This Is What Happens When the Hobbits Who Have Abducted Me and Forced Me To Act in Their Musical Finally Make Me Angry

Yup. This is about right.

(If you’re just coming in at this point, a little bit of context)

31 Comments on “This Is What Happens When the Hobbits Who Have Abducted Me and Forced Me To Act in Their Musical Finally Make Me Angry”

  1. And suddenly, every bad review John has ever received disappears quickly off the Internet replaced by “Did we say ‘ripoff of Heinlein?’ We, um, meant, er, ‘homage to Hemingway.’ Yeah. That’s it. PLEASE DON’T HURT US!!!”

    John, this should be sent to Publisher’s Weekly with your next ARCs, along with a note saying, “Dear (not so) anonymous reviewer, Don’t make me angry. Here’s why.”

    So what if you don’t really know who they are. The important thing is they don’t know that.

    Fear is your buddy.

    (He said, planning to have “Reject Fear” tattooed on his arm.)

  2. We’ve always said that John must not use his powers for evil. Now we know what he can really do. Note to self: must keep John Scalzi happy.

  3. as a special added touch – the ad above the comic strip is for Bacon Salt – “Make everything taste like bacon”.
    everything? really? no tape needed?

  4. No mallet of loving correction?

    That’s when he’s being NICE.

    You don’t want to make Scalzi angry…

  5. So, Scalzi turns into the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Alien, and then a cloudy/fluffy Ram-headed…thing. With no thumbs.

    I’m not feeling the fear, here.

  6. I am loving this whole sequence. It’s fun to see bizarre fictional renditions of people, especially when done in an absurdist manner.

  7. B. Durbin @ 13: Who said anything about “fictional renditions”? As far as I can tell, this is documentary evidence of the Scalzi in its purest form.

    I know this because I’ve met the Scalzi exactly zero times. Plus, it’s on the internet. The internet simply does not lie.

    Or so I’ve been told. By the internet.


    John Scalzi loves bunnies, enjoys drinks with umbrellas, and is an avid showtunes enthusiast. He is also the editor of Duck Soup, the newsletter of the Marxist wing of the Republican Party. Send him bacon.

    (Don’t you wish you hadn’t said that now, John?)

  9. Brian, it appears to be a representation of Baphomet.

    If you do not fear Baphomet, you are either already His bitch, or a fool (as in “Fools! I’ll destroy you all!” not like Kanye West or somebody).

  10. John’s Tolerant Wife is tolerant…in public. In private she makes him wear a French maid’s uniform and spanks him purple.

  11. eviljwinter @ 16 —

    Scalzi enjoys drinks with umbrellas? He should enjoy drinks with his buddies instead. Much better company. On the other hand, I bet the umbrellas are cheap drunks.

    And his Native American name is Drinks-With-Umbrellas.

  12. I enjoy the fact that abducting you and forcing you to act in their musical wasn’t really enough to make you angry, that somehow the line is *beyond* that point. Interesting….

  13. It was the coke zero torture that got him to perform (every superhero/villian {and I’m not sure which John would be in this instance!} has thier achilies heel, don’tcha know) – hounding on his performance abilities and torching him is just going TOO FAR….

  14. I can’t wait for tomorrow’s webcomic to find out what happens next.

    The suspense is terrible.

    I hope it will last…

  15. This is why when you invite the Scalzi to a con, you ALWAYS feed the Scalzi bacon at opening ceremonies.


  16. I got the feeling reading those comics that if it weren’t for the Scalzi content those strips would be pretty dull. So I read a bunch more of the series, and I’ve determined that while it’s composed in a visually appealing way, that comic is boooooooriiiiing. Give me OOTS any day of the week.