Yes, I’ve seen the head-shaped cremation urn, in which the face looks vaguely like me. It’s been around for months. Please stop sending me links to it. It creeps the shit out of me. Thank you.

32 Comments on “Guys:”

  1. I… haven’t heard about that until now. So I googled. What a Homeresque thing to happen.

  2. Whoops. I feel somehow responsible for this. I saw a tweet today with a link to that urn and then retweeted it mentioning you. I think I first saw the urn and brought it to your attention like a year ago or more. Anyway, I feel like it was my fault if it started coming around to you again. Or maybe I’m assuming I have a lot more influence than I really do have and it’s just synchronicity. If it is my fault, I apologize.

    Love and kisses,

    P.S. For those who haven’t seen it:

  3. Just google “head shaped cremation urn” to see the the thing for yourself. I particularly like the the image of the head with the top off – just for that extra creepy.

    Why anybody would pay between $600 and $2600 for something like that I don’t know? I suppose they could put a handle on it and call it a stein.

  4. Are you sure that Wil Wheaton is not, somehow, behind this? Because that would be awesome payback.

  5. @#7 John: Great idea. mmmm…..brains

    The idea that you can have an urn “in the shape of your favorite celebrity or hero” is rather bizarre. Why would I want my loved one’s ashes in someone else’s head? I think I prefer the oriental floral box in which my deceased cat’s ashes were returned.

  6. Ohhh, you can also have diamonds made from your loved one’s remains. ( I’ll be a creative type could use the diamonds as earrings for the urn-head! ooh, ooh, and then put the brain-gelatin inside, of course. To serve at a party… OR AT THE FUNERAL.


    Actually, a realistic urn-head/brain-jello dip holder would make a fantastic Halloween party decoration. Why wait until I’m dead for all the fun? If only it weren’t 6k. I know what I’M putting on my list to Santa!

    On another note, I guess we should all presume that if someone sends us a link to something weird/creepy/interesting, the link has already been around the interwebs a few times and been forwarded here.

  7. Well, we actually have casting of my husband’s face so he could design an alien forehead for himself. But he’s still alive and I have no intention to have it hollowed out and store any remnants of him in there when he dies.

    For a while the image on the box for Half Life looked very much like my husband with military style glasses. That creeped me out.

  8. You know, I saw that creepy thing months ago — I can’t remember why — and I thought it looked familiar. Now I know why! It really does look uncannily like you.

    I love the idea of using it to hold Jell-O but it’s not $2,600 worth of funny, alas.

  9. By the way, have you seen this video? It’s an ASL performance of “RE: Your Brains” and it’s awesome. And much less creepy than your disembodied head being used as a cremation urn, though that sets the bar pretty low.

  10. Creeperific, you bet, though I don’t see any resemblance to our host. The model shown looks more like the illustration in an anatomy text: standard anthroform male, proportions conforming to 85th percentile, caucasian features mostly ditto.

    Pity about the price. I could see cheap knockoffs of unloved celebrities’ faces becoming hella popular – at shooting ranges. (Been watching this video of some guys shooting the bejebus out of [disused] computer hardware. Again.)

  11. Wow, that’s way creepy. Should have guess Neil would be involved in some way. Him or Wheaton, you can’t trust that Wheaton….

  12. There is probably a website out there that will incorporate your ashes into a “marital aid” … or a toilet seat.

    Either one would be appropriate for some people.

  13. I suppose Modern Technology makes possible the creation of an accurately-representational head or bust from a few photographs. This would be, IMHO, the kind of thing sane or reasonable people would place in their “that’s abstractly interesting” mental file.

  14. Q: What’s a John Scalzi urn?
    A: About-a fifteen cents a word.

    (What!? Somebody had to say it!)

  15. [clicks over to site]

    [blinks, rubs eyes, stares in bewilderment]

    [spends 11.8 seconds despairing of humanity]

    [adds item to personal “It’s Just Wrong” list and moves on]

  16. Ooops. Sorry. In my defense, I did type the words “cremation urn” into your search bar first and got nothing back.

    Still, it’s kind of cute. I could see turning one into some kind of Chia Pet until it was really needed.

  17. The synchronicity is getting more intense: the page in question was radically changed between the time of comment @17 and 2009-12-10 13:50 CST. Suffice to say that Monica got it (the new page, that is) in one.

    John, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m starting to regret an earlier comment about cheap knock-offs and target ranges. Do us all a favor and get yourself a Nobel Peace prize at your earliest convenience, willya?

  18. That was my first thought, too, Monica K. I don’t see the Scalzi resemblence, but our Commander-in-Chief….