Monthly Archives: September 2009

11 Years

Look at that; another year down. Eleven years ago today I started writing on Whatever, and at the time I would probably not have expected that I would still be doing it in the far distant age of 2009, much less have become reasonably notable for it. But then, eleven years ago, I probably would […]

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Rationalizations Run Thick

Nick Mamatas, following the comment thread over at the Josh Olsen “I won’t read your script” Village Voice article, comes up with this whopper of a comment, from “Bierce_Bitchslap”: There’s thousands of writers in America – especially in the fly-over states – who will never have a chance at getting prestige status in their niche […]

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Incidentally: The Best Song Ever to Feature a Member of Night Ranger

It’s this one. Indeed, in the grand pantheon of Arena Ballads — of songs explicitly genetically designed to be played in front of 10,000 stoned denim-jacked blue collar joes and janes, each waving a lighter — this is one of The Great Ones, easily outranking “Sister Christian” — although not “Come Sail Away,” to name […]

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Night Ranger Winners!

As if anyone can actually “win” when Night Ranger is involved. Nevertheless, the judges — me and Bill Schafer — have selected two winners from this week’s contest. That’s right! Two! Because we couldn’t decide between them. They are: Newberry: And Pixelfish: Yeah, you pretty much can’t beat those. So Newberry and Pixelfish, congratulations! Send […]

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Name in Lights

So, a screen capture from the DVD I just finished watching: Which is to say that yes, I have the series opener of Stargate: Universe in my grubby little hands at the moment. Which is making it very hard to type. Hold on, let me put it down. There we go. And how is the […]

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A New Scalzi Short Story!

Well, sort of. Not bad for ten and a half. We’ll be entertaining movie option offers, starting at $1 million. And some Webkinz. And a pony. Update: Oh, look, Athena’s first fan art. Man, she’s way ahead of me with this stuff. I didn’t get fan art until I was, like, 35. I’m trying not […]

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The Guy’s Saying What I Said, Except About Screenplays

Hey, remember when I explained why I won’t read your unpublished work? Well, Oscar-nominated screenwriter Josh Olson is here to explain why he won’t read your screenplay. You will not be surprised to discover his reasons for not reading your screenplay are very very much like my reasons for not reading your unpublished work. It […]

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Ranking Trek Directors

Over at the AMC column this week, I’m ranking Star Trek directors, because someone asked me to, and taking requests is easier than coming up with topics on my own. Go, path of least resistance! And let me tell you, JJ Abrams (pictured above) isn’t the best Trek director. Not even close. Who is? Well, […]

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Here, Have a Place to Talk About That Other Obama Speech

You know. The one where he overthrew the capitalist system to give illegal immigrants federally subsided breast enhancements. Oh, sorry, wrong universe. I mean, the one where he talked about health care. Keep it mellow, don’t stab each other in the eyeballs, and remember that slapping down the “Obama = Socialist” card will get you […]

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That Obama Speech, or, Expunging the Stupid Use of Words

Wow, that was sure some socialist speech Obama gave yesterday, huh? I went to pick up Athena from school, and all the kids marched out of building, singing “The Internationale” and clutching copies of the children’s illustrated edition of Das Kapital, distributed by smiling members of Young People’s Socialist League. Truly, it’s a new day […]

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The Abject Holy Terror Of Night Ranger, or, a Contest

The video, I think, explains it all: For reasons that are simply too terrifying to detail now, except to say DIE BILL SCHAFER DIE, I am cursed to wear this Night Ranger shirt for the rest of the day. The picture below explains how I feel about this: Nevertheless I must endure. AND, this does […]

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Yup, That’s About Right

Over at the Wall Street Journal, Joe Queenan pretty much sums up the Summer of ’09. I suspect my own summer was slightly better than most people’s because I got a Hugo out of it, but overall, yeah, it’s not a summer that anyone will remember as being vintage. Indeed, Summer ’09 gets my personal […]

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“Judge Sn Goes Golfing” Cover Art

Ladies and gentlemen, I consider this SUPER AWESOME: Yes, the cover and interior illustrations of my upcoming signed chapbook “Judge Sn Goes Golfing” are by none other than Gahan Wilson. If you are not aware of who Gahan Wilson is, you have my pity, but this is easily corrected. Suffice to say that he’s one […]

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Various & Sundry, 9/4/09

Things and Stuff: * This study suggests that (presumably, straight) men get so flummoxed in the presence of a pretty woman that they actually get appreciably stupider around them. Having watched men walk into walls craning their heads trying to get a look at my wife, this does not come as news to me. Nor […]

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