And Now, For Those Who Need It, For Whatever Reason: A Picture of My Cat

Ghlaghghee believes this is all very silly indeed. As well she should.

26 Comments on “And Now, For Those Who Need It, For Whatever Reason: A Picture of My Cat”

  1. I don’t know about Ghlaghghee, but I’ve learned to leave my cats alone when they have that look on their face. I have scars on my hands from when I didn’t.

  2. What’s the over/under on chang, who is not chang’s appearance in this thread? Not that I’m a betting man…

  3. Hmm, you do seem to have a cat that is ridiculously good-looking, even when highly unimpressed.

    Do you think that perhaps your present mood is rubbing off a little on Ghlaghghee? :-)

  4. Ghlaghghee looks positively petrified over the possible implications of the Amazon-Macmillan deal on the publishing world . . . not!

  5. Dave H – I can see Canada from my house – Aging dad, electronics nerd, embedded software developer. (I'm the guy who makes your microwave blink 12:00.)
    Dave H

    Ghlaghghlee: “Quota? Catnip doesn’t buy itself you know.”

  6. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang

    No human can ever match the withering stare of a feline. It is utterly debilitating.

  7. Mysteriously, the chairmen of MacMillan and Amazon woke up this morning with cat-claw scratches on their face and decapitated Kindles in their bed.

  8. LAJ: Or possibly she’s planning to point the book-buyer in Scalzi’s direction. Depends on whether she liked her kibble this morning.

  9. In a world where corporations can get all the rights of individuals but few of the penalties, 59 Senators can froth at the mouth about passing a palimpsest of their stated intentions, and 1/6 of all currently published books can disappear in an instant, it is reassuring to know that Ghlaghghee is *still* in charge of the Known Universe. Thank you.

    Now if she can get off that desk and start setting things right….

  10. See leave it to cats to put life in perspective… Amazon-MacMillan is peanuts, it’s when the noms are threatened that they get pissed!

  11. Is that one of those laser-pointed thermometers in the background? I admit to playing with them at work, but it never occurred to me to get one at home (okay, yeah, it occurred to me, but I didn’t buy one).

  12. No, no. She, the Most Beautiful One of the House, is simply disgusted that there are -things- in her spot. That look is pure “Get off your lazy butt and move items. Now, slave!” look.

    I can see items around her. That is never acceptable to the ruling monarch. Unless it is a soft, fuzzy blanket that she has claimed as her own, along with the rest of the bed. As is her right.

  13. O Great Scalzi, what an excellent picture of Her Most Gracious Shimmering Radiant Perfection.

    The Executive Committee of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club offers the following suggestions:

    1. Magnificent She should be better centered in the image.

    2. Eliminate all of the ridiculous knicknacks in the background. We have mentioned this before – and this time you have really gone overboard with irrelevant clutter.

    3. You have again failed to compensate for Her Inner Illumination. Note that the camera underexposed Her and overexposed the back wall due to Her Blinding Radiant Reflection.

    4. The title of your blog post is ridiculous. Everybody needs a picture of the Beauteous Ghlaghghee. It is self-evidently true. You need not encourage the unsophisticated and insensitive lowbrows of the Whatever to sprain their little brains to come up with a reason.

    5. Your interpretation of Her Opinion is not that far off. However, “very silly” is not quite exactly the description of what She is Thinking…

    6. No need for your foolish and arrogant final comment. Magnificent She is neither interested in nor cares about your opinion as to What She Should Do.

    The Executive Committee, a quorum being duly assembled, has passed the following binding resolution:

    RESOLVED, that Blacklisted Scalzi cease posting ridiculous tripe on the Whatever, and instead post only properly done images of the Beauteous Ghlaghghee, Mighty Lopsided Cat, and TempCat Zeus.

    Note the binding nature of the resolution.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club

  14. Harold Check – Harold lives with his wife and two children in San Francisco's Mission neighborhood. Having previously specialized in a myriad of then cutting-edge media pursuits, Mr. Check now spends his time dreaming of future projects to eventually abandon. You can follow him at @haroldcheck, but we wouldn't really advise it.
    harold

    This is the smartest thing you’ve posted in several days.

  15. Shouldn’t the Glaghghee fan club spell their name “ghan club”? The magnificent she doesn’t seem to approve of the letter F.

  16. Shouldn’t the Glaghghee fan club spell their name “ghan club”? The magnificent she doesn’t seem to approve of the letter F.

    This is a superficially excellent point, but have you considered what would happen if this advice were to be followed? Do you really want to read about “Magnighicient She”? I present as an example the first several lines of chang (but not chang)’s missive from the Executive Committee:

    O Great Scalzi, what an excellent picture ogh Her Most Gracious Shimmering Radiant Perghection.

    The Executive Committee ogh The Oghghicial Ghlaghghee Ghan Club oghghers the ghollowing suggestions:

    1. Magnighicent She should be better centered in the image.

    2. Eliminate all ogh the ridiculous knicknacks in the background. We have mentioned this beghore – and this time you have really gone overboard with irrelevant clutter.

    3. You have again ghailed to compensate ghor Her Inner Illumination. Note that the camera underexposed Her and overexposed the back wall due to Her Blinding Radiant Reflection.

    Etcetera.

    And may I take this moment to congratulate chang on the superlative excellence of their comment, which I hope represents a true return to form? On the other hand, as is only to be expected, chang’s comment was another matter entirely.

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