Announcing the Announcement of Something: Or, Did You Know It’s April Fool’s Day?

Posted on April 1, 2010    Posted by      105 Comments

Because it’s April Fool’s Day and I’m feeling like you’ll all be sad if I don’t mess with your heads today, here’s something for you to jam into your skull and move around:

As you know, last year I took some time to work on something I called That Super Secret Project That I Cannot Tell You About. What was it? Well, duh, I can’t tell you about it.

BUT: very soon — and on a day that’s not April Fool’s Day — I will finally announce what it is to all of you.

So this is the announcement to announce that I will soon be announcing what I’ve been doing that’s worth announcimentation. Consider yourself pre-announcitized.

And in the meantime, I’ll let you speculate on what it might be, by way of a poll, which will have several options, one of which may be the truth! Or may not be, because, hey, it’s April Fool’s Day, and I could just be screwing with you. I mean, probably not, because why would I go through all this effort just to lie to you? But then again, isn’t that exactly what I would say on April Fool’s Day? Of course it is. But honestly, I wouldn’t put you through all this just to poke at you. Most days. Although today I might. Or might not. This could all be a ruse. Indeed, maybe that “Secret Project” was in itself a long con, something I thought up last year and spoon-fed you so I could pay it off today! Mind you, it seems unlikely, as I am famously lazy. But then, it’s because I am lazy that such an elaborate plan would work. You just don’t know.

So anyway, here’s the poll.

Answer truthfully.

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105 Comments on “Announcing the Announcement of Something: Or, Did You Know It’s April Fool’s Day?”

  1. First vote!?
    Actually, I think it’s just a thinly veiled attempt to do some “market research” to see what project he should start next.

    That or the “super secret project” has really just been his efforts to get the new floors done.

  9. I’m most excited about the fruit butters one. Could give a shit about the writing.

    (giggles)

  10. It’s not a novel. It’s an animated series, based on OMW, and/or graphic novel, original content.

  11. A musical, cowritten with Jonathan Coulton, based on the life of Nikola Tesla and his forbidden love with Thomas Edison

    Please, please, please make this a reality.

  12. I voted pregnancy because Scalzi has been so hot and cold lately. Plus, I also hear that Ohio is suddenly the largest consumer of pickles per capita in the US.

  13. Okay, if there isn’t a JoCo musical about Nikola Tesla and a forbidden love with Edison, can there be one? Please, please please?

  15. I was going to go for the fruit butters thing, but then it occurred to me that the term “fruit butters” may not mean what I think it means.

  19. I know what it is. He’s been contracted to write the screenplay to the next Uwe Boll movie, Super Mario Bros Meet The Dude From Grand Theft Auto III.

  21. Can I have a write-in for “Creative Consultant to NASA?” because the stuff coming from Mars has been boring lately, and that whole “Rover just won’t die” plotline totally jumped the shark.

  23. Quite obviously if one were going to write a Tesla/Edison secret love musical, one would have to call it “AC/DC”.

    So it would be a musical about current events?

  24. You may call it “AC/DC”, but you’d have to set the music to Queen, which happens to be playing on the radio right now.

  25. I picked video game as well. It was the first thing that popped into my head all those many months ago when this super-duper toppity secrety mumbo-jumbo was first announced, and I’m sticking with it.

  26. Someone has way too much time on his hands.

    Pregnancy is winning right now. What is wrong with you people? It’s all about the bacon.

  28. Hmm. Didn’t see “Will challenge John Boehner as congressional candidate for the Free Lunch Party (Don’t Stop Believin’!).” Disappointed.

  29. Wait. Scalzi is Sicilian?

    Hmmmm. Jonathan Coulton and Brian May (Queen) and Scalzi. I don’t care *what* it is, this could seriously be made of win. Of course, it immediately occurs to me that scheduling this is going to be a right *bastard*…

    Bah. Enough groundswell? It’ll happen.

  30. 1. Near future SF written in collaboration with Glen Beck about the inevitable triumph of fascist progressive communism.
    2. A movie based on a free toy originally obtained from a breakfast cereal that featured in a video game being played by a graphic novel character. (note: it is a pornographic movie).
    3. The musical thing was a hint; Scalzi is writing songs for AC/DC’s new CD.

  31. He can’t be pregnant. Pickles and Bacon? forget about it.
    However……

    Perhaps if you cooked some really thick bacon until it was REALLY crispy, perhaps you could…

    PICKLE THE BACON!!!!

    John, you now have a summer project.

  32. (Oh, and too, also: When will ThinkGeek learn that their April Fool products are always the ones I’m willing to buy RIGHT THIS SECOND!? Seriously. A talking plush bacon? I got a one-year-old nephew and a credit card guys! Don’t do this to me.)

  33. I think it’s a science fiction erotica novel entitled “Old Man’s Piece”, based on the first week after induction.

    Induction? There’s a pun in there somewhere, but I fear it.

  34. I would have said “He’s pregnant!”, but you’ve been working on it too long for that… believe me, by now you’d be showing and it would SO not be a super-secret project anymore!

  35. I’m thinking the latter. You have been dropping hints about how your figure has been changing… and looks like a great percentage of people agree! :P

  36. An OMW movie would be pretty cool. Just sayin’. But only if they did it like LotR and made it in 3-6 3 hour installments.

  38. I’m picturing a SyFy’s Sanctuary flamboyant Tesla playing against Michael Shanks as Edison, with Amanda Tapping as Edison’s beard

    …but enquiring minds want to know where will George Westinghouse fit in. I think maybe the money-grubing, ex-lover, tycoon keeping Edison and Tesla apart.

  39. Scalzi @20: People like you ought to be required to register as a public danger to keyboards.

  41. It really should be a video game based on OMW, complete with an interactive period for that first week after body switch…

  42. “So this is the announcement to announce that I will soon be announcing what I’ve been doing that’s worth announcimentation. Consider yourself pre-announcitized.”

    Ok. John, I know you’re a word-smith and take great pride in your use of particular words but Dang! That sentence is a work of art.

    BTW: Bacon!

  43. #23 Patrick on 01 Apr 2010 at 10:26 am
    You may call it “AC/DC”, but you’d have to set the music to Queen, which happens to be playing on the radio right now.

    Sorry, but it would have to be set to the musical stylings of ELO.

    “Do Ya”(Want My Love) would bring the house down, I’m tellin’ ya.

  44. I voted for the musical because Tesla! Edison! UST!!

    Of course we know it is really that he is pregnant.

  45. Now when you say “he’s pregnant,” I assume of course you mean Krissy and you just did your part. (calling that a “project” is a little creepy I might add). If we’re talk some Schwarzenegger/Junior thing (I pity you) then this blog is going to get really interesting….as well as a lot more readers I imagine.

  46. Hey! Everyone knows Tesla is a metrosexual! He is just trying to get street cred with Queer CERN Nation.

  47. On music for the Tesla/Edison: He would of course have to either open or close Act I with “The Electric Slide.”

  49. And the crowd chants: “JoCo/JoSca! JoCo/JoSca! JoCo/JoSca!” Let the electricity puns begin!

    With Paul playing Edison and Storm playing Tesla.

    Guest appearance by Tom Smith as Schrödinger’s Cat.

  50. Honestly: it’s my birthday. And my One True Wish this year is that AC/DC BE REAL.

    (ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease)

  51. mensley @ 22:

    Quite obviously if one were going to write a Tesla/Edison secret love musical, one would have to call it “AC/DC”.

    So it would be a musical about current events?

    I’m shocked that this topic could generate such a revolting idea. You should both be charged with wire fraud. Or something.

  52. Dude, I hate to break it to you, but your super secret plans to take over The People’s Republic of West Latveria collapsed last night when the NSA broke the cypher on your messages to the Royalists forces.

    (Lemon juice and shifting everything over one letter? It did have them going for a while because they didn’t think anyone would use something that simple.)

    Your assets are frozen. Your supporters are either in prison or giving evidence for the state. No one believes you’re the lost heir of Xiorga XXI. The mercenaries have packed it in and are off to Biafra.

    Run, Scalzi! Run!

  53. I’m not guessing, I’m VOTING – PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

    “A musical, cowritten with Jonathan Coulton, based on the life of Nikola Tesla and his forbidden love with Thomas Edison”

    Because we so TOTALLY need this in the world! (Besides, I can easily see Tesla loving Edison, and Edison *playing* Tesla and then dumping him when he got what he wanted.)

  55. Technoshaman@47: Hey, I may be slow on the uptake, but at least I’m owning it.

    Just, you know, not also owning a clean keyboard.

  58. I admit I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time trying to figure this out.

    The Facts: (As I understand them.)

    1. It took about a month’s worth of writing, so it’s likely not a novel.
    2. Other than the writing part, it has been in the works since at least last summer, so it figures to be fairly production intensive.
    3. John loves him some video games.

    Conclusion: Video game.
    (Cop out alternatives: Short animated work or screenplay)

  62. Didn’t Scalzi say he was writing 4,000 words a day that month? If so, he could have written a 100,000 page novel easily.

  65. I’ve been listening to Laurie Anderson’s United States Live this week and there’s a bit in there about Tesla, Edison and Tesla’s attire. Synchronicity, man. I only hope Laurie Anderson is a creative consultant on the project.

  66. If you go with the version of Tesla on “Sanctuary”, he’d be a narcissistic, campy vampire.

    Or maybe the version David Bowie did in “The Prestige”.

    So, yeah, it could work.

    But really, I think it’s the slash project. But is Wil aware of this, or are you just going to… Ehm… Spring it on him?

  67. Racahel@33:I would have said “He’s pregnant!”, but you’ve been working on it too long for that… believe me, by now you’d be showing and it would SO not be a super-secret project anymore!

    True, assuming we are talking about a human baby in a human host.

    But it is important to be careful about your underlying assumptions.

  69. “Old Men contantly referencing the War they were in long before you were born?”

    Slash coauthored with Wil Weaton “Humping George Lucas?”

  70. I voted for Hunting George Lucas mostly so that Tor might also buy the sequel to it, Killing Jar Jar.

  71. Bearpaw @ 50:
    I’m shocked that this topic could generate such a revolting idea. You should both be charged with wire fraud. Or something.

    Your resistance to the idea is noted. Perhaps you could calm down by chanting some “ohms.”

  72. The terrible thing about this poll is I *want* ALL of those things to happen. Well, almost all.

  73. Gaiman has been hinting at a super secret musical project as well. I’m guessing the two of you are writing an opera about fruit butters and honey.

  74. I don’t see am option to vote without selecting anything at all. An oversight?

  76. Leigh Butler @74: Nonono – David Bowie as T.A. Edison, if you please, with a hint of the aging-but-dignified look Bowie had in The Hunger before the rapid progression to undead senescence.

    Paul Costanza (sp?) as Tesla, perhaps. What moustaches he has!

  77. John’s pregnant of course. Check out the picture of him on March 29th. He’s got that special glow.

  78. Agreed–the Tesla on Sanctuary (Jonathon Young) is *wonderfully* over the top and could only enhance such a project. Fabulous idea!

  80. “…which will have several options, one of which may be the truth! Or may not be…”

    Actually, I have a friend of a friend who managed to find out the details behind the project and WOW! I cannot wait!

    Also, I hope I don’t cause too much trouble by saying that one of the options listed in the poll isn’t it!!

  81. He is writing non-fiction fact based book in support of creationism. He is going to have a release party at the creationist museaum.

  82. Personally, I’m hoping you’re writing a script for SGU. But that’s not on the list. Of course, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t the SSPTYCTUA, since you allowed for that exception. And if the script involves bacon, pregnancy, or Wil Wheaton, maybe it is, but in disguise.

    It might be even more fun if you were going to appear on SGU as a guest star in your own episode. Can you act? Acting up doesn’t count.

  84. I always thought the proper usage was “announciated”. Perhaps one of your more English-majored readers could help.

  87. I can read between the lines. It’s gonna be a musical comedy video game about the life of Tesla and Edison’s illicit and flatulent love-child, set in the Star Wars universe, with a pregnant Zoe Perry as the love interest. The sponsors are an international food conglomerate about to introduce a line of bacon-flavored fruit butters who are relying on prominent product placement in the soon-to-follow animated TV series, which they will also sponsor, to generate a profit.

    The project’s working title is … well, you figure it out.

  92. Obviously he’s been working on a musical version of a movie based on a video game based on a television series starring a children’s breakfast cereal based on a novel (in one of his universes) by George Lucas, who is pregnant with bacon.

    Or something like that.

  99. I was torn between the Tesla / Edison musical and the Slash that should not be.

    Although Will Weaton needs as many things as he can get under his belt to erase Westley Crusher from our minds.

  100. GL2814 @ 99:

    I was torn between the Tesla / Edison musical and the Slash that should not be.

    Although Will Weaton needs as many things as he can get under his belt to erase Westley Crusher from our minds.

    [cough] So to speak.

  101. WE never had a CHANCE did we? He is pregnant by Tom Edison, as a result of forbidden love while making a musical with somebody whose name I do not recognize. Thats the deal right? Come CLEAN!

  103. Even if it’s not the current super secret secret project, you’d better be working on “AC/DC” with JoCo by the end of the year, Mr. Scalzi. The people have spoken.

  104. Ditto everyone about the pure awesomeness of the Edison/Tesla musical idea. Add me to the chorus of people saying if this isn’t your current secret project, please please please make it your next secret project.

    And I was going to say the above even before I got to the “AC/DC” part, which elevates the idea from merely pure awesomeness into the realm of genius.

    Also, I’m hoping there’ll be a song titled “I Sing the Body Electric.”

  105. John/Jane Scalzi will soon announce that she has become the first spontaneous male to female transexual to make a complete physical transformation without the need for corrective surgery.

    In addition, John/Jane Scalzi will announce her pregnancy with Wil Wheaton’s love child.

WHATEVER


Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, editor – AMS
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