Away With Me!

Events of the day conspire to keep me from conversing with you via transmission of electrical particles through this system known as “Teh IntarWeebs”! And what events are these? And do they involve tapioca pudding, a polka version of the hit song “Head Like a Hole,” and between two and six stoats and/or ferrets? I cannot say! What I can say is I’m likely to be out for most if not all of the day. Try to get along without me for as long as you possibly can. And when you can’t, well, maybe I’ll put something on my Twitter feed. Maybe. I make no promises. Stoat handling is hard work.


By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

27 replies on “Away With Me!”

What’s wrong with those stoats? It’s ermine season! Tell them to get busy on their winter coats or they’re raptor food.

Fun fact: even Arctic and subArctic critturs who are at the very top of their food chain grow white coats in the winter.

The white fur isn’t so much for concealment as for warmth, because white hair has more airspace due to its lack of pigment.

So, see, it’s not that I’m aging…it’s just that winter’s comin’ on!

I will see your stoat juggling (with or without accompanying tapoica) and raise you an unannounced class of 4th graders coming in to the library for storytime and research. Really, the teacher should have at least made the effort to call in advance.

I was briefly distracted by the polka, then the common thread became apparent. There is only one thing in common between misplaced polka arrangements, tapioca and vicious varmints, and that is…

Weird Al Yankovic.

We now know something of your secret meeting. Rest assured, we will learn the rest. I, for one, am jealous.

Stoat juggling? Lightweights.

Here in Yorkshire there are still enclaves of ferret legging, although it is not as popular a sport as it was when we had many coal mines and steel works when men were men and a mustelid chewing on one’s knackers was considered nowt.

The rules: A man puts a ferret down his trousers against the clock. The winner is the man who keeps the ferret down his kecks the longest.

I am not making this up.

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