In Exile
Posted on March 31, 2010 Posted by John Scalzi 41 Comments
The re-finishing and recarpeting of the house continues apace, and it looks great, which is good, but it means that I’m generally on the move in the house while the carpet layers go from room to room. Which is bad.
Today for example, I am exiled to my daughter’s room, because they’re moving furniture out of the master bedroom into the next available room, which is my office, and because the dog is intensely curious about the carpet layers, and at least one of the carpet layers is terrified of the dog, and the dog gets neurotic if left alone behind a closed door, I need to be in a room with a door I can close while the carpet dudes do their work. Thus: Daughter’s room. Said daughter is out of the house until this afternoon, which helps.
On the other hand, the carpet in here in new, and I think I may be getting a contact high on the venting plastic gases. I may have to crack open a window. Also, Edward from Twilight is staring down at me moodily from above my daughter’s desk, which is unsettling. The interests of an eleven-year-old girl are really not my own, I have to say.
Anyway, exiled as I am in a pink-purple, carpet-fumed room with a large neurotic dog while people pound away at the floor just down the hall, I’m expecting not to get a whole lot done today. Time for a good book, of which, fortunately, I have several.
But…you have EDWARD to keep you company. Is he sparkling?
I predict some weird dreams for you tonight.
It’s so… PURPLE
I’d be so tempted to draw a Sharpie marker mustache on Edward.
“But honey, the fumes told me to… Kodi was there, he’ll tell you…”
Good book, eh? Does that mean it’s time to RELEASE THE KRAKEN? It’s not gonna release itself, you know.
I actually like the color on the walls although it seems a bit dark. I would have chosen something a little lighter. In a slightly related note, it seems the actor who played Jacob in the Twilight movies will be in Pittsburgh to film a movie in July. I’m hoping that I don’t have to be anywhere near where he is filming.
If you’re feeling a contact high, imagine what the puppy is going through.
My god, it’s full of purple!
That is a good size book collection for a little girl.
I think that shot was staged. There’s no way an eleven year old’s room is that clean.
Terrified of the dog? But Kodi’s such a cute widdle puppy!
@Joe M, #9: Heck, even _my_ room isn’t that clean.
Wow, what a perfect room for an 11 year old. Isn’t amazing how very noisy carpet laying is? And how long it takes, too. You did tell the carpet layer that Kodi isn’t really an anteater, didn’t you? And that Kodi is just as scared of the carpet layers as they are leery of him. Anyway, crack open a window, ignore Edward, and have a semi-productive day.
Count your blessings. Athena could be part of Team Jacob instead.
I like seeing full bookshelves in any youngster’s room. It’s a good thing.
Oh, that kind of lavender. (Understands facebook post now.)
It’s nice that you’ll let the fair Athena pick her room colors. My parents let us do that too as long as the color was off-white.
Joe M. @ 9:
If one of my parents needed to temporarily use my room for an office when I was eleven, my room would have been spotless.
(Also, while I’m generally a bit of a slob, my younger brother never has been. His room would’ve looked almost that clean most days.)
Having to look at a big poster of Edward? Don’t they make the inmates at Gitmo do that? That should be classified as Cruel and Unusual Punishment!! I like the colors of Athena’s room.
Edward? Oh god no. Well at least you have a dog and a book. =)
“I predict some weird dreams for you tonight.” – #1
If you do have dreams about Edward, you have to tell us about them.
The dog seems to be taking it all in stride…
I saw a poster pic on Reddit requesting Buffy’s return (to kill Edward of course). Made me laugh.
Apparently there is also a Youtube of Buffy vs. Edward, but I haven’t seen that one yet.
I should send in a good picture of our dog soon – we have a giant schnauzer who LOVES sleeping on my bed. But only when I’m also sleeping on it.
Most likely the adhesives. Shoulda requested low VOC adhesives. That stuff will be leeching out at you for years. Sorry dude. Seriously, do open an window. It truly is toxic.
I had every single window open in my house when we recarpeted the upstairs. It really didn’t take that long to go away. Carpet is so much better than it used to be.
Poor doggie. Poor writer. All that purple.
The schnauzer: an object case in how we rearrange reality to suit ourselves. Our schnauzer is not miniature; yours is giant! (The “giant” schnauzer used to be simply the schnauzer; the current schnauzer used to be the miniature and the current miniature used to be the toy. Soon they’ll have a toy the size of a shrew. Then the schnauzer will be the giant schnauzer and the giant schnauzer will be the dino-schnauzer.) When will you tape a whole pheasant to Codi and get rid of that silly cat meme? That’s what the (giant) people want.
On cleanliness: when I was eleven, my room was that neat. Most of the time. Also, I would have been salivating over the bookshelves. I had that many books, but not that much space to keep them. (And it looks like she, like me, does not have enough room on the shelf for all of them!)
I miss my books. It simply wouldn’t be practical to bring them all to college. They wouldn’t all fit in my *room*, never mind shelves.
Oh . . . and TomG: Buffy v. Edward:
Awww. Kodi just clearly wants to be friends.
Preteen girls unite! That appears to be pretty near the exact shade of carpeting I asked for and got in my room when I was ten.
No lavender paint on the walls, but we did put up wallpaper with purple flowers all over it. And these windowshades with giant bunches of African violets.
My parents were pretty indulgent, I must say.
I love Athena’s room! I would have loved that carpet in my room when I was her age. Heck, I wouldn’t mind it now!
Have a great time relaxing with the dog and your book.
#26 Brynne, thanks! I needed that!
Looks like Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw is in the top of that pile of books on the floor.
Are Akitas ever NOT neurotic? If I wear a different hair style or hat, mine gives me a wary look. Mine seems to watch (always facing the door) and be hyper sensitive about anything different, which makes her very good at what she does (protect, guard, and alarm).
the dog is intensely curious about the carpet layers, and at least one of the carpet layers is terrified of the dog
My brain insists on reading ‘carpet layers’ as in ‘layer cake’ as in ‘differentiated strata of the carpet’ — possibly the carpet and the carpet pad.
This creates a subsequent image of either the carpet itself, or the carpet pad, being terrified of the dog. Poor carpet pad.
@31 You beat me to that comment by about 5 minutes. I did the same thing.
When I read that Edward from Twilight was staring down at you, for one brief moment (before I read on) I thought that perhaps the fumes HAD gotten to you…although if that were the case, perhaps Athena would be happier to keep the fumes…
I’m skeptical about the dog’s neuroses. In every photo that -I- have ever seen of this dog, it appears to be unconscious.
Meanwhile–just wanted to say, I got my copy of YYOUR HATE MAIL WILL BE GRADED YESTERDAY, and crawled into bed in a state of exhaustion last night (trying to finish overdue book that frantic editor is asking after daily), and thought I’d barely have the concentration or energy to get through a couple of essays before falling asleep. Fifteen compulsively-read essays later, I was appalled to realize how much much-needed sleep I would lose, thanks to you. Damn you, sir!
that room is so full of win. :) your daughter just gets cooler and cooler.
Oh Carpet High.. how I love thee.
My grandfather has been a Flooring Installer (not Carpet Layer, bah!) for 44 years, and needless to say I’ve helped him with a lot of jobs since I was a little kid. Haven’t done it in a while with him, but every time I smell new carpet somewhere it gets me all excited. Feels good to remember childhood.
Oh… oh god. I’ve been on the internet too log. I saw that photo and my first thought was “Looks ‘shopped.” *commits seppuku and dies with honor*
Condolences on having to play musical rooms — it’s been decades since I did that, but then *I* was doing the decorating (in that “copious spare time” we all know & love), so it lasted longer and was more traumatic.
Did Athena get her purple room before or after the kid in the Home Depot ad? and does she want to dye her hair purple too? It’s coming, you know. I had an 18 year old blonde daughter who is now a 19 year old redhead.
Sounds like a certain young lady needs to be reminded: “Real vampires DIE in sunlight.”
I love the paint. I hate white rooms.