In the Kingdom of the Worms
Posted on March 13, 2010 Posted by John Scalzi 38 Comments
It’s raining and the ground is saturated with water and so the earthworms have erupted from the very soil and headed to our garage, which is not saturated with water, but is now saturated with earthworms. The cats are very happy. I’m vaguely concerned I’ll be picking up earthworm-flavored cat vomit for the next couple of days. Life at The Scalzi Compound is not all flooring and painting, you know.
It’s a very cool photo. You have my sympathies in anticipation of the cat vomit.
Let me warn you. I’ve had experience along these lines — one of our dogs once knocked over the missus’s worm farm and feasted.
It turns out that when mammals eat a sufficient quantity of worms, their body heat will cause the worms render. I mean, there is such a thing as worm oil.
If you want details, I’ve got a lovely essay on the subject, but take my word for it — you do NOT want those cats eating mass quantities of worms. I am not joking.
(By the way. Hey, dude! Long time, no see. How you been?)
Good lord. Where are Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward when you need them.
Do I really want to know what you called it “earthworm-flavored cat vomit”?
Y’know, have that picture done up in oils and you could make a fortune selling it as modern art… *g*
“Good lord. Where are Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward when you need them.”
Wrong movie. Just be careful that a downed power line doesn’t turn the worms into crazed killers.
‘worms to render,’ not ‘worms render.’
(Punches self in head — “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Oh, and in explanation of the familiarity, we met at Viable Paradise this last October.)
“Rendered Worm Oil” just might be the diet supplement of the future. I know I’m not eating anytime soon.
Wait, I thought the Diet of Worms was about the Holy Roman Empire’s response to the protestant reformation. Now you’re telling me it’s really about earthwormed cat vomit?
I don’t think there’s a guarantee of safe passage, either.
Sean, I sent an excerpt of your first comment to a friend who has a cat with an overly delicate stomach. I have no idea when she’s going to talk to me again.
If you potoshop the image a bit, it could make a great book cover :o) Dune: the Scalzi Chapterhouse
Interesting that the Diet of Worms was preceded the year before by “Pope Leo X [who] had issued the Papal bull. . .” according to Wikipedia.
Scott W, she’s lucky you didn’t get the full story. Here’s a hint. Mammals are fluffy. And fluffy is just another word for absorbent.
“Earthworm-Flavored Cat Vomit” sounds like a good name for a punk band.
There’s only one real solution.
Where do you keep the fishing gear?
cats like fish. fish like worms. intelligent cats skip the fishy middleman?
maybe, therefore, cats = worms?
Ew, gross. There are tons of worms where I live too, I hear it’s gonna rain all weekend. But then it will be sunny and I will go biking!
I was just about to take more or less the exact same picture from my garage and put up the exact same post on my blog.
Are… are you me, John? I’ve always thought I might have MPD.
Someone just gave me a link to this, saying my book is coming true right in your garage.
Athena’s okay, isn’t she? She hasn’t been transformed into a pile of worms?
I always feel sorry for worms when it rains. They come out of the ground when it rains, then they dry out on the sidewalk when the sun comes out.
Lucky you; it’s not warm enough here (in still winterized Saskatchewan) for worms.
I would much prefer worms to ice but then I have no cats (poor me).
All in all, I would prefer to have cats.
Look at all that free fish food! My fish could feast on those.
Courtesy of the CBC’s ‘ Quirks and Quarks’, I learned that worms aren’t actually in danger of drowning on wet cement. That photo brought that bit of info up from the depths, but not why worms climb to the surface when it rains if drowning isn’t an issue.
Thank you, John. I don’t care how much Chang-not-Chang might want a picture of a cat eating said worms. There are limits.
That looks unreal. What’s scary is that it is real.
Um, no. It’s exactly the movie I meant. But thanks for playing.
Heh. We’re just west of Columbus, and we have that exact same worm-line where the wet meets dry at our garage door…. ;-)
We also have swamps in various yards, fields, and parking lots.
Earthworms, unlike the Great Sandworms of Southern Nevada (courtesy of the nuclear test site) are driven from the soil by water. Sandworms are driven from the soil by desert tortoises who feast upon their leathery flesh.
And let’s face it, the sandworms aren’t all that great…(tortoises for gods sake, what was I thinking of?)
@Steve Boyett, @Romeo — This photo reminded me of the movie Return Of The Alien’s Deadly Spawn. The spawn in question are toothy little wormlike things and there are some basement scenes that look exactly like this.
‘s actually a pretty decent little movie. Funny, bright, good monster and effective gore — the kind of thing where you’re watching it and thinking, “This kind of movie has no right to be this good.”
Time to go fishing!!!!
In the Kingdom of the Worms…
… the One Eyed Trouser Snake is King.
(Sorry to lower the tone, but once it got into my mind I was, um, earwormed).
Back a few decades ago now, there was a big bait farm that ran a contest for the best recipes using earthworms.
I’ve always thought that the winning entry had the most-appropriate recipe title ever: Applesauce Surprise Cake.
How will you know that their vomit is earthworm-flavored?
Looking at the footprints in that photo. Are those worms really up to about 12″ long? Pretty impressive.
here’s an idea,install a brainpall and have the worms clean the cat box.but we still need a new book to read.
There can be only one…