Nah, that wouldn’t ever happen. The Computer is Our Friend, and friends are always to be trusted. Right?

   ____
   [1] Oops, that’s the note intended for his online gamimg group and Twitter followers. It reads thus:

   Please excuse John from today’s participation, as he will attend a memorial gathering in honor of the Last Area Code [2][3] along with his cats.

   /s/ Mrs. Scalzi

   [2] Per US convention until approximately 1997, after which 1+ dialling was mandated and seven- or eight hundred more area codes became possible.

   [3] Traditionally celebrated on 9/19, of course.

10. Jet beat me to it. Oh well, back to my reading.

11. Damn, I’ll have to try harder on that polymorph spell. Back to the books.

12. Damn, Scalzi slipped out of the shackles again. :)

13. What in the name of all that’s holy is a newt?

14. @ #JJS

    if that question is directed toward us (i.e. the commenters) i’m sure someone will tell you a newt is a small salamander kind of thing from europe, north america and sometimes asia. sometimes it’s even got bright, pretty colours.

    if you are asking *scalzi* “what in the name of all that’s holy. . .” you are presuming that he still has an understanding of what is/is not holy in his current zombie like (and/or pod-person like and/or cyborg like) condition. doubtful. very doubtful.

15. Actually, she did turn him into a newt. He got better.

16. I’m planning to go to the zoo with my classmates today. I think I’ll tell the elephants “John Scalzi isn’t online either” and see how they’ll react.

17. Transformed?

    Come to think of it, what would the Autobot/Decepticon Scalzifyer transform into?

    A word processor… with lasers?

18. Scalzi as Newt Gingrich? Yuck