Frequency Reminder

Just a quick reminder that for the next week, posting frequency here will probably be low, on account that all my time will be taken up in the process of shredding the hopes and dreams of newbie writers and chortling whilst I do it helping the next generation of science fiction/fantasy writers expand their skills. That said, I’ll try to give you folks fun things to with themed open threads and conversational subjects, because I know how much you enjoy those things. Just promise me you’ll all be nice to each other while I’m busy. Becuase it’s all about the love here, right? Right.

22 Comments on “Frequency Reminder”

  1. And he does chortle. He demonstrated it last night for us early arrivals. All across the island babies wailed and kitties cried when he did it. It seems no amount of Coke Zero can sway his fearsome wrath, um, mollify his dread appetite for newbies, um, avert the loving mallet of correction,… ah damn. John’s just a jeans wearing, Coke Zero swilling, Cthulhu without the octopus tentacles.

  2. Damnit. Work work work work.

    I’m breaking out of this place. I’ve got a spoon-dug tunnel and a life raft made of glued together raincoats (there were plenty left over from yesterday). I have enough soap to make the model of the head to lay on the wooden board we call a bed here. It may not full the Scalzi, but it may give me a half an hour head start.

  3. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, who should be writing

    I’m jealous o’ alla them VPXIII’ers. They’re in for a good righteous butt-kicking.

  4. John, thanks for taking the time to inform of your heads-downness. I’m embarrassed I originally thought you were two people (turns out one of you had a beard and glasses, the other did not) but now that it’s rectified, I’ve mentioned the “Scalzi-Olsen Practicalities” for why I won’t listen to unsolicited music. ( , if you’re curious.) Let me know if you have a better name for that.

    Also, I thought about why it may seem contradictory to some that you’re very generous with your writing advice, yet on the other hand have the “What to Know…” It strikes that “best use of my time” is a crucial specific factor (like Harlan Ellison selectively choosing which promising writers he mentored), so I’ll take that to mind, too.

    Happy enlightening!

  5. As an unashamed wannabee writer who long ago came to the conclusion that he cannot write to save his life, I am immune to such antics…

  6. Ah, Viable Paradise.

    Every year about this time, the fearful anxious posts of the newbies arise while the barely-veiled doomtastic pronouncements of the instructors rumble.

    How I miss it so.

    Rake em over the coals, John, but in a gentle and compassionate way. They’ll be all the better for it. I know I was! And still am.

    Say hi to everyone, and wave at the jellyfish.

    – yeff (VPXI, “The Elevensies”)

  7. Everyone spare a thought for Matt Hughes @15.

    We all know it won’t be him leaving The Island. It will act like him. Sound like him. Post like him. Even look like him.

    But put him in a quiet room. Calm him. Remove his shirt.

    And there.

    There, in the middle of his chest.

    Held on with two inches of Scotch tape.


  8. Jennifer Bales – Lafayette, Colorado – I represent universities, tech firms and inventors in determining how to protect their intellectual property. Determine whether patents, trademarks, copyrights, or trade secrets are optimal.
    Tazistan Jen

    I am glad you told us that the women on SG-U are all smart, because so far it seems *awfully* male. Command presence – Young, Rush, and the lieutenant. Brains – Eli and Rush.

    And the previews for next week show more Chloe hysterics.

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