The Head of John Scalzi Demands Blood

While I was at Phoenix Comicon, at my signing table I occasionally sat next to Sam Sykes, author of the fantasy novel Tome of the Undergates, which will have its US debut this summer from Pyr Books. As so often happens, our back and forth quickly became a testosterone filled battle of one-up-manship, because that’s how we roll. I thought I had gotten the upper hand on Sam when I wiped my Cool Ranch Dorito-encrusted fingers on his shirt, just to establish my dominance, but then when I left to do a panel and came back, he had reversed my name card and done this to it:

And to pull in for a little detail:

(shakes fist) You win this round, Sam Sykes! But I will be waiting. Oh, yes.

What did I do with the defaced name card? Why, I used it, of course. Because my head, it does demand blood. Just so you know.

20 Comments on “The Head of John Scalzi Demands Blood”

  1. This Sykes guy obviously knows nothing about you. That second one clearly ought to read “Plz give Double Doubles.”

  2. Has he seen your ScalzOrc persona? Does he not know that you were bombarded with gamma radiation and he shouldn’t make you angry?

  3. That’s great! Although it makes me think.

    Obviously, you cannot possibly have the time to read every other writer. When you meet one at a convention, perhaps for a panel or you have been sat next to one, or are introduced by a mutual acquaintance, or whatever, is it awkward if one or the other of you is unfamiliar with each other’s work?

  4. Is the “Head of Scalzi” like Zardoz? and will you post of pictures of you in orange Borat-style singlet and/or wedding dress like Sean Connery wears in the movie?

  5. Well, when you conquer the world and become the emperor of humanity, I guess we know who won’t be doing your imperial portrait.

  6. I never ignore synchronicity – my Netflix copy of Zardoz is on the coffee table in my office RIGHT NOW.

    (I say I draw up the pic – and then you, me, and Sam autograph it then auction it off for Kids Need To Read. And Wil will probably have a print of it framed. ;) )

    And tell Athena I’m thrilled that she’s thrilled. If she’d like them, I’ll draw in the other books and send ’em along to you.

  7. I remember seeing the nameplate (and laughing) while waiting to meet you. I assumed you’d drawn it yourself, while bored or something…(though how you’d be bored at that con,I have no idea!!).

    The ladies in front of me suggested you turn the nameplate around… I would have left it the way it was =)

    Thanks again for signing my “Waiting for Athena”. I thought it was the perfect thing for you to sign, make a matched set with my signed “Hate mail”.

  8. If I ever figure out how to transfer pictures from my blackberry to my computer, I’ll upload that picture that explains just why it’s sandwiches you crave instead of double doubles, Mr. Scalzi.

    Also, I feel James has the best idea of the century. It is our duty to put the Head of Scalzi to use for the good of children.

  9. “Tomb of the Undergraduates,” “Tome of the Undergarments” and “Tom of the Undergrates” are the current leading misinterpretations.

    The man to find the absolute best one is entitled to a free five dollar gift certificate to ScalziCo.

  10. @James Owen-I feel that Lee Whiteside, as the orchestrator, should perhaps get a print too.

  11. I’m sorry if I laughed, but when I read about you two doing a “one-upmanship” the only thing I could think of was “Old Mans War”.

  12. I’m just so thrilled to have been within a few feet of this unfolding pictorial drama. Which is, as a radius determined by Sam, well within the jurisdiction of the “Court of Sykes”.

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