This is the Best Christmas Ever

I am a notoriously difficult person to Christmas shop for, which is why for a number of years now my stated policy for people wanting to get me something is to tell them not to bother. Nevertheless, Krissy asked this year if there was anything I wanted for Christmas. I handed her a small list. On the list were the following Christmas wishes:

1. A pony


3. Gum

4. Monica Bellucci

Fast forward to Christmas Eve, when we’re opening presents because all the family is there and, you know, why wait. Under the tree is a box for me. And in the box is the following:

And thus, I can truly say that I indeed got everything I wanted for Christmas. Also, my wife is awesome.

Merry Christmas, and I hope you get everything you want out of the day as well.

39 Comments on “This is the Best Christmas Ever”

  1. Just what you wanted, so nice! My boyfriend got my car detailed for me, which I would never have done for myself. And a wireless mouse for my laptop, which I also wouldn’t have gotten around to buying. He enabled my laziness, and is wonderful :)

  2. Do your cats go nuts over laser pointers? I have a cat friend who treats it like crack, he is addicted and will stare at people until they get out the pointer and give him his fix.

  3. You’ll have to display Pinkie Pie by your computer or on your desk. And the laser pointer is the best toy ever for the cats. I don’t want to ask what you needed with Ms. Bellucci.

  4. You asked for a pony for Christmas?

    We usually have turkey….

    Merry Christmas to you and your family, John.

  5. I didn’t think it was possible, but I now have even more respect for Krissy. My husband is now totally getting something similar for his birthday in February.
    Merry Christmas to all in the Scalzi compound!

  6. Congratulations, sir — looks like a great Christmas!
    Krissy has done you proud … but now you’ve let the pony out of the bag and are no doubt on your way to going to My Little Pony cons and reading My Little Pony slash… science fiction will miss you…

  7. Ahem! Rosario Dawson just drove up in a Mustang, and she wants a very serious WORD with you, John. I’d wear a cup. Merry Xmas.

    Jack Tingle

  8. Hmm – a real laser, a plastic pony, and only an image of Monica. What a pity the priorities weren’t different…

  9. I’ll see your wife’s awesome and raise you: she got me a signed copy of “Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded.”

    …but yeah, the Bellucci thing? Serious wife points there.

  10. I asked for a book deal and pancakes. That fat bastard from the North Pole couldn’t even take time to stop at the IHOP five minutes from my house to manage the pancakes.

    Then again, my wife made omelots for breakfast and looks fab in her zebra-striped Christmas jammies, so it all evens out in the end.

    That and I got the new Star Trek on DVD.

    Ah! Hours and hours of red matter in the privacy of my own…

    Oh. Sorry, John. Merry Christmas.

  11. Merry Christmas! That’s hilarious!

    Oh, and I’m pretty sure my girlfriend would not have given me a Monica Bellucci pic one way or the other.

  12. Krissy is of the Awesome and obviously understands you all too well.

    My family hit all the right notes this year.
    I got:

    A major book store gift card.
    A major coffee outlet gift card.
    Bike accessories from Performance bike.
    Oh, and some fun little tech geek things I can use at work.
    Books, Coffee, biking and tech. That is me all over and really, what else do you need?

    My family rocks!

    This Christmas has been fun in another way if you look at things the right way. My wife had carpal tunnel surgery on the 15th. She’s doing very well but is obviously not up to making goodies this year.
    So in the last 48 hours I’ve made: peanut brittle, fondant, cookies, Wassail, a Pecan pie and have a cider baked ham in the oven as we speak.
    We usually cook and bake together but this year it was all me and I can’t remember a Christmas that was as satisfying.

    Merry Christmas to all…

  13. John, your wife is terrific. Keep her happy. bring her on the Nerd Cruise that Coulton is setting up. You know you want to.

  14. Hah! I did this exact same thing a few years back with my grandmother (different items, though). So b/c I didn’t want her to spend her grocery money on an xbox, which I knew she would have done if I asked for one, I received a small ceramic elephant, chocolate gold coins, and a Hot Wheels muscle car.

    It was just you said, John. I got exactly what I asked for, and it was awesome.

  15. I’m glad you had a the best Christmas ever!
    But now I’m concerned about what your list will look like next year and what your wife’s creative mind will do with it. ;-)

  16. I see that “My Little Ponies” are continuing their transformation from somewhat-oddly-proportioned-but-still-recognizably-equine ponies, to essentially little girls with hooves. I mean, this one has gone so far as being *bipedal*!

  17. This year, my brother and I find ourselves sharing a gift from our aunt. A beer and wine making kit. She knows us so well. This time next year, we’ll have our own moonshine distillery up and running.

  18. Wow. Krissy could be the coolest women ever to have walked the earth.

    And yeah, Monica Bellucci.

  19. Mrs. Scalzi has a good sense of humor. An extremely valuable trait when dealing with Mr. Scalzie, I’m sure.

    My wife proved her love of me once again. I received the often requested Blackburn Rovers F.C. necktie. Go Rovers!

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